Trevor’s story
Trevor, now 17, shares his story of compulsively gaming approximately 76 hours per week for 2 years between 14 and 16 and how he turned this around.
How old were you when you were first introduced to games?
I was in grade 4 when a mate at school talked about a game he was playing called “Ratchet & Clank 3 Up Your Arsenal”. I was really interested and begged my parents for a Play Station 2. Grade 4 was really quite late to be introduced to gaming – compared to others my age. I am an only child so didn’t have brothers or sisters to learn from. My parents gave me a very special birthday present and my fascination with gaming began.
What were your parents’ views about gaming and what guidelines did they put in place?
My mother was very worried about it as she knew about children spending too much time with “screens”. I was restricted to 2 hours on weekends and half an hour on school nights - which I’d use up immediately I got home from school!
Did you stick to these restrictions?
When I first started, I was more compliant with this regime but as I got older I learned I could push a bit more and a bit more…. I eventually wore them down I think and by the time I was 14 I could do what I liked. I had times set when I had to go to bed, but not on what I did. And then by the time I was 15 I could decide when I went to bed.
Tell me about other activities in your life between 10 and 14 years.
I had a pretty balanced life – family, friends, sport…. Except when I first got home from school! Games were always the thing I’d be excited to go home for. I got good mileage out of games. I could play them over and over and not get bored. I played “Ratchet & Clank 3 Up Your Arsenal” for 6 months before I moved on. My friend and I swapped games so we always had new games to play.
So what happened when you turned 14?
Although I had an Xbox, at 14 I moved to PC gaming. I had an old PC but I upgraded this so I could play “League of Legends”! Moving to PC was good because it’s the best, but bad because then I had ALL the games! I had every game I ever wanted and no restrictions from my parents so I played games! 32 million people play “League of Legends” everyday! There is no end to this game!
I would play later and later … always just a half hour more. I would feel sleepy but would tell myself I would go to bed in half an hour. It could be 4.00 am when I’d fall into bed, then have to get up to go to school! I’d lose track of time. Games offer you lots of fun options and as we know ‘time flies when you’re having fun!”
In the 2 years between 14 and 16, I played 4,000 games which, at an average of 40 minutes a game, is the equivalent of 16 weeks of playing 24 hours/day! That’s how much time I’ve spent on this game! It’s a free to play game but you can buy extras. I spent $450 on cosmetics ….to change the look of a character but not making any difference to the game. My friend has spent $1000 on these cosmetics.
What was the attraction of this game for you?
Playing with friends! I played with three friends from school and one from outside school. Because they lived near the school, they could do their homework when they got home and then be ready to play. But I lived a lot further away and had to get buses home and by the time I got home they were keen for me to get playing.
What happened to your homework?
I didn’t do it. I didn’t mean to not do it … I’d get involved in playing and tell myself I’d do my homework later… or in the morning! But then I’d play so late and sleep so little I couldn’t do homework before school or even at school. Often at school in class I’d be thinking about the game, or looking up stuff on the internet about the game and then could hardly wait to get home and play some more!
Is playing with friends part of the problem? Do you put pressure on each other to keep playing instead of sleeping or keeping up with homework or other activities?
Yes that happens. You don’t want to let your friends down. If I want to stop and go to sleep and the others want to keep playing they could usually convince me to play a bit more… just another half an hour! Similarly, if I wanted to keep playing I’d pressure the other to keep playing. But if the others were offline and I wanted to keep playing, then I’d switch to Guild Wars 2 (another MMO) and play solo.
So as you were playing more and more so were they? Do you think they also had problems with their gaming?
Yes … I believe so!
Are you aware of anything else going on for you at the time that may have contributed to the escalation of your gaming …. like problems in your relationships with your parents, friends or teachers or negative feelings like depression….. or was it simply driven by the game?
It was definitely driven by the game! Everything in my life was fine!
How did your parents deal with this? Were they aware that you were gaming to this extent?
