Setting the Course: Beginning the Journey of
Personal and Professional Development
INO Graduate Colloquium
INO Graduate Degree Proposal
Dr. Annette Van Dyke & Dr. Eric Hadley-Ives
[INO Student Name Deleted]
January 10, 2006
TABLE OF CONTENTS
AUTOBIOGRAPHY ...... page 3GOALS STATEMENT ...... page 16PHILOSOPHY OF EDUCATION ...... page 19
LEARNING NEEDS STATEMENT ...... page 23
NARRATIVE CURRICULUM ...... page 26INVENTORY OF LEARNING RESOURCES ...... page 32INO COMMITTEE MEMBERS ...... page 41INO DEGREE PROPOSAL CONTRACT ...... page 42AUTOBIOGRAPHY
The light slowly creeps up the stairs to my bedroom. I can hear the scurrying of my mother’s feet downstairs on our kitchen’s cold linoleum floor. The smells of breakfast fill the air and is the only thing enticing me from leaving my nocturnal slumber. I lift my head slowly from the pillow only to feel the cool breeze coming from the drafty windows. The internal debate begins within me, contemplating the minimum amount of time I need to get ready for school. Just then my mother’s voice reigns out with a final warning for me to get out of bed.
Concession is my only option. I move from underneath the warmth of my blankets and again feel the shock of the cool air as it touches my skin. I quickly swing off the top of my bunk bed and land feet first on my bedroom’s scratchy yellow carpet. As I wipe the sleep from my eyes, I examine the room and see the remains of what my brothers left behind, as they were getting ready to start their day. I gather my clothes neatly folded in my dresser that my mom had placed there the night before. I strain to match the color of my shirt and pants, as I do not have the energy to walk across the room to the light switch and turn on the light. There is no delaying the inevitable and I carefully begin the dreaded decent downstairs. As I reach the bottom of the stairs my mother, the matriarch of our family, appears from behind the refrigerator door with a loving and sincere, “Good morning.” Seeing the smile upon her face and the hearing the warmth of her voice, quickly remove any apprehension of starting another day and give me a renewed sense of energy and vigor.
This was the typical start to most of my days as a child. My childhood is filled with an abundance of similar moments of expressions of love that exuded from our family’s small, cramped three-bedroom home. These memories will be etched in my mind forever as a continued reminder of the blessings God has bestowed upon me. Our family might have enjoyed the extra room and comforts of a larger home, but the small space we shared never seemed to be a major problem. My parents small stature, mother standing at 4’11” and my father a mere 5’6”, were more than compensated for by the great size of their hearts and unconditional love for their family. I have a great amount of love and respect for my siblings and parents. They always provided me with endless spiritual, emotional, physical and financial support.
My life is overflowing with feelings of joy, love, happiness, contentment, pain, sorrow, loss and resentment. These occurrences and expressions in my life assisted in molding and shaping me. But, how do these experiences affect the unfolding of our life story? How does one tell his story? What is my story? Who am I? How can I relate my inner feelings about my life to others?
After several free-writing sessions, it became abundantly clear to me that the main focus and theme of my “story” centered on two distinct words, “faith” and “family”. Even reflecting back on my childhood over twenty years later, these words stand out among the rest, as the dominating terms that would best describe my life. These components assisted me in my transition from the boy I was, into the man I am, and continue to motivate me to higher standards in the man I want to become. I am nothing without my faith and family, a boat without a Captain floating aimless in the vast blue ocean with no set course or destination. My life has been given purpose because of the strength of my faith and constant encouragement of my family. My story would be remiss without these concepts as the center of my narrative.
My family’s emphasis on the importance of faith was rooted in my mother’s strict Baptist background and my father’s life as the son of a Nazarene minister. We were encouraged to put Christ first in our lives and prioritize the purpose of our lives by the biblical principles we implemented in our family. More important than Christian words and ideals, were the personal reflections of my parent’s beliefs in their decisions and daily interactions with others. The stringent ethical and moral standards that my parents held themselves to were an outstanding example to me. They never stressed the need to acquire riches and wealth from life but encouraged us to prioritize the “riches” we received from our Christian faith. Many times during my childhood, and even today as an adult, I feel great pride, admiration and respect for the integrity and character they have displayed during the most critical times in life.
