EXPOSITORY ESSAY - SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT[n1]-

Student details:

Name ...... Class M...... Number......

Weebly ID ...... Mobile number…………………………………………..

Email ...... Published file name Expository_Science_Formative(28)

Table of Contents

1.TABLE OF CONTENTS

2. FORMATIVE REQUIREMENTS COVER

3. BRAINSTORM / RESEARCH(ideas, reference paper, mind-map)

4. EXAMPLE OF PROJECT (cut/paste from reference paper.)

5. GRAPHIC ORGANIZER (flow chart)

6. ESSAY MAP

7. ORIGINAL DRAFT: (Name of peer who revised)

8. REVISED DRAFT: (Name of peer who edited)

9. PUBLISHED WORK- ORIGINAL

10. RUBRIC(self graded)

11. PUBLISHED WORK - TEACHER’S COMMENTS

Publishing Checklist

PREVIEW PUBLISHED ON HOMEPAGE

 COMMENTS POSTED TO LEARNING GROUP’S BLOGS

 REFERENCES AND CITING COMPLETE

Comments:

Friday 26th November, 2010 Teacher: Neville

Expository Essay- Science Fair Project.(One page essay)

Students are expected to explain the processof a Science Fair Project,

aspublished in Teaching ESOL Through Science Fair Experiments, by Judie Haynes.

StructureExpository Essay, published on student’sweblog(including all prewriting).

ProcedureStudents log on to class weblog/ formative page and download the following files: EXPOSITORY SCIENCE FORMATIVE SCIENCE PROJECT

The EXPOSITORY SCIENCE FORMATIVE file should be immediately published onto the student’s weblog.

The above files contain all the information needed to complete this exercise.

Students’ production

By Wednesday 8th December, 2010, students will have completed their work.

Students are required to publish updates of their file,progressively.

Teacher will then comment on individual student’s 9. PUBLISHED WORK- ORIGINAL and email it to them forpasting to the final page of their file;11.PUBLISHED WORK - TEACHER’S COMMENTS

Objectives

Students will display knowledge of the elements of an Expository Essay by explaining the process, in logical order, for a science fair experiment.

PROJECT EXAMPLE[n2]

Water Taste Test

Question

Do various kinds of water really taste different?

Hypothesis

I think people can taste the difference and they will like bottled water most.

Materials

- Paper cup

- Deer Park water

- Tap water

- Poland Spring water

- Shop Rite spring water

- Distilled water

Procedure

1. Put the various kinds of water in the same type of bottle so the person doesn’t know

which water they are drinking.

2. Label each bottle with numbers 1~5.

3. Put each kind of water in a cup.

4. Call the participant and ask them to drink each different water. They have to choose

“Which water they think is the Best.”

Results

12 participants picked “Deer Park”.

8 participants picked “Shop Rite Spring Water”

5 participants picked “Tap water”

3 participants picked “Poland Spring water”

1 participant picked “Distilled water.

Conclusion

I brought 4 different kinds of water. My results show that everyone liked bottled

water better. The three kinds of bottled water come from different places in the United

States. The different locations make the taste of each kind different. The results of my

experiment show that people can taste the difference.

Deer Park's natural spring is located 3,000 ft. above sea level in the AppalachianMountains in Deer Park, Maryland. The spring water comes up to the earth's surface andbubbles up through white sand. This gives the water a fresh taste. Poland Spring NaturalSpring Water comes from Maine. It has fewer minerals than any spring water. Lowmineral content lets the natural taste of the water come through. Shop Rite Spring Watercomes from Wissahicken Springs in Pennsylvania.

I bought the distilled water in the Shop Rite. It doesn't have minerals in it.

Distilled water doesn't have much taste. The tap water comes from Hackensack Water

Company. Hardly anyone likes the tap water.

BRAINSTORMING, RESEARCH, [n3]MIND-MAP

GRAPHIC ORGANIZER[n4]

ESSAY MAP[n5]

ORIGINAL DRAFT[n6]

Water Taste Test

Have you ever think(thought=V3) that the taste of water from different sources will be also different too (replaced by also )? That is because of fresh watercan take up the dust and gases from the air, andorganicmatter from the roofs over which it is collected. We can proof this fact by scientific method. I’m going to explain how to do ,fFrom the first step to the end.

First, we have to consider thatwhat we are interesting in and going to do. In this case, we will start with the question “ do various kinds of water really taste different?”

