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Nine Leadership Guidelines (and Some Vocabulary) for Moving Beyond Discipline to Guidance

Dan Gartrell 7/2017

1. Guidance requires developmentally appropriate practice with every child in the group. DAP allows for differences in development, experience, and learning styles. DAP accommodates the very active and physical nature of young children throughout the daily program. DAP means that the educational program is encouraging for every child in the group, and that group spirit is alive. DAP includes the active involvement of families in order to inter-relate classroom relationships and experiences with healthy family ties for the children in the class. DAP requires each adult in the setting to act as a professional. Guidance needs DAP to flourish.

2. Young children are best thought of as months-old, not years old. They are just beginning to learn difficult democratic life skills, and make mistakes in their behavior. Professionals who view children’s conflicts not as “misbehavior” (with the cultural baggage this term carries), but as mistaken behavior at the beginning of a complex learning process, are in a strong philosophical position to use guidance.

3. There is no such thing as a “bad kid.” There are only children with bad problems that they need help learning to solve.“Challenging children” are challenged by life's circumstances. They are dealing with unmanageable levels of stress. They are often the hardest children to like, but are in need of a helping relationship with professionals the most. Professionals who use guidance need not love every child, but as professionals they do need to build a positive relationship with each child. Secure relationships are built outside of conflict situations.

4. Guidance is discipline without the punishment; it is teaching not “disciplining.” Punishment has the effect of raising stress hormones in children’s brains. The immediate and long-term effects of high stress levels make it difficult for children to learn the very skills they need in order to avoid future conflicts. Punishment has no place in developmentally appropriate early childhood settings.

5. Guidance is not overly permissive. There is to be no harm to anyone in the early learning community. Guidance means using leadership skills that are sometimes firm, but firm and friendly not firm and harsh. Professionals who use guidance accept that causing a conflict does have consequences, but for the adult as well as the child. The consequence for the adult is to calm and teach, and the consequence for the child is to reconcile and to learn a better alternative for next time.

6. The goal of guidance is to teach children five democratic life skills. Democratic life skills include the child’s capacity to:

1) See one's self as a worthy member of the group and as a worthy individual

2) Express strong emotions in non-hurting ways

3) Solve problems creatively--by one's self and in cooperation with others.

4) Accept differing human qualities in others

5) Make decisions intelligently and ethically.

7. From day one, the ECE professional builds partnerships with families. S/he is friendly first and unrelentingly positive. As with children, the professional builds trust-based relationships with family members. With mutual trust family members are able to engage more with their children, with you on behalf of their children, and with the program on behalf of themselves.

8. The more serious the conflicts a child is experiencing, the more the professional works with others as a team to help the child resolve underlying problems and gain emotional-social skills. The professional works together with staff in the same setting; with the child’s family; with administrators; and with outside professionals. Through working together in teams professionals accomplish what they cannot accomplish alone. This strategy is called comprehensive guidance.

9. The professional learns even as s/he teaches. The professional practices liberation teaching, never giving up on any child. To approach this highest level of guidance, professionals need support systems, both at work and in personal settings. Positive staff relations, no matter the differences among staff members, are vital. A central role of administrators is to foster and encourage support systems for every staff member in the program and at home.

Guidance Vocabulary

Move Beyond: Move to:

"Challenging children" show challenging behaviors / Stressed children act out due to life challenges
"Discipline": slides too easily into punishment / Guidance: firm but friendly; calms and teaches
"Misbehavior": leads to negative judgments / Mistaken behavior: errors in learning the 5 DLS
"Unacceptable behaviors": clearly judgmental / Conflicts: mistakes in expressing disagreements
"Punishment: logical consequenceof aggression" / Guidance: calms, reconciles, teaches & affirms
"Removing" (expelling) children "who do not fit in" / Liberation teaching, never giving up on any child

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These guidance principles and concepts come from my Guidance Matters columns in Young Children and from my books, the most recent of which are Education for a Civil Society (2012, NAEYC publisher) and Guidance for Every Child (2017, Redleaf Press publisher.) For free downloads and other information about guidance go to