Filtering Your Inner Critic

Filtering Your Inner Critic

We've talked about what to do to counter your Inner Critic Thoughts when they're unrealistic and unhelpful.

But what should you do when it seems like your Inner Critic might have a helpful point?

One aspect of managing Inner Critic Thoughts that's often overlooked is that these thoughts are part of your survival instinct. They're negative and often get warped into unrealistic, unhelpful and even mean thoughts, but, underneath all that, their role is to protect you.

So sometimes there's a benefit to these thoughts ...if we can filter out all the negativity and find a message underneath that's useful for us to hear.

Here' are some ways that Inner Critic Thoughts can have a helpful message underneath...

COMMON INNER CRITIC THOUGHTS / USEFUL LESSONS UNDERNEATH THE NEGATIVITY
"You're stupid" / "I made a mistake and need to pay more attention next time." OR " It would be good to spend some time digging into this subject a bit more. I have more to learn."
"You can't do it" / "I need to practice this more until I feel fully comfortable." OR "I'm going to give this my best shot and see how I go. You never know until you try."
"You're not good enough" / "If I really want to do this, I might have to invest more time in building my skills in this area."
"There's something wrong with you" / "It'd be worth taking some time to see if there's something I can do to improve this situation."
"You're different from other people" / "Getting clear on my strengths and what I have to offer will help me feel more comfortable with my uniqueness."

Filtering out the negatives of your Inner Critic Thoughts and looking for any helpful messagesunderneath is a powerful way to soothe the tone of your Inner Critic self talk and use your Inner Critic to your benefit.

EXERCISE

This is a quick exercise to highlight that you've probably used this process before, in listening to other people.

a/ Try to remember a conversation you've had in the past with someone who has been feeling negative for some reason. They may have been frustrated, upset with someone, or feeling down about themselves. They've been talking to you for a while and suddenly you realise that they've missed a key point in the situation. They've had a blind spot in how they were looking at the situation - and you have noticed it.

Write down some key points about the situation here, just to help you remember the details.If you've never had a conversation like that, imagine one with a close friend.

b/ Then consider, how did you notice that key point underneath all the negative commentary? What did you do?

It may be that you listened hard and were able to separate fact from emotion and opinion. You were probably also being objective about the situation. By being able to step back from the thoughts and emotions your friend was expressing, you saw the issues underneath.

It's the same process for listening to your Inner Critic and identifying if there's a helpfulmessage underneath all the negativity.

Notice that you are having Inner Critic Thoughts, then
Take a step back from those thoughts, and
Ask... What's the useful message here, underneath all the negativity?

Filtering out your Inner Critic's negativity to find the useful messages underneath can help to make your Inner Critic work for you rather than against you.

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