Second, we have to define the hypothesislead(leading) to the experiment. In this case, I assume that I think people can taste the difference and they will like bottled water most.

After that, we should(no”should”) havetolisted(list) all of the(no “ of the”) materials that the experiment(no”that the experiment) needed. In(no”in”) For this experiment,we need :paper cup, Deer Park water, tap water, Poland Spring water, Shop Rite Spring water and distilled water.

Then we should (no”should”) havetothought (think) about the variable which is also important factors(factor) that can make the experiment succeed or fail. The variable in this experiment is the number of people choosing a kind of water sample.

Now, it’s time to start the experiment. You should(no”should”) have to carefully followed(follow) the procedures step by step. At first, put(pour) the various kinds of water into the same type of bottle(bottles) so the person doesn’t know which water they are drinking. Second, label each bottle with numbers 1-5respectively. Third,put(pour) each kind of water into a cup,thenCall(Ask)the(all)participant(participants) to ask(no”ask”)them to(no”them to”) drink eachcup of different water.

Finally (no “Now”),ask all of them to choose “Which water they think(no”think”) like most?”:no 1,no.2,no.3,no4 or no.5 ?

After the experiment, the result has to be shownis now showing(no” is now showing”) in order to reply our question“do various kinds of water really taste different?”according tofrom( no”from”) the hypothesis .We noticed that: 12 participants choosedpicked(no”picked”) Deer Park water,

8 participants choosedpicked(no”picked”) Shop Rite Spring Water,

5 participants choosedpicked(no”picked”) tap water,

3 participants choosedpicked(no”picked”) Poland Spring water, and

1 participant choosedpicked(no”picked”) distilled water.

Before drawing(no “drawing”)the(no”the) conclusion, the presentation is needed to show how toperformmake(no”make”) the experimentand express the results.Flow chart and graph or table are recommended to present in order to easily understandand the experimentthe result.The graphs or the tables is easy to present and explain the experiment.(no” the result. The graphs or the tables is easy to present and explain the experiment”)

From the obtained resultsAccording to the result(no”According to the result”), I conclude(concluded) that ‘the water fromdifferent locations make also the taste of each kind different(difference). The results of my experiment show that people can taste the difference and they like bottled water better.

REVISED DRAFT[n7]

Water Taste Test

Have you ever thought that the taste of water from different sources will be also different? That is because of fresh watercan take up the dust and gases from the air, andorganicmatter from the roofs over which it is collected. We can proof this fact by scientific method. I’m going to explain how to do,from the first step to the end.

First, we have to consider that what we are interesting in and going to do. In this case, we will start with the question “ do various kinds of water really taste different?”

Second, we have to define the hypothesis leading to the experiment. In this case, I assume that I think people can taste the difference and they will like bottled water most.

After that, we have to list all materials needed. For this experiment, we need : paper cup, Deer Park water, tap water, Poland Spring water, Shop Rite Spring water and distilled water.

Then we have to think about the variable which is also important factor that can make the experiment succeed or fail. The variable in this experiment is the number of people choosing a kind of water sample.

Now, it’s time to start the experiment. You have to carefully follow the procedures step by step. At first, pour the various kinds of water into the same type of bottles so the person doesn’t know which water they are drinking. Second, label each bottle with numbers 1-5 respectively. Third, pour each kind of water into a cup, then Ask(“ask” not capital letter) all participants to drink each cup of different water.

Finally , ask all of them to choose “Which water they like most?”:no 1,no.2,no.3,no4 or no.5 ?

After the experiment, the result has to be shown in order to reply our question “do various kinds of water really taste different?” according to the hypothesis. We noticed that: 12 participantschoosed (must be chose) Deer Park water,

8 participants choosed(must be chose)Shop Rite Spring Water,

5 participants choosed(must be chose)tap water,

3 participants choosed(must be chose)Poland Spring water, and

1 participant choosed(must be chose)distilled water.

Before conclusion, the presentation is needed to show how to perform the experiment and express the results. Flow chart and graph or table are recommended to present in order to easily understandand the experiment the result. The graphs or the tables is easy to present and explain the experiment.

From the obtained results According to the result, I concluded that the water from different locations make also the taste of each kind difference. The results of my experiment show that people can taste the difference and they like bottled water better.

[n8]

Have you ever thought that the taste of water from different sources will be also different? That is because of fresh watercan take up the dust and gases from the air, andorganicmatter from the roofs over which it is collected. We can proof this fact by scientific method. I’m going to explain how to do ,from the first step to the end.