Many of my intellectual pursuits and desire to continue my education and obtain a graduate degree are derived from the influence of my family. I realized early on during my childhood, the importance of striving to enrich one’s life with an abundance of educational and learning opportunities. My parents stressed the importance of contemplating and understanding that thoughts and perspectives of others before developing an opinion on their viewpoints. Their input instilled in me the desire to continue my search for personal development and furthering my education to better understand those I encounter in my personal and professional life. I have adopted their perspectives now in my life and hope the courses that I am enrolled in at UIS will enhance my knowledge base and enlighten me to consider other individual’s beliefs, which will broaden my personal identity and development.
Several of my initial memories of my childhood are probably typical to most white, middleclass, Anglo-Saxon, Christian, American families. I grew up in a modest home in the quaint blue-collar city of Danville, Illinois. Like many families, my father took on the role of sole financial provider and my mother was a homemaker. There were four children in our family. I have two older brothers and a younger sister. My older brothers were both very quiet and more reserved than me. Even today, I have difficulty relating to my brothers. We have different interests and few similarities in the lives we are currently leading. Conversely, my sister and I have a much closer relationship. We have a solid friendship with each other, and comparable compulsion to continue the self-actualization process to reach individual objectives through new and exciting adventures. Her continual love, respect, support and advice have assisted me with many decisions and through life’s impediments.
Being the third child in our family was a contributing factor to the development and creation of my personality =traits. As the third child, I sometimes felt lost in the shuffle of life. I often acted out to gain attention from my family, teachers and peers. My intentions were seldom destructive or malicious, but more of an inquisitive young boy searching for his place in the world. My teachers seemed to love me one day and hate me the next depending on the success of my charm. I never intended on being disrespectful to my elders, but wanted to make sure they remembered me and that I had not missed an opportunity to leave a lasting impression.
Since my mother stayed home with us, we sometimes had to do without to adhere to our strict budget. Reflecting on this time, I am comforted by the simplicity of our lives and the lack of desires for anything but the necessities in life. I have a great amount of admiration for the sacrifices that my parents made to allow my mother to stay home with us. I know that I would not be the father I am today if not for the emotional and physical demonstration of “family” that my parents granted us. However, there were times when our lack of financial means affected my personal viewpoints of myself.
One of the most vivid memories that represented our monetary difficulties occurred on a night in my hometown when our school district referendum was not approved. My father was one of the youngest elementary school principals in the district and the effect of this referendum denial could have meant his dismissal. This was the first time I had ever witnessed real fear and apprehension in my parent’s faces. I could tell that they did not know how they were going to manage this potential blow to our family. Many of the teachers that worked with my father came over to our house that evening to try and console him, which added to my discomfort. Their presence in our home was a symbolic reminder of the severity of the situation. From this point in my childhood, I never felt the same unconditional feeling of sanctuary. Although my father did not lose his job, I never forgot about the impact that this experience left on me regarding the uncertainties in life.
Adolescence is a turbulent time for any youth and mine was no different. I would like to write that I quickly formed my own identity and proudly demonstrated it to all my friends and family. Unfortunately this was not the case; I recall my internal disparity for being too cowardly to stand up for who I was and what I believed. I felt it was more important to grasp onto the friendships that I had formed many years earlier, many of whom were now seen as the “in crowd” at our local high school. With the fragility of my own sense of self, I knew I could not handle the ridicule of others if I was somehow seen as different or an outsider. I clung tightly to these friendships as though somehow through my association with them, I was accepted, and I did not dare disrupt this parasitic relationship.
During this time period, material possessions became more important to me. I began to worry about the reaction my peers would have if they knew about some of our financial burdens. Many of my initial struggles and feelings of embarrassment often involved an old, rusted, royal blue 1967 Ford Falcon that my mother drove. Sometimes she would take us to school in this shell of an automobile and I can still feel the anomic stress as we pulled up to the school building. What would my friends think of me if they knew that this old pile of rust belonged to my family? None of my friends were considerably wealthy, but I knew that my family could not afford many of the material possessions they took for granted. When my friends would discuss the gifts they received or the vacations they were taking I felt like a second-class citizen. The delicateness of friendships in early adolescence hinged on social and economic standards and I knew mine was suspect.
