FWS Sub LessonLast Name, First ______
Proofreading (Due Fri, 12/13)Date ______Pd ______/15pts
Directions: Read the edited text below.
A) Name + correct Dirty Dozen errors (draw a box around these) (i.e. Parall, S-V, V-T, WW, and adj-adv)
B) Fix erroneous/missing punctuation (and draw a circle around these) 4errors—include any relevant DD labels
C) Resurrect weak, vague, or lifeless verbs + adjectives (choose fromthe underlined words)
D) Mark places where the writer might start a new paragraph (label with a // or a ) at least 4 possible locations
E) Identify figures of speech (place an asterisk next to them + name them)
F) Generate an attention-grabbing title
Title: ______
Not long, after I graduated college, my mother got me out of bed so that I could get a “magic straight perm.” It was like your Writing Seminar teachergiving you a ten-page epistle to proofread first thing in the morning- you’re a bit clueless and powerless, but you muster up what little energy you haveand hope the unknown won’t turn out to be too painful. The transformation ended up taking almost six hours and hundreds of miles of Saran Wrap because of my hair’s volume, coarse texture, and how long it was. The end result: a thin layer of ebony silk plastered to my head… and a sore neck. For the rest of the day, I absentmindedly ran my fingers through my hair, amazed that it felt so different, it felt like someone else’s hair, more smoother than my old hair. Three days later, I was riding the F train with my friend Jenn seated to my right, listening to her talk about homunculi and automatons like she usually would. I waspretending to listen nodding and adding the occasional “mm-hmm”, when really, I was combing my hair and thinking, “Wow, this is so weird! I feel like this is someone else’s hair!” That’s when a women seated to the left of me, stood up abrupt, gave me a dirty look, and moved to the opposite end of the car. Jenn stopped mid-sentence and asked, “What’s with her?” I mumbled, “I… think it was because I was playing with her… hair.” “What?!!” she screamed. Apparently, the reason why my hair felt particularly alien to me that day was because it wasn’t my hair I’d been ceaselessly caressing for almost ten-fifteen minutes. In my post perm haze, I was oblivious of the fact that I’d been running my fingers through a total stranger’s hair. Obviously this will have upset her and thankfully she decided not to notify the authorities. My friend, on the other hand, relished in my humiliation and haveonly just recently stopped reminding me of one of my less-than-shining moments.