Child Development
Chapter 3 notes
Effective Parenting Skills
Parenting is a learning process. It is defined as caring for children and helping them develop.
Parents need to know when to help and when to back off
Parents need to avoid pushing their children into activities that they are not developmentally ready for
Parenting skills change as children age
Must have reasonable expectations; children do act their age, but parents don’t always know what to expect.
Styles of Parenting
Authoritarian-children need to obey parents without question, there are clear expectations of what child is to do, what the expectations are, parents are firm and quick when rules are broken
Democratic-the children have more input into the rules and limits, they have a certain amount of independence and freedom of choice within the rules
Permissive-children have a wide range of freedom or set their own rules
Parents often combine the styles on certain issues
Parents may change their style as the child ages
Tasks of Parenting
Nurturing-giving a child opportunities, enrichment, encouragement, showing love, support, concern…it is our responsibility to meet the needs of children
Preventing deprivation(not the same as poverty), deprivation is the lack of an enriching environment
“window of opportunity” birth to age 8 for introduction of concepts, teaching skills, these relate to when the brain is ready to learn…for example-acquiring a second language starting at age one
Guiding Children’s Behavior
Guidance-using firmness and understanding to help children learn to control their own behavior. The result is self-discipline or the child’s ability to control their own behavior.
Consistency is the key, parents need to make rules and apply them in all situations; consistency with all caregivers is important, too.
How to guide children to behave appropriately:
1. Encourage appropriate behavior
2. Set and enforce limits, offer choices (correct age)
3. Deal with inappropriate behavior in effective ways
4. Set a good example, tell what is expected
5. Praise appropriate behavior….positive reinforcement
Praise appropriate behavior:
- be specific
- notice behavior immediately
- recognize small steps
- help child take pride
- tailor encouragement to needs of child
Inappropriate behavior-may be unintentional
Punishment is negative reinforcement
Negative reinforcement is aimed at discouraging a child from repeating a behavior
Punishment with good judgment can be effective at times:
Examples:
- warning 1st time
- allow child to suffer consequences of behavior if it doesn’t endanger him
- loss of privileges
- time out
Poor disciplinary measures:
- bribing (backfires…always expects a reward)
- make children promise to behave
- shouting/yelling
- shaming/belittling
- threaten to withhold love
Help children handle conflict by: using their words, speaking calmly, counting to ten