F.O.G.H.A.T. 2001: A Bass Odyssey
Missouri-Rolla, October 21, 2001
Finals Packet #1: Written by Jeremy White
Toss-Ups
1. He led the National League in bases on balls for the Cubs in 1984. Ted Turner was once suspended for a year as Braves owner for tampering with him while he was a free agent from the Giants. His book They Call Me Sarge outlined the five frequently quoted suggestions for rookies that bare his name. For ten points, name this former outfielder whose son also played for the Cubs before becoming a centerfielder for the Pirates.
Gary _Matthews_ Sr.
2. Seven light years below sea level, you will find it live in the center of the earth. It is the place from which all funky things come. Residents have “Gasoline Dreams”, are “Slum Beautiful” and are “So Fresh, So Clean.” For ten points, name this titular locale of the album featuring “Ms. Jackson”, a 2000 release for Atlanta rap act Outkast.
_Stankonia_
3. Elmo Oxygen has a great time in this film, but is nonetheless convinced to leave to join another film. Fletcher Munson is the main character, a disillusioned writer whose daily grind includes avoiding phone calls from corporate spies, listening to delusional co-worker Nameless Numberhead Man and working on a meaningless speech for self-help guru and founder of Eventualism, T. Azimuth Schwitters. For ten points, name this comedy photographed, written, directed and starring Steven Soderbergh.
_Schizopolis_
4. According to the Simpsons, he played Zeus in The Erotic Adventures of Hercules. Although that is a fictional credit, it would be typical since he seems drawn to playing authority figures on television. He played Sergeant Wilentz in the Burt Reynolds series Dan August, clothing factory owner Nathan Davidson in Needles and Pins and tough principal Ben Cooper in Teachers Only. For ten points, name this actor best known as the landlord of Janet Wood, Chrissy Snow and Jack Tripper on Three’s Company.
Norman _Fell_
5. This alter ego of school principal Mr. Krupp was first featured in an “epic novel” that has since been followed by an “Extra Crunchy” activity book and sequels that pitted him against the Incredibly Naughty Cafeteria Ladies from Outerspace, the Talking Toilets, Professor Poopypants and the Wicked Wedgie Woman. For ten points, name this character created by Dav Pilkey.
_Captain Underpants_
6. “Things Will Never Be the Same,” “Queen of Rain,” “Spending My Time,” “Fading Like a Flower (Every Time You Leave),” “Church of Your Heart,” “Dangerous”, “Dressed For Success”, “Joyride.” For ten points, the previous titles are all songs from Per Gessle and Marie Fredriksson who were collectively what Swedish pop duo that had their biggest hits with “Listen to Your Heart” and “The Look.”
_Roxette_
7. Chris Kirkpatrick’s variety of N Sync lip balm. Tequila Rose. Boppin’ Hi-C. Passion Awareness Fruitopia. The other half of the Gatorade variety that includes Kiwi. Frankenberry. For ten points, what is the flavor of the aforementioned products that also describes the ice cream variety that with vanilla and chocolate makes Neapolitan?
_Strawberry_
8. He is not known as an actor, but he speaks the first line of dialogue in the classic Billy Wilder comedy The Fortune Cookie. He graduated from Washington State University and his first job was with KOMO-TV in Seattle handling the evening news. In 1958, he announced the first live broadcast of a sporting event in the Soviet Union and eight years later he became announcer for ABC’s weekly NCAA football coverage. For ten points, name this man who retired from ABC on January 4, 1999 after announcing the first Bowl Championship Game.
Keith _Jackson_
9. Many of the lead characters work at the intersection of King and Arthur in a building jokingly called Camelot. The title refers to the work schedule of Faith Yokas and Maurice Boscorelli who work the 3 to 11 PM shift from the 55th Precinct station house. For ten points, name this NBC series with an ensemble cast including Bobby Cannavale, Coby Bell and Molly Price that focuses on the lives of paramedics, firefighters and policemen in New York City.
_Third Watch_
10. Her most recent film appearance was as Gord Brody’s mother in Freddy Got Fingered. She has turned in two memorable roles as a mistress, one uncredited in Reversal of Fortune and the other in Woody Allen’s A Midsummer Night’s Sex Comedy. Her best large role may be as Linda Howard, the woman who loses a couple’s life savings in Las Vegas in the film Lost in America. For ten points, name this actress whose best known role is Elaine Dickinson, the intrepid stewardess she portrayed in Airplane.
Julie _Hagerty_
11. He abandoned, remarried and then re-divorced Val, the author who gained fame for the novel Capricorn Crude. He took a job at a car dealership working for neighbor Sid Fairgate and later married Sid’s sister Abby. After relocating to California, only visits to his daughter Lucy could lure him back to Southfork. For ten points, name this black sheep brother of J.R. and Bobby who was the central character of Knots Landing.
_Gary_ Ewing
12. On August 24th, 2001 in Oulu, Finland the world’s best at this tried to unseat Markus Vainionpaa as world champion. Each contestant performed a compulsory selection and a self-chosen selection. The jury rewarded points for charisma, the originality of the performance and for throwing themselves to the mercy of the music. For ten points, name this type of performance art for which the grand-prize winner at the world championship receives a real Washburn electric guitar.
