Edith 60 Sec tvc – Russian edit
TRANSLATION BRIEF
Opening Title:AT THIS MOMENT
The translation should have a sense of immediacy: all this is happening ‘right now”, “at this precise moment”
СЕЙЧАС
Now
В ДАННЫЙ МОМЕНТ
ATTHISMOMENT
We see a street light turn itself off
Title: 3600000006106 PEOPLE ARE SLEEPING
This translation should be straightforward, no word play. This is a fact.
ЛЮДИСПЯТ
People are sleeping
Cut to grey suits going round on conveyor belt in dry cleaners
Title: 58888888 ARE WEARING A SUIT
Again, we are stating a fact. Straightforward, no word play. By implication, this statement isn’t neutral: it starts a series of boring, negative and/or mundane things people have to do.
'Wearing suits' not boring enough as suits are a status symbol in Russia. Perhaps 'dressed alike' would work better. Improved copy / translation needed.
НОСЯТКОСТЮМЫ
Are wearing suits
Wearing a suit is not a status symbol in Russia. At least, not more than elsewhere.
Corporate code of many Russian companies (especially high-tech ones) allows casual dress.
Cut to traffic control room with monitors of road traffic
Title: 5757575757 ARE SITTING IN A CAR
This is boring. A car is supposed to take you somewhere, yet much of the time we spend sitting still. The translation should not be active (not “driving a car”).
This visual footage is not considered to communicate a mundaine situation clearly enough. Can amend the copy to make it more mundaine (traffic jam?)
СИДЯТВМАШИНЕ
Are sitting in a car
Or
СИДЯТВПРОБКЕ
Are sitting in a traffic jam
Moscow is a driving hell, especially downtown.
Cut to deserted office cubicles/work stations
Title: 8700004848 ARE SITTING IN A CUBICLE
In English, the repetition “sitting”…”sitting” works to emphasize the boring nature of these two images. Again, we are using a passive expression (so do not use “are working”). Working in a cubicle is The Boring work environment: you are just a number in the system, without any privacy or room for creativity. So try to convey this in the translation. Try to be more specific than “Working in an office”; that’s too neutral.
There's no Russian understanding for the word 'cubicle'. Sitting behind a desk is not necessarily bad in Russia (again, a status thing)
Improved copy / translation needed. Maybe think about something along the lines of 'doing paperwork'?
СИДЯТВОФИСЕ
Are sitting in an office
Cubicles are extremely rare in Russia.
Cut to conveyor belts of sushi going round….
Title: 2828282 ARE EATING FAST FOOD
This should be pretty straightforward. Again, this is a negative thing in the context of the ad. Instead of enjoying food, eating is a task that you try to get done as fast as possible.
Russians do not 'get' link between sushi and fast food. For them sushi is very aspirational and premium.Also, the conveyor belt isn't very familiar for them. Improved copy / translation needed to clarify for the Russian market.
ЕДЯТВЗАКУСОЧНОЙ
Are eating in an eatery
To begin with, fast good is not that popular in Russia. The Russian lunch is a substantial affair with a borsh, a main course, etc. Normally people have their lunch on the premises. Russians use Macdonald’s when they have no choice, e.g., when driving and needing a bite. Most Russians refer to hamburgers and other “junk food” as plastic or rubber. Suchi is different and fairly rare, especially outside of Moscow.
Cut to deserted supermarket carpark with trollies sliding out of frame
Title: 233224 ARE SHOPPING FOR GROCERIES
The further we go, the more specific we’re getting (because the number of people should get smaller all the time). Shopping for groceries is again the most boring shopping there is, a thing you have to do. So try to find an expression that captures the repeated monotony of this task.
Potentialy improved copy / translation needed.Is this copy too long?
ПОКУПАЮТПРОДУКТЫ
Are buying food stuffs
“Groceries” is a special term used mostly by professionals.
Cut to a multiple choice questionnaire form….
Title: 46464646 ARE FILING FOR DIVORCE
So not “getting divorced”. Try to be more specific, find something that relates to the bureaucracy of the original: “filing for” and works with the image (filling in a form).
Apparently the topic of 'divorce' is a significantly more emotional topic for Russians. Improved copy / translation needed (without 'divorce').
ПОДАЮТНАРАЗВОД
Are filing for divorce
I do not believe divorce is more emotional for Russians.
