Family History for Living Families

In 1983 I was alarmed when both Newsweek and U.S. News and World Report looked ahead 50 years and predicted a plague for families. Perhaps me and the other ‘boomers’ would even see the death of families as known and loved by the ‘greatest generation’. I was beginning to realize that my parents had instilled in me a belief that family history might actually save living families. In 1985 in a time of my own dread I wrote what I believed:

“How tragic it is that family ties to our kin, communities, and past generations have been confused or severed in modern times. Family units are casually formed and easily ended. Children are prohibited or scorned, the elderly are neglected. In my opinion, we are becoming self-centered and isolated individuals”.

As much as I can envision who I am though the history of family ancestors, I have a heartfelt conviction that personal, visual, oral, and touchable family history can heal hearts more than any medication or related therapy. Both creating and preserving the ordinary and everyday story of our own family remains the foundation of our family unit and in the future may be the most treasured heirlooms of all.

That’s why we now have GenealogyWise groups such as Personal History, Fanfare For Ordinary Ancestors, Preservation of Family Treasures, Quizzes for Genealogy & History, and Favorite Films For Genealogists. To foster quality we have added important locality groups and some for key record sources, as well as others such as Serious Queries which lists basic ‘research principles’.

Now, while the tantalizing appeal of internet name gathering can be a tool for beginning a genealogy, this frequently impersonal instant-satisfaction, punch-the-keyboard, ‘microwave’ genealogy is generally unverified and without either historical context or personal feelings. I also understand that the government is not keeping any real history of my family or my generation, despite the myths about the census and other federal databases.

Some of my 1980s nightmares continued:

“…Will our political, ecological, educational, and moral crises destroy the family as humanists predict? How ironic that while genealogy benefits from the high tech era, the same electronic age is a contributing cause to a rootless generation. The fascinating activity of genealogy, alone, is not the cure for disjointed families in our society.”

The dangerous addictions to computers and games and virtual relationships are well documented from the USA to China. Nevertheless, I believe more than ever that there is no greater miracle than the changing of the human heart. Rather than trash mementoes of my family’s tale, I needed to celebrate them in a spirit of forgiveness. Today I can continue to teach my children, even as they begin to start their own families and their own family stories, that we need not divorce our families from their history, nor the history of their own family from the ‘here, there and everywhere’ story of their lives. That critical change can begin by turning a heart with a loving part of living family history. Listen to that laugh! Cherish that smile.

The hope for this miracle is based on the principle that our personal comings and goings -when dropped as a distinct pebble in the pond of our households, neighborhoods, communities- will create ripples in every direction. How do we heal a dysfunctional family? I believe we need to keep a history of our own living ever-changing families.

For most people geenealogy is a curious word, a nine letter word you can't spell or pronounce. Is it jeneeology or geeneallogy? As I’ve posted elsewhere, it is confused with geology or gynecology or gerontology.

Let us say that Genealogy is the making of a human pedigree through the linkage of basic data found in records with names, dates, and places. It is linking names together to help you find out who you are in the family of man. The number of one's ancestors and descendants has no end, and, as one humanities professor succinctly stated, genealogy gives "hope for continuation into the future, hope for a temporal type of immortality".

Genealogy is not a fad and is much more than a hobby for many. Now it is experiencing a revolution due to technologies and cultures such as social networking. Doing actual genealogy is a complicated, taxing, and highly personal experience. Doing genealogy is like asking "which haystack on which farm is my needle in?". If you like farms and hay then genealogy is an activity that can become a lifelong occupation. In discovering long lists of names, the rewards of genealogy include a sense of gratitude for the heritage that can be assumed through the mere accumulation of many names from many years. Few Americans, however, can claim rights to a Family Crest or Coat of Arms (as we’ve discussed elsewhere). Genealogists normally do not look beyond the names on a family tree chart to learn about the faces and feelings of the people.

Genealogy is only a collection of names and dates that are linked together on a piece of paper or in a computer. I think that most genealogy is not fun at all. In fact, genealogy can be tedious, expensive, time consuming, and boring! Doing actual research is a challenge, but looking at a book or website with nothing but names and dates gives me no thrills or chills. A genealogy pedigree tells me I am of South African descent but nothing about South Africa or being South African! And the DNA tests a relative paid for a few years ago were completely bogus; a company is unethical when they charge fees for a pedigree and DNA I voluntarily contributed to an early non-profit organization.

If you don't write your own story, it might be written by someone else, but then it will be a guesswork history and not a meaningful family history. The title of a history of Polish Americans speaks for the need for going beyond genealogy into biographical and historical realms. It was titled: And My Children Did Not Know Me.

Do you know where your ancestors are? It’s 2009.