Hansa’s Story
February 2008 and a routine breast screening appointment, nothing out of the ordinary, this day didn’t seem any different to any other day, but this day was the day when a routine appointment could and probably was responsible for saving my life.
I had had the mammogram, and to be honest hadn’t thought anything else about it, then 4 weeks later I got a letter asking me to go back for another test and a biopsy. Straight away I panicked, I felt quite isolated, I’m separated from my husband and my daughter was working in China, I felt nervous and upset who would go with me, I didn’t think I would be able to go alone.
A good friend offered to come along, the biopsy didn’t hurt really but I knew the weeks wait would be hard, I didn’t sleep much and worried about what they would tell me at the results meeting.
‘Its negative’, but the great news was quickly followed by‘but were not happy with the last biopsy we’re worried that the sample wasn’t taken from the right place, we need to take another’. What does that mean why would they have to do it again, I felt confused and a little emotional if the result was negative what made them think they needed to do another test, maybe they knew something that they weren’t telling me? This time a male doctor came in to do the test, it really hurt, I sat up and felt sick, I reached for pain killers and asked for a glass of water, I couldn’t seem to walk straight, my mind was swirling with possibilities, thank goodness my friend was with me, I’m not sure I would have got home safely without her. The week that followed was hard, I didn’t sleep too well, and just worried about what the results would be.
When I returned to the hospital, I was showed to a quiet comfortable looking room and as I looked round I noticed a box of tissues, my stomach turned, this didn’t feel right, I could sense bad news. In came the surgeon and the nurse ‘I’m sorry, it’s positive’. the surgeon was very frank and matter of fact, I remember him congratulating me for attending the original appointment he told me that so many women didn’t turn up for their routine appointments, then said they would be operating within 3 weeks, then you’ll have radiotherapy. Everything seemed unreal and very scary, I’m not sure how much of what he said sank in.
Mid April 08 – lumpectomy, lump removed from my breast along with 7 lymph nodes, and a great big list of do’s and don’ts, no shaving your arm pits, no perfume or deodorant, no lifting, no cleaning, wear this support sleeve etc etc, I felt drained.
End of April 08 – results, all clear they had cut out all of the cancer, I felt relief till I got chatting to the lady in the next bed, her story sounded similar to mine till she found more lumps later on in the year, now she was in for a mastectomy, what if that happens to me?
End of May, radiotherapy started, I remember my first appointment at Christie, I was so scared and nervous, I was made to lie on a bed for an assessment, the nurses had to leave the room like they do when you have an x ray. Machinery was moving and whirring all around me, the staff ask if I’m alright but I’m not, I’m petrified, what’s going to happen to me. I didn’t start the treatment till the day after, it felt a bit relentless after that, 15 consecutive days of treatment.
In the months that followed I was to have physio, swellings and a tiredness id never experienced before, just walking to the end of the street seemed to wipe my energy, yet sleep didn’t come easy,other conditions that I had became irritated by the radiotherapy.
Id had 3 months off work before I was able to return, my friends and family were brilliant, I’m not sure how I would have got through it without them, my daughter flew back from China to be with me, even my x husband was there when I needed him, work were so understanding and friends were falling over themselves to help me. I felt very lucky to have them all, gifts could never have thanked them enough, I realised how valuable my friends are to me.
I’m far more aware of myself now, I cant say that I do self checks as often as I should but I do look out for changes and in Jan of this year I found myself back at the doctors with another lump, luckily the lump had been caused by scar tissue and fluid, I cant tell you how relieved I felt.
This whole ordeal has made me look at life in a different way, I think it’s made me stronger and more confident, and far more aware of my own health, but when I started to share my experience with people I was shocked by some of the responses I got, what does it take to make people listen! It makes me feel so frustrated why people don’t take advantage of the screening available to us in this country.
Not too long ago I couldn’t talk to anyone about my experiences now I tell anyone and everyone and encourage them to attend the appointments that get sent through, not just for breast but for cervical screening too.
Last week I had my 12 month check up and all was fine, I can’t tell you how great that news was to hear, but I’m still passionate about making other women aware of the benefits of screening, it could and probably did save my life!
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