Intimate Relationships and Communication
Chapter 4
Developing Intimate Relationships
* Successful Relationships require:
– Positive Self-concept and Self-esteem
• developed in infancy and childhood
• gender roles
• attachment
• adult styles of loving
• less than ideal childhood can still have a successful relationship
Developing Intimate Relationships
* Successful Relationships require:
– Friendships
• based on companionship, respect, acceptance, help, trust, loyalty and reciprocity
• may be longer lasting and more stable
Love, Sex, and Commitment
* One of the most basic and profound human emotions.
* These 3 are linked ideals in intimate relationship.
* Characteristics of love, sex and commitment.
Sternberg’s Classifications of Love
* Based on degrees of intimacy, passion and commitment:
– Liking
– Infatuation
– Romantic
– Fatuous
– Empty
– Companionate
– Consummate
The Pleasure and Pain of Love
* Recognize the human emotions
– Two components:
• Physiological arousal
• Emotional explanation
The Transformation of Love
* All relationships change over time.
* High levels of passion.
* Growth of intimacy.
* Reduction of romance and or passion to the transformation of deep love.
Stresses on a Intimate Partnership
* Unequal or Premature commitment
* Unrealistic Expectations
* Competitiveness
* Balance of Time together and apart
* Jealousy
Successful Relationships
* Realistic expectations
* Mutual trust
* Open communication
* Effective ways to resolve conflict
* Agreement on religious/ethical values
* Equal roles
* Balance of individual and joint interests
Ending a Relationship
* Reasons why?
* Guidelines of a breakup
– Fair chance
– Be fair
– Be tactful
– Time for resolving your anger and pain
– The value of the experience
Communication
* Nonverbal
* Ability to interpret nonverbal messages
* Self-disclosure
* Listening
* Feedback is a constructive response
* Gender differences in communication
Conflict and Conflict Resolution
* Conflict resolution skills are vital for maintaining intimate relationships.
– Clarify the issue.
– Find out what each person wants.
– Identify various alternatives.
– Decide how to negotiate.
– Solidify the agreements.
– Review and negotiate.
Pairing and Singlehood
* Choosing a Partner.
– Attraction.
– Similarities.
– Communication.
– Acceptance.
Dating
* Different cultures have different rituals for finding a mate.
* American Culture.
– Getting to know each other.
– Traditional male-female dating pattern.
– Dating of young people.
Cohabitation
* Factors of acceptance
* Rarely continues indefinitely
* Advantages
* Liabilities
Partnership
* Gay and Lesbian
– Sexual orientation
– Homosexual relationships in relation to heterosexual relationships
– Traditional gender roles
– Societal attitudes
Singlehood
* Diverse group
* Factors that contribute to a growing number
* Advantages
* Disadvantages
* Enjoyment depends upon:
Marriage
* Benefits of Marriage
* Issues of marriage
* Role of Commitment
Divorce
* High rates.. Why?
– Process of Divorce.
• Physical separation.
• Emotional separation.
– Greatest stress producing event next to the death of a spouse.
– Recovery from divorce.
– Remarriage.
Family Life
* Becoming a Parent
* Family life cycle
* Preparation for parenthood
– Own stability and readiness to be a parent
– Physical health
– Teenage parenting
– Over the age of 35
– Nutritional habits
– Genetics
– Financial
– Considered educational and career plans
– Emotionally ready
– Social support
– Attitudes and aptitudes
Preconception Care
* Preexisting medical condition
* Current use of medications and drugs
* Use of tobacco and/or alcohol
* Past problems with pregnancy
* Disease risks and immunization history
* Dietary habits
* Family history of genetic diseases or multiple births
Birth of First Child
* Stressful transition
* Return to traditional gender roles
* Each stage of the Family Life Cycle
– New parents:
• worry about choices and mistakes
• no set rules
• most important is to promote satisfaction for all family members.
Birth of First Child
* Later stages: balance between giving freedom and setting limits
* Marital satisfaction tends to decline when children are in school
Building Blocks of Parenting
* Modeling
* Trust
* Respect
* Love and Discipline
* Honesty
* Positive Statements
* Time, Attention, Concern
Single-parent Families
* Differences to a traditional family life cycle.
* Difficulties experienced as a single parent.
* Single Fatherhood.
* Children from single-parent families.
Stepfamilies or Blended Families
* 3 out of 4 women and 4 out of 5 men will remarry.
* Should not be expected to duplicate emotions relationships of intact family.
* Healthy stepfamilies: less cohesive, more adaptable than healthy intact families.
- Allow for more individual differences.
* More of a history they have the more of a family unit is built.
Qualities of Successful Families
* Commitment
* Appreciation
* Communication
* Time together
* Spiritual wellness
* Coping with stress and crisis