EMOTIONAL AND VERBAL ABUSE: WHAT ARE THEY?
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WHAT IS EMOTIONAL ABUSE?
Abuse itself is a pattern of coercive behavior that is designed to control and dominate another individual through the use of fear, humiliation, threats, intimidation and verbal or physical assaults.
Emotional abuse is any kind of abuse that is emotional rather than physical in nature. It can include things such as verbal abuse, demeaning comments,and criticism. It can also take the form of more subtle tactics, including things such as intimidation, manipulation, and projection.
Emotional abuse systematically wears away a person's self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in their own perceptions, and self-concept. Whether it is done by constant berating and belittling, by intimidation, or under the guise of “guidance,” “teaching,” or “advice,” the results are similar.
Emotional abuse cuts to the very core of a person, creating scars that may be far deeper and more lasting than physical ones (Engel, 1992, p. 10).
WHAT IS VERBAL ABUSE?
Verbal abuse is a form of battery that involves the use of words, rather than blows and punches. In a verbally abusive situation, words are used to attack, control, and inflict harm on another person. Verbally abusive behavior goes far beyond mean behavior; it involves inflicting psychological violence on another person, attacking the very nature of an individual's being and attempting to destroy his or her spirit.
Arguments in verbally abusive relationships are far different from those in healthy relationships. In healthy relationships, people argue at times over real issues that have the potential to be resolved. There is an equal "balance of power" and both partners are willing and able to compromise when necessary. In an abusive relationship, resolution is not achieved in a mutually respectful way.
A number of behaviors are considered verbally abusive, including angry outbursts, screaming rages, and name-calling. Verbal abuse often includes blaming, denying, minimizing, and intimidation. Hidden aggression is a characteristic of verbal abuse as well.
Verbal abuse is extremely manipulative and confusing, as insults are often disguised as caring comments.
The scars from verbal assaults can last for years.
They are psychological scars that leave people unsure of themselves, unable to recognize their true value, talents and worth.
Sometimes people in abusive relationships feel that they are
no longer able to adapt to life’s many challenges (Evans, P., The Verbal Abuse Site). Hopelessness, low self esteem and depression may result.
Click on the “How Can Susan Help” link for more information on healing from abuse.