Good Roommates . . .
- talk to each other
- find some common interests
- set ground rules for the use of shared space/belongings
- have separate groups of friends and interests
- discuss issues or problems that arise in their room
- work together to solve these problems
Roommate Tips
- Roommates don’t have to be best friends. One of the most rewarding experiences at college is getting to know many different kinds of people.
- Roommates are individuals with likes and dislikes, priorities and expectations, just like you. Be respectful.
- Don’t make assumptions about using your roommates’ belongings. Be sure to check with them first and use their belongings only if it is okay with them.
- When something that your roommate does bothers you, be direct and respectful in bringing it up, and bring it up sooner, rather than later.
- If your roommate brings up a concern, don’t dismiss it or get angry. You both have a responsibility to respect each other and to try to resolve the situation reasonably and peacefully.
- Be considerate of your roommates if you are in a romantic relationship.
- If you need help or advice about dealing with difficult situations with your roommate contactthe other services listed in this brochure.
Resources
Housing and Dining Programs
Housing has student and professional staff available to help you with any roommate issues. The Resident Assistant (RA) on your floor is the best place to start, but there is also an RA on duty 24 hours a day. In addition, the Resident Director (RD) of your building is available to assist you. The RA on duty and the RD can be reached through the front desk.
American University’s Conflict Resolution Services
Conflict Resolution Services provides confidential assistance to students, staff, and faculty to help them to resolve interpersonal conflicts. Services include consultation, facilitating roommate agreements, mediation, and workshops on conflict management. To schedule an appointment, contact Conflict Resolution Services at 202-885-1313 or by email at . You may also stop by our office in Butler Pavilion, room 409, for more information.
CounselingCenter
The CounselingCenter provides confidential consultation to students with regard to any aspect of their life at college, including, but not limited to, roommate concerns. To schedule an appointment with a counselor, call 202-885-3500 or stop by MaryGraydonCenter, room 214.
Office of the Dean of Students
The Office of the Dean of Students can provide referrals to many services on campus and can help solve the problems that affect student satisfaction and success. Call 202-885-3300 or stop by Butler Pavilion, room 408.
Roommate Agreement Guide:
Creating a Successful
Roommate Agreement
At times, living with new people can be challenging. This guide is to help new roommates at AU to meet these challenges and to solve the problems that may develop from sharing a room in the residence halls.
Creating a Roommate Agreement is a two-part process.
Part one
- Identify your preferences – your likes and dislikes.
- Identify your expectations – what behavior you expect of yourself and others.
Part two
- Discuss your preferences and expectations with your roommate and listen to theirs.
- Cooperate with your roommates to complete the Roommate Agreement form.
If you have any questions or need help, please contact your RA, RD, or AU’s Conflict Resolution Services at 202-885-1313;
PART ONE – Personal Preferences© Conflict Resolution Services @ American University 2009
Directions: Complete this form to identify your likes, dislikes, expectations, and preferences. Check the appropriate boxes and fill in the blanks as necessary. Prioritize which issues are important and not important to you.
NOISE
NOISE BOTHERS ME WHEN:
___ I am sleeping. I usually sleep from ______to ______. I am a ____ morning / ____ night person.
___ I am studying ___ Other (explain) ______.
____ I’m relaxing in the room ____I’m on the phone ____I’m using my computer ____I’m hanging out with a friend.
Noise includes: ____ music ____talking ____computer use ____phone use ____all audible noise ____other: ______.
To me, noise issues are: ___ very important ___ somewhat important ___ not important.
In order for noise not to be a problem for me, I need: ______.
STUDY
I usually study:
___ in my room ____ in the library ___ in the residence hall lounge ___ in a friend’s room ____ other ______.
I usually study from _____ A.M./P.M. to_____ A.M./P.M. on weekdays and _____ A.M./P.M. to_____ A.M./P.M. on weekends.
I study better when: ___ it’s quiet ___ there’s music ____ I’m alone ____ I’m with a classmate ____ I’m with a group of friends.
To me, study issues are: ___ very important ___ somewhat important ___ not important.
In order to study I need: ______.
CLEANLINESS
I THINK MY ROOM IS CLEAN WHEN:
It’s cleaned every: ___ day ___ week ___ month ___ other ______.
To be clean the room must be (check all that apply): ___ vacuumed ___ dusted ___ belongings, books picked up ___ clothes put away ___ trash removed ___ refrigerator cleaned ___ desks cleaned ___ common areas cleaned ___ bathroom cleaned (as applicable).
I DON’T LIKE IT WHEN MY ROOM IS: __ untidy __ too neat __ overcrowded __ empty __ other ______.
Personal hygiene: I bathe every ___ day ___ few days ____ week.
To me, cleanliness issues are: ___ very important ___ somewhat important ___ not important.
In order for cleanliness I need: ______.
GUESTS
I think the best guest policies are:
___ unrestricted ___ restricted (restrictions): ______.
Overnight guests: __ allowed __ not allowed ___ allowed with restrictions: ______.