My entire adolescence was shrouded with internal discontent and struggles to accept myself and honestly reveal my identity to others. However, like so many times in life, God placed a new person in my life to help me through my personal downward spiral. This new face in my life would forever change the young man who I was and the direction I was heading. Her name was [Name deleted] and her face was more striking than any that I had seen before. Her dark black hair perfectly complimented her olive complexion and her round, chestnut brown eyes, which quickly grabbed the attention of anyone she met. The only problem was that she had dated one of my best friends and I did not want to create a rift in our friendship. But after slight consideration, I threw caution to the wind and began my pursuit of this beautiful young woman. Fortunately, she responded to my advancements and we began our long journey together, which has taken us through high school, college, marriage and parenthood.
[Name deleted] is my first and only “true love” and the only person in this world who knows my deepest passions and desires in life. I cannot imagine my life without her and I have so much respect for her as my wife, mother, lover, friend and woman of God. Her sincerity in the love that she expresses to her family, friends and colleagues makes her even more beautiful than her outer appearance.
Prior to meeting [Name deleted], I was extremely judgmental and often failed to empathize with those whom I encountered. Her compassion for other people was extremely contagious and inspired me to search for ways to implement the love and teachings of Christ to those who have not experienced His grace. Even growing up in a Christian home, I never acknowledged my role in helping others until [Name deleted] opened my eyes to the hurts and needs of others. I praise God everyday for sending her to me and allowing me to share my life with her. Similar to any marriage, we are not perfect and have had our difficulties, but they never damage the strength of our union.
Having started my relationship with [Name deleted] during my senior year of high school, I quickly faced the important decision to choose the college I would attend. As an awkward, naïve and vulnerable teenager, I was uncertain of the importance and consequences of this decision. However, as I considered my college options, I appreciated the confidence that my family placed in me to make the right choice. I never felt any unnecessary pressure to attend a certain college or university. Through much thought and prayer, I wisely chose to attend Greenville College. This decision turned out to be one of the best conclusions I have ever made.
The academic, spiritual and emotional treasures that I received during my four years at this higher education institution have been invaluable to me. I took college very seriously and spun myself into an educational and spiritual cocoon with hopes of creating a new vibrant sense of self. Upon graduation, I emerged from this cocoon with the sharpened skills and abilities to make an impact on the professional world. My memories of college centered on my personal and emotional evolution. Throughout my days in college, I gained the courage to open myself to others, which allowed me the opportunity to form life long bonds. I had finally confronted my own insecurities and no longer struggled with the inability to remove the social barriers that I previously placed on my relationships with my friends. My friendships with my college peers continue today, as we share memories of the past, as well as the new journeys of marriage, professional successes and the addition of children. It is an amazing feeling of comfort to me to know that I have such a strong group of Christian friends whom I can rely on through life’s complexities and challenges.
My years as an undergraduate student at Greenville College were some of the most important years of my life. During these years, I was able to explore my innermost thoughts on life and construct my own conclusions and definitions. I was no longer held to the restrictions of a high school curriculum and was encouraged to generate my own perspectives. The atmosphere of this Christian, liberal arts educational institution was conservative, but never restrictive. I always felt that I could share my opinions with other students, professors and faculty without fear of judgment or ridicule. In fact, many of the college’s faculty members stressed their desire for us to study and reflect on the views of individuals or religions with differing outlooks. In one of my favorite courses at Greenville, “Bible and Culture”, we were given the opportunity to study and visit several different religions which included several types of Christian churches, Judaism and Buddhism. This was an eye opening experience for me, as I was able to speak with and participate in the traditions and services of these differing faiths. Many of my preconceived notions about the members of these religions were shattered after this trip. I am continually reminded of this trip when I encounter someone who has an alternative lifestyle, political views or religious affiliations than mine. I believe everyone needs to make the effort to understand others before they develop an opinion and I feel fortunate that I learned this lesson so early on in my life. It is a lesson I will never forget.
The importance of education has always been a principal theme in my family. My parents both graduated with education majors and instilled in me the significance of education. They never stressed any particular career or vocation they expected me to pursue, but they made sure that I strived to achieve my own ambitions. This supportive freedom assisted my siblings and me to construct a foundation to build our academic futures. I have encountered many individuals whose parents put tremendous pressure on them to attain certain successes in their career. I enjoyed the luxury of parents who expressed unconditional support of my choices. Similar to principles of the self-directed philosophy of education, I want to instill in my children a love of education and a desire to excel at any task or mission they encounter in life.