“fist things first” by Nikki Reimer. Wrinkle Press, Vancouver: 2009
fist things first –
above all you’ve got to keep your foot on straight
pull up your ass keep your toes on the prize cut off your mother to spite your face
leap before you pee turn the other kidney waist high in skin
deep boner on the tube them bones in your eye
cartoon porn in the inbox rivals eDiets and brand name bodies glisten
listen, flatulence sells
she has her mother’s cock
chill to the tips of his teeth
a fist up yr eye
all respectable parts come in pairs:
2 eyes ears lips (sets) elbows quads calves ankles wrists balls (collector sets)
mangoes apples pears oranges gold knockers silver balls and prune plums
a bird in the hand worth 2 in the bush
far too many obscene
cakeholes
not to be confused with:
spanking the monkey, jerking the fish, grating the donkey, squeegee the cow
to water, pump the iguana, lord it over the kingfisher, smack the potato, waltz
the Titanic, spring clean dead chickens and the horse you rode in on
he has a spine but we found him lacking in a femur well
urethra like or ya don’t
(this punning would not be indulged if you had prostrate problems)
too often lost in my iris cornea
glaucoma elbows weary from raising a nation of obese fatty fatty 2 by 4
wrists overdeveloped from years of Duke Nukem and jacking off to Pammy’s
tits tits tits! we all want supersize
get in line a national treasure in plasticine parts fresh off the line
assemble at home assemble at work assemble your kids before McDick’s
steady rice and veggies all you needed to ward off cardiovascular disease cuz
the body always leads to food – supermodels crave the physique
of starving Sudanese but without the flies and death
wanted a pear shape but fresh out that year scientists suspect girls
are hitting puberty is hitting back hormones in the other white meat or overfeeding
nudity is nothing to be ashamed of but Reubens loved
your Jennie Craig before pics
I started bleeding at ten and a half until they explained the respiratory system
it all starts with the kneebone connected to my Baba’s first period
in the middle of a baseball game, she wrapped rags in her knickers
and kept playing