_Air guitar_
13. Warning—two answers required. Their fame rests on previous hits Requiem for an Outfielder and Autumn for Gray and Peg. The long awaited Time Over Time, directed by auteur Hal Weidman, is set to bring them back together on the big screen, even if they are kaput as a couple in reality, she being with a Castilian lover and he is falling for her assistant and sister. For ten points, name this couple played by Catherine Zeta-Jones and John Cusack in America’s Sweethearts.
_Gwen_ and _Eddie_
14. All of them except the last one are automatically followed by an overtime that ends when the ball goes out of bounds or hits the sideboard or after thirty seconds have elapsed. With the exception of the overtimes, all six of them last seven minutes although a seventh sudden death one is added to break a tie. After each one of these the players change ponies. For ten points, name this subdivision of a polo game.
_Chukker_
15. With the exception of a bridge that pauses to reflect on the history of the band that recorded it, this song is very similar to “My Favorite Things” in that it recounts a list of items that produce a certain emotion. Police chases, custom-built bikes doing 103, a lady with a body from outer-space, skydiving naked from an aeroplane and top-fuel funny cars all perform the title function. For ten points, name this hit single about adrenaline rushes that appears on the album Dr. Feelgood by Motley Crue.
_Kickstart My Heart_
16. When this character’s employer asked “Will I make a good mother”, he replied “No but I will.” Selling a painting for one million dollars could not make him turn away from his day job, so his employer fired him so he could guiltlessly leave to study under a Spanish muralist. Until then, this house painter made a natural choice for young Avery’s nanny. For ten points, name this wisecracking Murphy Brown character played by Robert Pastorelli.
_Eldin_ Bernecky
17. The title character is Kathryn Lyons who learns from union rep Robert Hart that Jack, Kathryn’s husband of sixteen years, was killed in a work-related accident. Following up on a phone number in Jack’s papers, Kathryn learns about Muire, the Irish stewardess living in London who was Jack’s other wife. For ten points, name this novel by Anita Shreve about a woman who learns of a husband’s secret life after a plane crash.
The _Pilot’s Wife_
18. After a montage of a camera panning over still photographs, it begins with Detective Thorn disgustedly turning off the television during an interview with Governor Santini. With the help of an attractive piece of “furniture” named Shirl and veteran police book Sol Roth, Thorn investigates the mystery of the murder of wealthy industrialist William Simonson. Along the way, Thorn discovers the even more disturbing truth behind a ubiquitous consumer product. For ten points, name this film starring Edward G. Robinson and Charlton Heston in which a detective learns that the title substance is people.
_Soylent Green_
19. He has become a serious player in the horse-racing world as evidenced by his co-ownership of Millenium AllStar, the racehorse that won the Achievement Handicap in 2001. After Glenn Healy’s retirement, Corey Schwab became his backup in his more famous sports role. Schwab probably won’t see much playing time since even with a broken thumb this man managed to shut out the New Jersey Devils in game one of the Eastern Conference Semifinal series. For ten points, name this Toronto Maple Leafs goalie whose nickname is inspired by a fictional dog created by Stephen King.
Curtis _Joseph_
20. This album seems obsessed with geography. It visits the “Backstreets”, ends in “Jungleland” and describes a “Meeting Across the River”. More famously, the second track mentions a Freeze Out occurring on Tenth Avenue and the whole thing kicks off on “Thunder Road.” For ten points, tramps like us, baby, are described by what title of a classic Bruce Springsteen album?
_Born to Run_
21. George Roundy although very much in demand professionally longs to be an independent business owner in this satire for which Lee Grant won a Best Supporting Actress Oscar. Roundy is also in demand in the bedroom and is simultaneously romancing two customers, Felicia and Jill, not to mention hooking up with Felicia’s daughter Lorna played by Carrie Fisher. For ten points, name this 1975 Hal Ashby film about a hairdresser played by Warren Beatty.
_Shampoo_
FOGHAT 2001: A Bass Odyssey
Packet #1: Written by Jeremy White
Bonus
1. Not only could the Attractions lay down some wicked grooves, they apparently kept Elvis Costello humble. Given a bombastic claim made on an album cover, name the Costello album on which the Attractions are completely or almost completely absent.
a. Elvis had not yet hooked up with the Attractions when he recorded this debut album that took its name from a line repeated at the end of the song, “Alison”. The cover featured the phrase “Elvis is King” repeated in a checkerboard pattern.
_My Aim is True_
b. Costello furthered his claims to regency by wearing a crown and cape on the cover of this largely acoustic 1986 masterpiece featuring songs like “Brilliant Mistake”. The Attractions appear only on one track, “Suit of Lights.”
_King of America_
c. Costello abandoned the Attractions (albeit temporarily) when he recorded this 1989 album that spawned the hit “Veronica”. The cover features an illustration of Costello’s head mounted like a hunting trophy with the phrase “The Beloved Entertainer” below it.
