Dr. Smith/English 101/Revision Workshop Guide (Narrative/Descriptive Essay)
Directions to the readers: This workshop is to help with revision of content, organization, and word choice only. Take a sheet of paper and write your name at the top of it and then answer the following questions about the essays of two other writers in the class. DO NOT answer the questions with just “yes” or “no”; explain your answers fully, so the writer will have a chance to use your insights to help improve his or her paper. You may write on the paper itself if you like for certain answers.
1. Is there a title? Is it interesting? If either of these answers is in the negative, suggest a title to the student after you read the entire essay.
2. Does the introductory material work well as an attention-getter for you as a reader? Does the writer lead you into the topic, rather than just immediately dropping you into his/her thesis? If not, suggest a way that he or she might lead you into the essay in a more gentle or interesting way
3. Read the first paragraph of the essay and then pause. What do you think the main idea of the essay is? Underline the thesis. Does the thesis introduce the main conflict in the event being described? Does it give information about the setting (time and place)? Is it specific enough? Developed enough? Does it give a good representation of what the essay is about? . Write down what you expect will be the purpose and audience of the paper. If you cannot find either of these in the first paragraph, let the writer know this.
4. Now read the body paragraphs of the essay. Does each body paragraph have a topic sentence that relates directly to the thesis given in the introduction? Read only the topic sentences of the body paragraphs in order. Do they give the general outline of the narrative story on their own? Does each topic sentence have a time word/phrase to help the narrative flow?
- Look at each of the body paragraphs individually now. Does each paragraph have primary support (general details of the story in order of occurrence) and secondary support (specific details that really explain what went on)?
- If the paper is about an event, is the narrative sequenced in an easy-to-follow order? Did you ever get lost somewhere because things appear to be out of sequence or not really explained or not really relevant to the essay? Does the writer use transitions to jump from one idea to another (especially between body paragraphs)?
7.Go to the essay and mark three places with a plus mark (+) where you think the writer used effective, detailed information to support the main idea. Write a comment next to these places that tells the writer what support is effective.
8.Go to the paper and mark three places with a check mark where you think the writer needs to provide more developed and effective details to support the main idea. Write a comment next to these places that tells the writer what kind of details are needed to make the support more effective.
9.What do you like best about the entire essay?
10.What two features need the most improvement? Give some recommendations to the writer about how he or she might improve these things before the Editing Workshop.
When you finish your answers: First, show me your answers to get credit for the workshop. Then, give the paper and your answers/comments back to the writer. When you return the paper, discuss questions #9 and #10 with the writer.
Directions to the writers: Incorporate needed revision changes (your own and ones that your readers suggest to you in class today) and then bring two copies of your revised essay to class for our Editing Workshop. Take this revision work seriously and make significant changes to your essay before printing two copies out for the Editing Workshop.