Cut to a guy sitting in his bedroom watching this commercial on his tv
Title: 76248 ARE WATCHING THIS COMMERCIAL
A reminder of the immediacy of what’s going on: this many people are doing the exact same thing as you, at this exact moment. In the context of the ad (even though we’re making a self-referential joke here), this should come across as a boring thing: why are you sitting on your ass? Get out, do something!
СМОТРЯТЭТУРЕКЛАМУ
Are watching this commercial
Cut to a falling office cubicle in a car park crashing to the ground
Title: 9414 ARE QUITTING THEIR DAY JOB.
This is the turning point of the ad: these people have had enough of all the mundane, uninspiring, stifling things they’ve had to put up with. Quitting your day job is an act of courage, something that many people dream of doing (dream of becoming an actress while supporting themselves with a day job as a waitress.) This title refers to the expression: “Don’t quit your day job.”, so if there is an appropriate expression in Russian, feel free to play with that.
ЗАКАНЧИВАЮТРАБОТУ
Are quitting their work
Reading so much into a phrase like that!
In Russia there is nothing special associated with this act.
Just calling it a day.
Cut to a divers point of view, diving down into a lake…..
Title: 4310 ARE MAKING A SPLASH
OK, this is a tricky one. It continues the thought from the last title: you quit your day job to do something you passionately believe in, and as a result, you are making a difference, creating ripples, doing something people notice.
So this is word play, a double meaning. When you dive in you obviously make a splash, but more importantly, you are actually doing something meaningful. So a literal translation, like “diving”, or “diving from a cliff” won’t do. Try to find something that conveys the same feeling of courage and getting attention than the original. Something that works to create the turning point into positive together with the previous title; “taking a leap of faith”, “a big leap”, “creating ripples”…
КУПАЮТСЯ
Are bathing
ОТРЫВАЮТСЯ
Are having a kick
The last word is a slangy. It is used when after hard work people have a good time, normally with much noise, booze, etc. Unfortunately, there is no fitting idiom in Russian involving splash.
Cut to underneath a bed, with springs bouncing up and down
Title: 2060 ARE HAPPILY MARRIED
The image is already sexually loaded, so the title should not make any jokes. Balance the image with a positive fact.
ЗАНИМАЮТСЯСЕКСОМ
Are occupied with sex
НАСЛАЖДАЮТСЯСЕМЕЙНЫМСЧАСТЬЕМ
Are enjoying family happiness
Cut to deserted band rehearsal rooms
Title: 180 ARE RECORDING A HIT
ЗАПИСЫВАЮТХИТ
Are recording a hit
Cut to point of view of someone diving under a wave in the ocean
Title: 33 ARE DISCOVERING NEW SPECIES
The translation does not have to refer to marine species. In fact, it works well in English precisely because it doesn’t: it’s about discovery, people going to new heights or depths.
ОТКРЫВАЮТНОВЫЕВИДЫЖИВОТНЫХ
Discoveringnewanimalspecies
ОТКРЫВАЮТНОВЫЕГОРИЗОНТЫ
Discovering new horizons
Cut to an ice sculpture being created into the shape of a throne
Title: 10 ARE CARVING A THRONE
This title should be very specific and straightforward, both to help people understand what they are seeing, and highlight the somewhat surreal act.
ВЫРЕЗАЮТТРОН
Are carving out a throne
Cut to a tracking shot of footprints in the wet sand
Title: 1 IS ADMIRING HIS FOOTPRINTS
As literal as possible.
ИЗУЧАЮТСВОИСЛЕДЫ
Are examining their footprints
ЛЮБУЮТСЯСВОИМИСЛЕДАМИ
Are admitting their footprints
Title: FILTER OUT WHAT YOU DON’T LIKE
Asliteralaspossible.
ОТФИЛЬТРУЙТЕ ТО, ЧТО ВАМ НЕ НРАВИТСЯ
Filter out what you do not like
This phrase sounds queer in Russian. “Filter” in Russian is a technical term.
I kept it only because there is an obvious link with the “filtered” in the last title.
A Russian would say “throw away”.
Title: KEEP WHAT YOU DO
As literal as possible.
ОСТАВЬТЕ ТО, ЧТО ВАМ НРАВИТСЯ
Keepwhatyoulike
In Russian we have to repeat the word. We do not have an equivalent of the English “do” in such a context.
Cut to bottle of ... Beer
Title: TASTE LIFE PURE FILTERED
ИСПРОБУЙТЕФИЛЬТРОВАННУЮЖИЗНЬ
Tastefilteredlife
I like beer, but I do not understand the meaning of “filtered”.
I suspect many Russians do not understand it either.
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