Domestic violence and the Mordues
Response to ‘In Honour of Lois,’ (Woodstock S-R, Dec 28, 2005)
Letter to the Editor, Woodstock Sentinel Review, Woodstock, Ontario
By Sue McPherson, submitted Dec 28, 2005
In the article, In Honour of Lois, Dec 28, 2005, the emphasis on Lois Mordue is as a victim of domestic violence rather than of murder. Of course, the two can go hand in hand, but there is a possibility that, in this case, domestic violence wasn't the main problem in the marriage, and that it was not the underlying reason for the murder. It was reported in an earlier article, on Aug 11, that "there is not indication of a history of abuse between the Mordues." Also, " The couple’s separation wasn’t recent, the chief said."
I am concerned to see the social issue of domestic violence used in a way that distorts the meaning of the term. From mention of her in other articles, Lois Mordue doesn't come across as being a victim. Yes, she was murdered, but people can be murdered without being victims of domestic violence. At age 59, she had moved on from her marriage, and was living a happy life in her own home, according to one article (Aug 12), and had been working at the Woodstock General Hospital until her death. Where her husband worked had not been reported in articles I read, but he did seem to be a troubled person, from things reported about him. It's a tragedy when someone dies under such circumstances, but looking at it only from the perspective of domestic violence, of one spouse towards the other, limits an understanding of the circumstances of both of their lives. Domestic violence, in one respect, is about power, but who had the greater power in that relationship has not been mentioned.
I have another concern, and that is that the case has not yet gone to trial, but Erland Mordue is already being described as a perpetrator of domestic violence as well as as a murderer. From what has appeared in the media, Lois Mordue comes across as well-adjusted and thriving in her life without her husband. Unless there was a history of domestic abuse, the killing of Lois Mordue might better be considered separately, rather than being seen as an example of domestic violence. It is tragic when someone is murdered, leaving behind their family to grieve. But premature attempt to deal with the matter can lead to further social injustice unless attempts are made to view the circumstances dispassionately.
Sue McPherson
Colchester, England
------
In honour of Lois
By Jon Willing - Staff Writer, Woodstock Sentinel-Review
Wednesday December 28, 2005
Suffering the heartache of losing his sister to tragic circumstances this year, Robert Alexander is on a mission to learn more about a crime plaguing Oxford County and many other communities in Canada.
Alexander’s sister, Lois Mordue, was found dead in her Woodstock home last Aug. 8. Her estranged husband, 57-year-old Erland Mordue, is charged with first-degree murder and is in custody. The charge is currently before the courts and has not yet come to trial.
While the Crown prosecutes an alleged domestic homicide, Alexander is trying to find some answers to why domestic violence is happening.
"Right after Lois’s death, I talked to every social agency in the city," Alexander said Tuesday at his home just outside Woodstock. "I’m probably on my 15th or 16th book. I’ve read everything the library had."
Alexander, 63, said researching domestic violence has been his way of coping with Lois’s death.
Dec. 17 would’ve been Lois’s 60th birthday. Her headstone was recently placed on her grave, an event that Alexander said hit home. A couple weeks ago, Alexander, who owns a local cleaning company, went to Lois’s home to help clean.
"It felt strange," Alexander explained. "All it does is bring it back again."
But while Alexander carries the painful memory, he’s using the tragedy to inspire others to think more critically about domestic violence in their communities. He’s taking his knowledge about domestic violence to local organizations, starting Feb. 22 at a Woodstock Rotary Club meeting. Alexander said he brings the subject up "non-stop" in casual conversations.
It’s clear that Alexander has done his homework. He effortlessly rhymes off Canadian and American statistics on domestic violence rates and cites examples of cases from literature he has read. He has even met with families of victims involved in local domestic violence crimes. Next month he plans to sit in on counselling sessions for men who abuse their partners in an effort to understand why domestic violence happens.
While the past three months have involved copious amounts of research, Alexander said his presentation would focus heavily on his own experience coping with Lois’s death.
It has been sorrowful year for serious domestic-related crimes in Oxford.
Months after Lois’s death, provincial police found the bodies of Edward Schott, 32, and Sandra Schott, 29, on a farm property west of Ingersoll. Police suspect Edward abducted his wife in the early morning of Oct. 27. Investigators located the couple in a burned out car later in the day.
Alexander said the incident brought back memories of learning about his sister’s death. The two tragic incidents are "just too many" for a community this size to handle in a year, he said yesterday.
He has been seriously thinking about starting a national organization to speak out against domestic violence. He has gone as far as contacting other groups, such as Mothers Against Drunk Driving, to learn how they started.
Alexander said he would speak to any group who will listen - he has also been asked to talk at the Zonta Club of Oakville next April. But as he embarks on a journey to educate others about the domestic violence, Alexander knows it’s a problem without an easy solution.
"The deeper I get into the subject of domestic violence, I realize it’s not simple," he said.
Publisher: Pat Logan, Bowes Publishers Limited