Susan McConnell

Beth O’Neil

Pain as a Path to Happiness

2013 IFS Conference

Susan McConnell

Beth O’Neil

#2 Learning Objectives

1. Become aware of a situation that caused you distress and notice the parts and the burdens connected with that situation.

2. Become aware of the physical sensations connected with the situation and stay with the sensations, inviting them to sequence through the body.

3. Understand that this process can lead to embodied Self energy, including gratitude for the situation that originally caused you distress.

#3 Pain—Embrace this?

#4 We try to avoid pain

#5 The Paradox: Protectors who try to avoid pain cause us more pain

# 6

“Where something becomes extremely difficult and unbearable, there we stand already quite near its transformation” Rilke

#7 We are born

#8 Maybe that is when it started

#9 Things happen that we don’t like. We feelPain.

#10 Parts make up stories to explain the pain

I am the problem

I’m not lovable

There is something wrong with me

I am alone

Bad things always happen to me

Grown ups are dumb

#11 The stories are verbal and nonverbal

#12 The stories get repeated

#13 The brain in pain

#14 The emotional brain has evolved for our survival

#17 Neural synaptic bonds are strengthened with repeated stimulation

#18

“Your mind is like a piece of land planted with many different kinds of seeds: seeds of joy, peace, mindfulness, understanding, and love; seeds of craving, anger, fear, hate, and forgetfulness...The seeds that are watered frequently are those that will grow strong.”

- Thich Nhat Hanh

#19 “In highly charged situations, we could shake up our ancient fear-based habits by simply pausing.” - Pema Chodron

#20 The Path

“Anything we experience, no matter how challenging, can become an open pathway to awakening.” - Pema Chodron

#21

“In the Buddhist teaching, we’re encouraged to work with

the wildness of our minds and emotions as the absolute best way to dissolve our confusion and pain. Rather than getting so caught in the drama of who did what to whom, we could simply recognize that we’re worked up and stop fueling emotions with our stories.” - Pema Chodron

#22 Follow the trailheads by staying with the pain

#23

“The more you stay present with yourself, the more you realize what all of us are up against. Just like me, other people feel pain and want it to go away. Just like me, they go about this in a way that only makes matters worse.” - Pema Chodron

#24 Resources on the path: The Tools of Somatic IFS

Somatic Awareness

Conscious Breathing

Mindful Movement

Somatic Resonance

Attuned Touch

#25 The Path

1. Find a situation that caused you pain. Listen to the verbal story. Condense it into one sentence.

2. Focus on the body story (sensations) that goes along with the sentence. Stay with these sensations.

3. Invite the sensations to move and allow the movement to come to completion.

4. Go back to the situation that caused you pain. Notice any shifts. Anchor the shifts.

#28

“Learning to stay is the basis for connecting with natural warmth; it is the basis for loving ourselves and also for compassion.” - Pema Chodron

#32

“Right here, exactly where we are, we can live from a broader perspective, one that admits all experiences--pleasurable, painful and neutral.”

- Pema Chodron

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