08/25/2014
Parents,
I hope your student made it through the first week ok. I find that students generally get adjusted fairly quickly. If you think your student is still struggling with the adjustment, please let me know. Perhaps I can help.
Students, for the most part, still think college is like high school. Between now and the fourth week of the semester, they will probably continue their high school ways. Then when the fourth week arrives and they have their first round of tests, they will realize how different college is from high school. I don’t know that there is anything I can do to convince them that they need to approach college differently.
In class this week, I’ll be showing them the grades from classes last year. I’m trying to alert them to the challenge they face, but most of them won’t believe me until they experience the challenge themselves. Maybe that’s best in that a bad grade can do wonders in getting them to realize they need to work hard to get where they want to be.
One of the most important messages I can share with you is to insist your student seek out help as soon as a problem occurs not after it’s too late. Our freshman program staff have worked through just about every issue a student can face.
In some cases, students will face very serious problems that can affect their academic performance. Some of these include:
■Death of a family member – unfortunately we have had one or two students every year who will lose a parent or a sibling.
■Serious injury or illness – if this is a typical year, we will have several students who will have a health emergency (e.g. broken body part, a disease requiring hospitalization)
■Parents’ divorce – college is a difficult adjustment for students. When parents decide to divorce or separate, students really struggle.
Should one of the first two above situations arise, please contact me immediately. We will contact the University’s Student Service office who will then send an accommodation notice to all of your student’s teachers. Also when one of these events occurs, I will try to meet with the student to see if additional support is needed.
The University also has a CounselingCenter that can help students work through tough personal issues such as their parents’ divorce, relationship problems, adjustment issues, and self-esteem issues.
In addition to the serious issues listed above, our students are likely to face a number of other issues. Some of the more common ones include:
■Loss of confidence
■Relationship issues (high school relationships rarely last into college)
■Learning challenges (some of these are treatable by medications)
■Lack of focus
■Lack of academic skills (e.g. time management, learning in class, taking tests)
■Test anxiety
■Roommate issues
■Panic
■Financial problems and problems due to excessive work schedules
■Homesickness
■Culture shock (for some students Morgantown is the largest place they have been, and for others it’s the smallest place)
One of the best ways to meet some of these challenges is for our students to become involved in student organizations. On September 2, students will be attending the Engineering Fest. They will get to learn about student clubs and other activities they can participate in.
My point in mentioning these challenges is not to alarm you, but to let you know that these issues are fairly common and that we are here to help. Again the earlier we know of the problem, the better we can help.
Let me close with two student stories.
It was a few weeks into the first semester freshman year when George came to my office. He seemed very upset. His problem was that his girlfriend from back home had broken up with him. As he told the story, he was in tears. It was a three-year relationship that had come to an end.
I was about to give him my “there are 14,000 more possibilities here” speech when he continued. “My girlfriend on campus also dumped me when she found out about the girlfriend back home.” It was hard to keep from laughing.
Then George said: “I’m a recovering narcotics addict.” The girlfriend struggles were tempting him to return to the pain killers he was using. George and I talked about finding other ways to focus his time. He also began to attend Narcotic Anonymous sessions.
George was a frequent visitor to my office early in the morning. We would talk, mostly about the new life he was trying to create.
When he returned home for Thanksgiving, he emailed me about emergency dental surgery he needed. He was in a lot of pain, but he was proud to let me know that he turned down the offer of a prescription for medicine to relieve his pain.
George eventually transferred out of engineering. I’ve often wondered how he is doing. I hope that he found someone else who he could connect with at a personal level.
The second case is Kirk. I taught Kirk’s father and his father told me that Kirk’s mother had breast cancer and asked me to look out for him. Kirk and I had a number of conversations over the next three years about his mother and how he could support her.
The first week of Kirk’s senior year, he came to my office and told me the end was near. We discussed how Kirk should handle his academic responsibilities when he was called home. I told Kirk that all he needed to do was tell me it was time and that we would handle the rest.
When the time came, Kirk’s faculty were notified of the situation and Kirk was allowed to make up the work that he missed. He’s graduated now and married. He has a wonderful career ahead of him. He was accepted into a prestigious development program in one of the leading corporations in the country.
One more story related to Kirk you will find interesting. Kirk had a test scheduled the day he came back to the University. Obviously he wasn’t prepared for the test. The teacher was insistent that he take the test when it was scheduled. One by one Kirk’s classmates approached the teacher to argue his case. Finally the teacher was “persuaded” to let Kirk take the test later.
If the teacher hadn’t changed his mind, all of Kirk’s classmates planned to turn in tests with nothing on them so that Kirk would have the highest grade in the class.
That to me is the real essence of the Mountaineer family.
P.S. If you are getting this email for the first time, you can see the previous emails at