First, we have to consider that what we are interesting in and going to do. In this case, we will start with the question “ do various kinds of water really taste different?”

Second, we have to define the hypothesis leading to the experiment. In this case, I assume that I think people can taste the difference and they will like bottled water most.

After that, we have to list all materials needed. For this experiment, we need : paper cup, Deer Park water, tap water, Poland Spring water, Shop Rite Spring water and distilled water.

Then we have to think about the variable which is also important factor that can make the experiment succeed or fail. The variable in this experiment is the number of people choosing a kind of water sample.

Now, it’s time to start the experiment. You have to carefully follow the procedures step by step. At first, pour the various kinds of water into the same type of bottles so the person doesn’t know which water they are drinking. Second, label each bottle with numbers 1-5 respectively. Third, pour each kind of water into a cup, then ask all participants to drink each cup of different water.

Finally , ask all of them to choose “Which water they like most?”:no 1,no.2,no.3,no4 or no.5 ?

After t[n9]he experiment, the result has to be shown in order to reply our question “do various kinds of water really taste different?” according to the hypothesis. We noticed that: 12 participants chose Deer Park water,

8 participants chose Shop Rite Spring Water,

5 participants chose tap water,

3 participants chose Poland Spring water, and

1 participant chose distilled water.

Before conclusion, the presentation is needed to show how to perform the experiment and express the results. Flow chart and graph or table are recommended to present in order to easily understand and the experiment the result. The graphs or the tables is easy to present and explain the experiment.

From the obtained results According to the result, I concluded that the water from different locations make also the taste of each kind difference. The results of my experiment show that people can taste the difference and they like bottled water better.[n10]

Expository- Science Fair[n11]

Objective / Emerging 1 / Developing 2 / Accomplished3 / Exemplary 4 / Score
PUBLISHING
(Finished look) / The writing demonstrates little or no attention to visual presentation elements and is uninviting to the reader. / Limited attention to visual presentation is demonstrated. The writing creates low desire to be read. Reflects many “lost opportunities”. . / Attention to visual presentation elements is strongly exhibited with only a few minor “lost opportunities” / Attention to visual presentation elements is such that the writing has an immediate impact and is highly inviting to the reader.
Uniform spacing / 3
Appropriate use of font style, sizes and colors. / 3
Appealing use of white space / 2
Effective integration of text and illustrations, photos, charts, graphs, maps and tables. / No penalty / 4
Skillful and tasteful use of colors in layout. / 3
The blog reflects the personality of the writer. / 3
EXPOSITORY ESSAY ELEMENTS
Gives facts. Explains. Steps in a process. Present ideas in logical order, correct sequence. / Writing does not display elements of an Expository Essay / Contains all elements but does not meet criteria in one or more / All elements are present and complete. / Expository Structure exceeds requirement / 3
ESSAY STRUCTURE
INTRO- contains strong Purpose of Writing.
PARAGRAPHS-Topic sentence, plus supporting ideas and examples. Transitional words used.
CONCLUSION- links back to P.O.W. / Basic Structure is incomplete. Display little structure. / Structure is generally evident and mostly correct / Structure is complete / Structure exceeds standards and enhances the writing / 2

[n1]

Due to late submission, my comments have been reduced.

[n2]

Should all be on one page.

[n3]

Cite sources on examples, this page and publishing.

Keep it short and simple…not too much text.

[n4]

The stages in the process should be identified and typed in BOLD .eg. Materials

Refer student http:31671.weebly.com

[n5]

Missing a strong Purpose Of Writing.

I will explain the process of a scientific experiment, in which we test the taste of water.

Conclusion is weak as you needed to refer back to the P.O.W. and make a point.

Lots of text.

[n6]

Original Draft is where you review Content Ideas and Structure of your essay.

Have your learning group review it for you.

Name peer.

[n7]

Here you edit Punctuation, Grammar, Capital Letters and Spelling.

Once again, your learning group can assist.

[n8]

Lots of white space down the right hand side of the page.

No citing of references at bottom of the page.

[n9]

Good use of transition words in general.

Don’t use the same ones twice if you can avoid it.

[n10]

This is the conclusion of the experiment. NOT the Conclusion of your essay.

Use the prompts in the Essay Map.

[n11]

You must self grade rubrics.

23 out of 32 points = 6 points

Use the prompts in the Essay Map.

Watch your publishing.