“Howdy earthlings. My name is Dr. Shock.
I have been transported here from the planet Notprick. In naming our planet we imposed a national identity in calling ourselves a planet without pricks. To be a resident you can’t have one, but you can have a tawt, (I write the word on the blackboard starting from the end of the word to the beginning). We came up with the idea because we are located 180 degrees opposite the planet Krypton. We spelled Kryptyon backwards. The planet of supermen needs a planet of women to balance things out.
My mission in coming here is to invite women to our colony so that we can diversify our gene pool. . We obtain live sperm from Krypton or from living neutered male Notprikians. The sperm is passionately inserted into a willing surrogate mother. Our women always climax and always become pregnant. So do the inserters. We live in relative peace and harmony with everything on our planet. Would anyone here be interested in coming to Notprick?”
“How do you protect yourselves?”
“We are a dedicated society of women that understand that we need to work with nature and not use her for our benefit if it is not conducive to nature’s health. We are simple people and take comfort in what nature offers. We are a disciplined people. When I came to your planet I became amazed at how unnatural people live and behave. You have the capacity to do so much but most of your energy has gone into destruction. The desecration of the planet creeped up on you over many years and now you have to change your ways or die. These incessant wars are a symptom of need to control pricks. Just get rid of the pricks and then you will no longer need to protect yourselves. It is always the domineering prick that one requires protection from. We have come up with a logical solution.”
“I don’t believe it! No men? No society could prosper like that.”
“Men can come to our planet if they choose. They just have to surrender their penises. We are very practiced in the pseudo-surgical procedure and are able to perform it without any discomfort. We figured out a way of neutering men that is flawless. A drink is consumed by a man that consist of Viagra and Ritalin in a super concentrated mixture. After consuming the concoction the man has an erection compounded with orgasmic spasms that last for eight hours. After eight hours the penis falls off. The area in which the penis used to be heals within a few days and there is very little pain involved. The memory of the spasms can be replicated each time a surrogate mother has sperm implanted by a neutered man. These spasms require the spasms of the surrogate mother to be triggered. Both parties experience blissful peace.
There are many ways of knowing that you humans are totally unaware of. We know that we have an X and a Y chromosome that determines the sex of the individual. This is the origin of our biological existence. It all starts here and protein synthesis will soon take off. The development of the individual begins with dominant/recessive sexuality. The Y being dominant results in a male. But the X still lives in the nucleus of each cell of the body. This is so that a male does not go egomaniac. One must remember that the dominant/recessive paradigm of protein synthesis determines the individual’s biology. The example of the female is consistently replicated throughout development. This willingness to sacrifice one’s own expression for the sake of the individual explains a woman’s preponderance to nurture, to be compassionate, and to have a conscience. If you look at the great genius’s of your people you will find a woman behind most of it. Einstein had his wife to thank for his discoveries although he inadvertently forgot to publicly acknowledge this. Michelangelo and Leonardo DiVinci were two men that gave credence to the submissive because they discovered their feminine side. That is one thing that I do not understand about this homophobia. Since overpopulation is the source of your problems why be afraid of homosexuals? They are not contributing to the root problem of overpopulation. The heterosexual one parent families and your octomoms are more problematic.
“Some homosexuals are surrogates or donate sperm. What about them?”
“Now this is just an idea, but it seems to me that the lawmakers could restrict their procreation and society considers them just like anyone else. Then these people would be a real asset because they could devote themselves to the community instead of their offspring. If they chose to adopt children they would still be helping the community. There are answers to your questions, they just need to be logically and unemotionally addressed in a public forum.”
“It sounds like a Godless place.”
“You earthlings are a curious bunch. You claim that your God is the creator and then you make yourselves into his image. We see this as a symptom of megalomania.”
“Are you claiming that our religious beliefs have no validity?”
“Quite the contrary, the creator is our God. You look at life unrealistically. What allows for life on a scientific level be it chemistry, biology, physics or any other science? It is the connection. When hydrogen connects with oxygen you get water, when the sperm connects with the egg you get the beginning of an individual life, when you get an object on the planet, the object does not float off into space but stays connected to the planet. These connections are nothing in themselves but encourage everything.
The web of life is nature’s way of maintaining equilibrium. Compromises could never be reached if not for recessive tendencies. Organisms that thrive in any environment instinctively understand the relationship except your species. I suppose this is attributable in the belief that God is in your image. That is a dangerous belief. Humans use their intellect to abuse nature and in doing so have cut their own lifeline. Civilization has got to stop being paternal and start being maternal! This planet is out of balance and it is attributable to a lack of compassion, to an inability to feel another’s pain and act accordingly. If each individual did this in respective communities, all would fall into place. Different communities have different cultures and this must always be respected. Love of peace and love of the planet will guide you to justice. You all know this but for the life of me you won’t act accordingly.
Once you see that dominant/recessive tendencies need to be balanced you will understand why life is as it is. Mother Nature does not argue. The recessive/dominant connection/relationship is responsible for reality. The world that you have built around you is not natural. Your lives are against it.
