Healthy Relationships
A healthy relationship makes you feel good about yourself and your partner. You have fun together and you and your partner can be yourselves. All relationships are different, but healthy relationships share at least five things in common: the S.H.A.R.E. qualities.
1. Safety: In a healthy relationship, you feel safe. You don't have to worry that your partner will harm you physically or emotionally, and you aren't tempted to harm them. You can change your mind about something - like having sex - without being afraid of how your partner will respond.
2. Honesty: You don't hide anything important from your partner, and can say what you think without fear of being ridiculed. You can admit to being wrong, and you resolve disagreements by talking honestly.
3. Acceptance: You accept each other as you are. You appreciate your partner's unique qualities, such as shyness or neatness, and don't try to "fix" them. If you don't like your partner's qualities, you shouldn't be with that person.
4. Respect: You think highly of each other. You do not feel superior or inferior to your partner in important ways. You respect each other's right to have separate opinions and ideas.
5. Enjoyment: A good relationship is not just about how two people treat each other - it also has to be enjoyable. (If it's not enjoyable, why bother?) In a healthy relationship, you feel energized and alive in your partner's presence. You can play and laugh together. You have fun.
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Directions: Read the description of this relationship. Then answer the questions about the relationship.
Antonio and Miriam are proud that they have dated almost two years. They met in middle school but didn't fall in love until the 10th grade. Miriam and Antonio spend lots of time together and talk about lots of different things.
Over the years, Antonio has learned never to talk about past girlfriends or even girls who are friends. Miriam is very jealous and has a fit if she thinks Antonio is around any female other than his sister and mother. At first, Antonio thought Miriam would get over feeling insecure when he showed her how much he cared about her. He was even flattered that she wanted all of his attention. Antonio tried to talk to Miriam about her behavior a couple of times, but she got so angry she threatened to break up with him.
Antonio depends on Miriam to make most of the decisions in the relationship. She sometimes even tells him what he should wear to school and on dates. Antonio can always count on Miriam to tell him what to do when a major decision must be made. Miriam picked his elective courses for the current school year so they could have several classes together.
Both Antonio and Miriam have other friends and spend time with their families. They have part-time jobs and use the money for clothes and dates. Miriam even set up a bank account, so they can start saving up money to get married some day.
1. What are the healthy characteristics of this relationship?
2. What are the unhealthy characteristics of this relationship?
3. Are there signs of trouble in this relationship? Explain.
4. Which school or community resources could help Antonio and Miriam improve their relationship? Why?
5. Which partner is most likely to end this relationship? Why?
6. What steps should he or she take to end the relationship?
Answers
1. What are the healthy characteristics of this relationship?
Love, spending time, responsible people, affection, committed, communication,
2. What are the unhealthy characteristics of this relationship?
Jealous and demanding / controlling, dishonesty, insecurity, temper
3. Are there signs of trouble in this relationship? Explain.
Threats, jealousy, bank account, temper
4. Which school or community resources could help Antonio and Miriam improve their relationship? Why?
School dance, guidance counselor, teachers,
5. Which partner is most likely to end this relationship? Why?
vary
6. What steps should he or she take to end the relationship?
Say it clearly