Yes they got really concerned! They’d ask me all the time about my school work and whether I’d done my homework. But I’d lie and tell them that I did it at school. They tried to restrict my access – like disconnect the internet! That just caused lots of conflict! They weren’t concerned so much with what I did in my spare time so long as what I did was “right”. We never had a habit of eating evening meals together – probably because I was an only child – so my mother would just bring my dinner to me and I’d keep playing.
Did you have other friends who wanted to spend time with you?
Yes… but this dropped off. Friends who didn’t game were not my friends!
What do you think are the particular elements of games that drive play?
•Friends ( as described above)
•The way the in-game currency works: - e.g. Each game of League of Legends nets 70IP. Then everyday your first win of the day is worth 70IP and the game gives you an extra 150IP. This resets every 24hours. This brings people back to play every day. New characters cost 7800IP; runes and rune-pages cost more. Accumulating as many IP as possible helps the game.
•New developments - the new PS4 has touch pads and different graphics so everyone wants this.
Were there any impacts to your health?
Well I stopped doing sports. I used to do martial arts but any muscle I had soon depleted. Sitting down all that time didn’t help my weight! I gained lots of weight and I’m pretty certain I have some back problems from all that sitting!
What would you count as the benefits of this experience?
I have some really good friends now! I have good IT skills – I know how to protect my PC from viruses! – and better problem solving skills!
When did you start to notice that you had a “gaming problem”?
I always knew my gaming was a problem but I chose to ignore it. I wasn’t doing my school work and the crunch came when I was told that unless I did something to change this I was going to get kicked out of school! I always hated myself for not keeping up with the work… I knew I could do it and I was brought up to believe that I needed to get a good education. It was important to my future.
So what did you do?
I knew I had to stop gaming. I knew I couldn’t actually just cut down, not to start with. I had to stop completely for a period and then start to incorporate gaming in my life in a more moderate way. I stopped for about 3-4 weeks – I forced myself to not do it! Then I introduced gaming again but I had to restrict it. I had to do what my mother did back when I was in grade 4 but this time I had to do it for myself.
That’s quite a thing to do, to just stop! How did you do that?
I used my schoolwork as my focus instead of gaming. So, I’d get home from school and turn on my PC just as I usually did but instead of clicking into to a game I’d do an assignment! I set up a daily plan that provided me with an overview of what I had to do, and stick to, and it didn’t include gaming. But when I felt ready I included 40 minutes of gaming a day. If I felt I wanted to play more I forced myself to turn it off and read a book or something.
How did it feel to do this?
It felt fantastic! For so many years I felt I had no control over it – the temptation was too much and always had me going a half an hour more! After playing 8 hours a night during the week and 18 hours each day of the weekend, to do nothing felt like a big achievement! I felt that from the first day of not gaming! Everyday after that I felt I was in control! This was the most important part – being in control of myself! It made a huge difference to me! I did a job interview today and I realise that not very long ago I wouldn’t have gone to it. I would have chosen gaming instead!
The great thing is that I now know that I can do anything… anything I ask myself to!
Tips – for myself if I had my time again!
•I’d do what I was supposed to do FIRST… my homework and chores and anything else I needed to do before gaming then play in my spare time.
•I’d be responsible for going to bed – 11.00pm max! I’d get the same satisfaction out of it!
•Even if there’s pressure to keep playing it’s better to say no and go to bed. This would help my friends go to bed and get enough sleep too!
Tips for parents of a 14 year old like me!
•Be smart not harsh! Understand that you can’t turn the game off before the game ends. If the game is 40 minutes long then turning off before then just screws it up for the others in the team! In modern game, you can’t just “save” it!
•If children are doing the right thing then gaming is not a problem. It is important to monitor this.
•Take some time to understand gaming – what it is and what goes on. Parents can watch television for 4 hours and somehow they think that’s better than playing a game for 4 hours!