Why are Americans protesting for Tibetan human rights while the leading cause of death of Native American youth on reservations is suicide? Is looking outside of your society to look find fault with the world not a symptom of the domineering prick? The dominant recessive paradigm is killing you if you insist on reserving power for those with military might. In the long run you are no longer cooperating with each other because both sides want to dominate. Hate mongers will infect your minds and trumping Sarah Palin’s presidency is Jeff Beck’s vice presidency.
Does no one in this country understand that the consumption and resulting pollution is killing much of the planet’s health? Slavery and genocide were practiced by those same rich landowners that wrote the constitution. It is time for the citizen to cry out for the native peoples of this country being that these natives know how to live in balance with this land.”
“What about Jesus?”
“Religion has so much to offer but I am afraid that it has been contaminated by your dominating tendencies. Jesus preached about this connection which ultimately is love. What is love if not a willingness to sacrifice for the sake of another? If one loves God with all their heart and soul then the result is noble. At the same time one must love their neighbor as themselves, even if that neighbor lives across the ocean, as long as you love each other as yourselves.”
“Are you saying that I should love Bin Laden?”
I do not think that hating him has gotten you too far. Willingness to sacrifice includes respecting the traditions of all peoples everywhere. You all learn this in church if you happen to go. Your society wages war in the name of a Christian, Muslim, or Jewish religion and this is because these religions have a jealous God. Show me a Christian that loves Bin Laden and you will be showing me a man that loved his enemies. He is the Christian. If religion is to dominate the moralities that a people hold then the religion needs to be scrutinized by women. Men need to dominate. It is in their nature. The females have to have the jurisdiction to put these issues into perspective. These religions have tunnel vision and all the possible connections between religions have been obliterated because of their jealous God. Men need to seek out their feminine side if your planet is to sustain human life.
I have come to your planet from the future. Sarah Palin became president of your country years ago. She was a barracuda of a president and ran the government like a bloodlust wolf hunt/basketball game from her plane. Nature had some surprises in for Sarah. The earth quakes were no longer occurring in an obscure place that was sparsely populated. After New York and Los Angeles were hit with devastating earthquakes that measured over nine on the Richter scale, there was world panic and your planet underwent cataclysmic entropy to such an extent that human species was rendered extinct. Sarah had her own private spaceship built and escaped the death she spread to the world. Her spaceship was intercepted by another spaceship and it was here that she underwent a conversion/transformation on the starship, Enterprise.
It is not anyone’s fault. It is what history has bestowed on you. Now it is time for herstory.Your country was founded on freedom but the writers of your constitution had slaves. Thomas Jefferson preferred one slave and fathered eight children who were then free labor for him. The pilgrims were the first Westerners to have productive relations with the native peoples of this land. They befriended them and then slaughtered them. This was in the name of Christianity and freedom. Presently half of the world population is enslaved to keep the Western lifestyle continuing. Sixty percent of the world population does not have enough to eat and many of those are starving to death. You put most of your money into a military complex that gives you the power to do this. At the same time you have put the indigenous people of this country onto reservations and test atomic bombs nearby. Wake Up! Your way of life is unsustainable.
I would not be coming here if it were not for my father, Dr. Spock.
I am a little human, a little Vulcan, and the rest Notprykian. I used to be Sarah Palin. I have been sent to you from the future to try to convince you that there are better ways. Sarah Palin became president of the United States in 2012. On the fourth of July of this year a massive earthquake hit New York City all the way down the Alleghenies to the Blue Ridge Mountains. She drilled the planet into oblivion but she foresaw the havoc she was wreaking. She had a private spaceship that took her to the starship Enterprise. It was here that she met Dr. Spock and fell in love. She magically came into contact with the Notprickians and Dr. Spock agreed to have his self neutered and he was the person that inserted the sperm that had previously been in his testicles. I have been raised to be an Ambassador to the Notprykians. ”
“So you Notprykians do not consider psychology to be a legitimate science?”
“On the contrary, psychology has much to enlighten you, but once again the science is male dominated. This accounts for a perverted science that allows a paternalistic power structure to continue. Nature and nurture account for your reasoning abilities. Even though you are all equipped with the X your thought processes have allowed the Y to dominate. Take Margaret Thatcher for instance. Her reasoning was sordidly misplaced and she did not allow her femininity to guide her. As the prime minister of Britain she modeled herself after Ronald Reagan which did not bring out the nurturing in her personality. My mother is another case in point. Who would think such a hot chick would be such domineering hawk? These are the woman to be leery of because they are living completely outside of their nature, embracing a dominating mind-set that leads to their own personal survival. They have abandoned a maternal conscience. This always leads to death.
We are not a humorlous people. We enjoy life and want earthlings to enjoy life also. I don’t see that happening, so if there are any people that want to join me just follow me.
Before I go I want to let you know about this red object I am sitting on. This is symbolic of all the cherries on our planet. As more women join our society the ball grows bigger and bigger and becomes riper and riper. And now I will sing our universal anthem: Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meier wiener. That is what I truly want to be. For if I were an Oscar Meier wiener, I could stand instead of sit when I pee.”
“But Krypton spelled backwards doesn’t even spell Notprick.”