Does the gender of the guest matter? __ yes __ no if so, provide guidelines : ______
Does it matter if there is a romantic relationship? __ allowed __ not allowed ___ allowed with restrictions: ______
______.
If allowing overnight guests, what are the guidelines and parameters? ______
To me, guest visitation issues are: ___ very important ___ somewhat important ___ not important.
In order for guests not to be a problem for me, I need: ______.
TELEPHONE, COMPUTER, STEREO AND TV Use
Instructions for phone and other messages: ______.
Telephone can be used until:______A.M. / P.M. Computers can be used until ______A.M. / P.M.
Stereo (audio players) can be used until:______A.M. / P.M. TV can be used until ______A.M. / P.M.
To me, electronic equipment issues are: ___ very important ___ somewhat important ___ not important.
In order for phones, etc. not to be a problem for me, I need: ______.
Personal Property
I will / will not permit my roommates to borrow personal items as listed below.
Clothes __ allowed __ not allowed ___ allowed with restrictions: ______.
Books __ allowed __ not allowed ___ allowed with restrictions: ______.
Supplies __ allowed __ not allowed ___ allowed with restrictions: ______.
Food / Beverages __ allowed __ not allowed ___ allowed with restrictions: ______.
Electronic equipment (computers, TV, stereo, etc.) __ allowed __ not allowed ___ allowed with restrictions: ______.
Other belongings: ______.
Roommates must ask permission ___ each time ___ each item ___ we have agreed upon when to ask permission: ______.
To me, personal property issues are: ___ very important ___ somewhat important ___ not important
In order for property use not to be a problem for me, I need: ______.
Other Room Issues
______
PART TWO – Roommate Agreement© Conflict Resolution Services @ American University 2009
After completing Part One meet with your roommate(s) to discuss your preferences and listen to theirs. Prioritize the issues in order of importance. The last step is to discuss solutions to any problems that arise and write them down in this roommate agreement. A roommate agreement is a document that outlines ground rules for how you and your roommates are going to live in the room that you share. It identifies specific issues or problems (for example, use of personal belongings, guest policies, etc.) that you need to work out in order to manage your living space.
Roommate Agreement Writing Tips: *Be specific. *Keep it simple. *Be realistic.*Be positive.
*Seek balance. *Brainstorm options and solutions.*Choose options that best resolve issues.
Directions: Discuss each issue with your roommate(s) and develop mutually agreeable guidelines for how these issues will be handled in your room.
NOISE
We agree that the room will have quiet hours: Sunday-Thursday: _____ A.M./P.M. to_____ A.M./P.M.
Friday and Saturday: _____ A.M./P.M. to_____ A.M./P.M. Quiet hours include: (use of computers, phone, etc.)______
______
STUDY
We agree that the room will have the following guidelines for studying: ______
CLEANLINESS
We agree that the room will be cleaned every: ___ day ___ week ___ month ___ other ______
I (name) ______agree to do ______when: ______
I (name) ______agree to do ______when: ______
I (name) ______agree to do ______when: ______
Cleaning will include: ___ vacuuming ___ dusting ___ belongings, books picked up __ clothes put away ___ trash removed ___ refrigerator cleaned ___ desks cleaned ___ common areas cleaned ___ bathroom cleaned (as applicable) other: ______
GUESTS
___ unrestricted ___ restricted (restrictions): ______
Overnight guests: __ allowed __ not allowed ___ allowed with restrictions: ______
Does the gender of the guest matter? __ yes __ no if so, provide guidelines : ______
Does it matter if there is a romantic relationship? __ allowed __ not allowed ___ allowed with restrictions: ______
______
TELEPHONE, COMPUTER, STEREO AND TV Use
Instructions for phone and other messages: ______
Electronic equipment included in quiet hours (as above) ___ telephone ___ computer ___ TV ___ stereo / audio other: ______
Personal Property
We have agreed to the following guidelines for borrowing personal property:
Clothes __ allowed __ not allowed ___ allowed with restrictions: ______
Books __ allowed __ not allowed ___ allowed with restrictions: ______
Supplies __ allowed __ not allowed ___ allowed with restrictions: ______
Food / Beverages __ allowed __ not allowed ___ allowed with restrictions: ______
Electronic equipment (computers, TV, stereo, etc.) __ allowed __ not allowed ___ allowed with restrictions: ______
Other belongings: ______
Roommates must ask permission ___ each time ___ each item ___ we have agreed upon when to ask permission: ______
Other Issues
______
______
I agree to abide by this agreement. I understand that if I want to change or revise this agreement, I must re-negotiate with my roommates.
I understand that my RA / RD or Conflict Resolution Services are available to facilitate the re-negotiation.
NAME:______SIGNATURE:______DATE: ______
NAME:______SIGNATURE:______DATE: ______
NAME:______SIGNATURE:______DATE: ______
RESIDENCE HALL ______ROOM ______
If this agreement has been facilitated:
RA / RD: ______Conflict Resolution Services: ______DATE: _____