Evaluate the positive and negative effects of the industrial revolution
Thesis statement- Factories provided a way to mass produce items and made jobs but at a cost of lives, and the pollution of the atmosphere. First off many people died at the hands of machines. But those machines also created jobs and made mass production possible. Also, it polluted our atmosphere and continues to do so today. In my opinion the benefits do not outway the loss of life and destruction of our atmosphere.
[Not one sentence, Take out opinion. Rewritten: The factories of the industrial revolution were a blessing and a curse they created jobs and mass production, but the injured workers and polluted the earth so their benefits do not outweigh their problems.]
Thesis Statement- There is positive and negative impacts or the Industrial Revolution like production, factories, and the people.
[needs an argument]
Thesis statement - The many negative effects of the industrial revolution including injuries and child labor outnumbered the positive effects such as mass production of goods.
[has everything]
Thesis statement - There are more positive than negative effects of the Industrial Revolution and although many people suffered to get through it, the new technology that was made, the changing of class structure, and the positive impact on people that we have made it all worth it.
Evaluate the above thesis statement does it need any changes?
The positive effects of the industrial revolution are the comforts and conveniences that we gained from it and the negatives are how people were treated, and the health hazards it caused..
Evaluate the above thesis statement does it need any changes?
II. Conditions of workers (Body Paragraph 1)
- explanation of the condition in factories
- more evidence from the testimony of Joseph Hebergam (document 2)
- elaborate [need to list elaboration]
- background knowledge [Need to list]
- concluding sentence [Put sentence thought down.
Body Paragraph 1
In the factories during the industrial revolution the workers were not treated well and many died while working. In the document that had an expert from the testimony of [One such worker]Joseph Hebergam to the Sadler Committee, Joseph stated that he was 28 and would die within a year because of the factories. [Document 2] Also from that expert he said that there was a little boy who was cut up and chopped up in a machine and he died and his sister who went to save him wasn't expected to live. Many of the people that worked in the factories were killed the same way that little boy was. Many times people got caught in machines and killed, also people who worked in the factories lived short lives because of the condition in the factories causing their bodies not to function right. From my knowledge I know that the kids [Children] who worked there were killed and beat and did not get the propor needs that a child should get. Overall the factories were not a good place to work because of the bad conditions.
The Industrial Revolution had many negative outcomes, such as the inhumane treatment of workers, but it had more positive effects such as the beginning of massive innovation and the beginning of a capitalistic society, which proved it was worth it.
- Capitalism begins
- the owners of factories had huge success
- their creativity was very rewarding
- the workers were nowhere near as successful
- today the US operates as a capitalistic society
- although there was lots of struggle in the factories, it was part of capitalism
One huge benefit of the Industrial Revolution was the beginning of Capitalism. Through Capitalism, the owners of all the major factories had huge success. They were massively rewarded for their creativity by becoming wealthy and powerful. [Adding an example of their success would have been great here] Unfortunately, the workers were not nearly as successful. However, they were still a huge part of the Capitalistic society. [A sentence of the advantages they received would be better]. Today, the United States has many Capitalistic companies, which is very important because in Capitalism you are inspired by the reward of money to try and have amazing innovations. Although the workers did struggle in the factories, overall Capitalism beginning was extremely important.
Thesis statement The industrial revolution was both positive and negative, urbanization, and injury and children being over worked.
II. urbanization
- People left
- finding work
- city conditions
[Need to add D and E]
Urbanization it [is] when people leave the country or farm land and go to the city to find work. when everyone went to the city got really gross. [Add an example 20 families sharing one toilet etc]. (People worked in factories and it was very dangerous. People were injured and sometimes killed. You [3rd person] had little time to eat and were overworked. This was not the ideal job to have.)
(Rewritten: When families moved to the cities they were forced to find work in factories that were often very dangerous. Children were even killed because machines lacked covers to moving parts. [doc 2] These families were not well paid in their jobs and were forced to live in awful conditions. These slums according to Fredich Engles were full of stinking trash, stagnant pools of filthy water, and cramped houses. [doc 7] Overall the conditions in the homes and workplace were horrible for the people forced to endure them.