_Spike_
2. Identify these great Kansas City Chiefs tight ends for ten points each.
a. He played on Cal’s 1997 Sweet 16 team, but luckily for KC fans this current Chiefs All-Pro limits his basketball these days to a slam-dunk end zone celebration.
Tony _Gonzalez_
b. Until Gonzalez joins him, this man will probably remain the only tight end in the Chiefs’ team Hall of Fame. He was named to the all-time AFL team and continued to star for the Chiefs after losing sight in one eye in an accident in December 1964.
Fred _Abranas_
c. Although Jeremy cannot find his name on any roster sheets, according to the Kentucky Fried Movie, this former Kansas City Chiefs tight end is equipped with various whips and chains and a sexual appetite guaranteed to knock your socks off.
Big _Jim Slade_
3. Jeremy does not pretend to know anything about eschatology, but has always suspected that if there is a hell, it will somehow involve a Bronson Pinchot television retrospective. Name the Pinchot series from descriptions for ten points each.
a. Geena Davis, Alfre Woodward and Bill Maher all starred in this NBC sitcom that aired in 1985 and that was set in San Francisco. Pinchot played a gay lawyer.
_Sara_
b. Pinchot is best remembered for playing Meepos resident Balki in what ceaselessly annoying 80s sitcom set in Chicago?
_Perfect Strangers_
c. Now we enter the lowest circle of Pinchot hell, a 1997 series that lasted six episodes, six more than it had any right to. In it, Pinchot played a 9,000 year old alien that crashed into Ed Begley Jr.’s backyard. If you’re not already repulsed beyond human comprehension, be advised that Jonathan Lipnicki played Begley’s son.
_Meego_
4. Name the entity described in the following celebrity quotes on a 30-20-10 basis.
30. In a recent interview Janet Jackson stated, "I had it on the set of Nutty. I said, 'You guys talk about these things like they're from God, so just let me try one.' And they brought it -- it was nice and hot. And, oh...my...goodness."
20. In Erin Brockovich, Julia Robertsmakes a snide remark about the girth ofEd Masry's office manager played by Conchatta Ferrel by referring to her as one of these.
10. Dennis Miller once described George Bush as having "eyes more glazed over..." than one of these objects "...when Marlon Brandois running the spray gun." Of course, these objects aren't really glazed with a spray gun, a fact that Miller would know had he looked through the glass windows in every store.
_Krispy Kreme_ doughnuts
5. For ten points each, answer these questions about films about that career so often featured in films…medical orderlies.
a. In what 1987…ahem…classic does the rap group the Fat Boys play three incompetent medical orderlies?
_Disorderlies_
b. A young man addicted to heroin and known as Fuckhead becomes a hospital orderly and raises cain with another orderly played by Jack Black in what independent film?
_Jesus’ Son_
c. What 1964 Jerry Lewis vehicle depicts a frantic orderly in a mental hospital who takes on the symptoms of the patients?
The _Disorderly Orderly_
6. The moderator will hand you a sheet of paper listing the finish for a fictional NASCAR Winston Cup race with only ten competitors. Assuming the drivers competed with the same teams and in the same car makes and models with which they competed in 2001 and assuming this is the first race of the season, answer these questions about points awarded for this race for the stated number of points. [MODERATOR’S NOTE: The handout is the back page of the packet.]
a. For ten points, who leaves this race in first place in Winston Cup points?
Dale _Jarrett_ and Sterling _Marlin_ (They are tied)
b. How many points did Marlin or Jarrett score in this race?
_180_
c. For ten points, all or nothing, rank the four competing manufacturers—Ford, Chevrolet, Pontiac and Dodge—in order of how they will leave this race ranked in the manufacturer’s championship points. Start with the highest point total.
_Ford_, _Dodge_, _Pontiac_, Chevrolet_
7. For ten points each, answer these questions about musical career of the Smiths…or the Fred Smiths to be more specific.
a. The late guitarist Fred “Sonic” Smith was a key member of this Detroit band that combined beefy guitar riffs and White Panther Party politics on their live classic Kick Out the Jams before, in Jeremy’s opinion, inadvertently inventing punk with their album Back in the USA.
The _MC5_ or The _Motor City 5_
b. Fred “Sonic” Smith is sometimes confused with another Fred Smith who was a bassist for two famous bands. Just plain Fred Smith joined Television because he thought they had a more commercial sound than what other band, which he left before they went on to score mega-hits with “Heart of Glass” and “Call Me”?
_Blondie_
c. To make the confusion more intense, Fred Smith’s Television bandmate Tom Verlaine occasionally collaborated with Fred “Sonic” Smith’s wife. Name “Sonic” Smith’s wife who was responsible for the poetry-rock fusion album Horses.
_Patti Smith_
8. They are probably the most professionally versatile characters in television history, Dr. Sam Beckett and Jared, the Prentender. Yes, it’s time for a game of Quantum Leap, The Pretender, both or neither. For five points each, given a profession, identify whether it was held by someone who Sam leapt into in Quantum Leap, impersonated by Jared on The Pretender, thus depicted on both shows or thus depicted on neither show. [MODERATOR’S NOTE: Since this is a multiple-choice bonus, please do not read the correct answers of each part until the bonus is completely finished.]
a. College professor