CREDIT CRUNCH CHRISTMAS by Micky P Kerr

It’s the credit crunch Christmas, we’ll all do our best

Poor old Santa Claus, he’s not impressed

They took all his reindeer, his sleigh’s repossessed

A sarcastic thanks to the banks for this mess

Merry Christmas. Ho, ho, ho.

Get your pockets hemmed in, there’s no more lendin’

The time for excess spending is ending

Pick up a needle and thread, start mending

the holes in your clothes, a recession is pending

Price collapse, the markets relapse

Turn off your lights and turn off your taps

Turn off your PCs, turn off your Macs

Stop buying chickens and start catching rats

My house is freezing, turned off the heating

The Footsie 100 is constantly grieving

The future’s not bright, the purse strings are tight

The elderly’s plight is the cold snap at night

They’re living in fuel poverty, gas company profits do bother me

It’s daylight robbery

It’s the credit crunch Christmas, we’ll all do our best

Poor old Santa Claus, he’s not impressed

They took all his reindeer, his sleigh’s repossessed

A sarcastic thanks to the banks for this mess

Boom follows bust and bust follows boom

Go tell that to the punters who booked flights with Zoom

So wrap up in blankets and stay in your room

This is globalisation – I’m off to the moon

And you can’t trust the banks when they don’t trust each other

Look at Morgan Stanley, look at Lehman Brothers

Look at Northern Rock, it’s a northern wreck

And every gambling City banker lost his bet

And every house built is a house built on debt

Yet the mortgage repayments are not being met

And the summers we get are cold, windy and wet

Sad weary faces depressed and upset

But everybody, let’s not forget it’s supposed to be Christmas time

It’s the credit crunch Christmas, we’ll all do our best

Poor old Santa Claus, he’s been depressed

They took all his sacks and his sleigh’s repossessed

A sarcastic thanks to the Yanks for this mess

Alan Greenspan, he’s your man

The man from which the credit crunch began

And now he’s retired with a millionaire’s tan

And a golden handshake from the markets he scammed

They’ll rise again soon and when lessons are forgotten

They’ll crash from those dizzy heights back to the bottom

So let’s think of a time before financial fragility

Before the hoarding of liquidity, before negative equity

A time when Chomps were 10p

It’s the credit crunch Christmas, we’ll all do our best

Poor old Santa Claus, he’s not impressed

They took all his sacks and his sleigh’s repossessed

A sarcastic thanks to the banks for this mess

The credit crunch Christmas, we’ll all do our best

We’re sharing a tin of SPAM for Christmas dinner

Happy Xmas

Transcribed by Jeffrey Hill, Ecole de Management de Normandie, Le Havre, France