The Grief Companion® – a Natural Helper
Introductory Remarks
Over the years a number of researchers have found that many of our problems may be resolved without professional help. Some people experience distress for a few months and either through their own efforts or a change in circumstances, they gradually return to a state that they consider “normal.”
Researchers have also found that the journey back to a feeling of good mental health – back to the experience of joy in our lives – can be speeded considerably by taking an active role in resolving these issues. This can be facilitated through the good grace of a companion who can listen well.
This includes issues and problems that arise as we embark on a journey through grief.
Research has shown that approximately 80% of those experiencing grief are able to reconcile their lives to their loss and to establish a “new normal” on their own, supported by friends and family. This is especially true if they have someone who will listen to them.
Natural Helpers
Every community has natural helpers. These people, often called “good listeners,” can be found everywhere and they seem to have a special knack for supporting their friends and acquaintances. From ministers to bartenders, these natural helpers can be as effective in helping people feel better as are mental health professionals.
You may well be one of those people who can help others realize a better life for themselves – one of those who can help (or companion) a partner on their grief journey – help them move from an “old normal” to a “new normal”. Strong bonds of caring can be developed on the experience of authentic connection with another.
To be a natural helper, one must have a sufficiently strong sense of self in order to tolerate connections without feeling engulfed or smothered by them. This healthy connecting is part of our fundamental sense of the sacred – our awareness that life is rooted in a reality beyond itself.
Today there is an increase in the availability of high-quality self-help materials to assist the natural helper. These include books, compact discs, and the Internet. Even so, the journey through grief can be a lengthy one and it is never linear – never a straight line. We will discuss how that journey cycles and spirals and how sometimes one even feels worse when one expects to feel better. As a Grief Companion, you will learn ways to encourage a Partner during these periods. The road to reconciliation is always bumpy and we all experience our share of dips in the road before reaching our destination of living as fully human and fully alive.
The key is not to give up. And the odds are definitely in our favor.
Reflections:
(Please write your responses in the space following each question.)
These are designed to help you relate the material to your own grief work and how it might affect you as a Companion.
1. Think of how someone, a “natural helper” (professional or not), has helped you to move from your “old normal” to a “new normal.” What were the particular qualities s/he possessed and how did those help you? What did s/he do (or not do) to help you?
2. Why do you want to be a Grief Companion?
3. Any questions or comments on this article?
When you are finished, SAVE this file and attach it to an email message to the Grief Companion Coordinator, Merry Smith – .
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