Quicksand Hunter
Scene 1
In a jungle somewhere. The Quicksand Hunter stands facing the camera, and begins talking immediately, in an excessively enthusiastic whisper.
Quicksand Hunter "Hey there…. Remember a TV program a while back about some guy going around catching and teasing crocodiles? Sure you do…. That guy acted like he was nuts…. Yeah, you remember now. He'd jump right in to a crocodile pit or climb in a tree going after a deadly poisonous snake…. That stuff seemed really stupid, didn't it. He even got bitten a few times, but it was pretty good TV.
"But Crikey!, then he did something REALLY stupid. Yeah, you remember what that was.
"Well, I'm not him…. Why heck, I'm not even a him…. I don't chase crocodiles….. And I don't care much for snakes….. they're okay you understand, I'm just not turned on by them…. I guess they do keep down the rats and stuff."
"Nope, I'm not him, but I'd like to have a TV show. It would be pretty similar too. I don't hunt crocodiles but I do spend a lot of time in the swamp. I'm the 'Quicksand Hunter."
Fade quickly to black
Fade in to
Scene 2
A similar setting to scene 1, but a peat pit is located just off screen to one side.
Quicksand Hunter: "To most people quicksand is something found only in horror movies. Its some mysterious form of mud that sucks its victims down to their doom. Once caught escape is almost impossible.
"Most people have never seen the real thing, and they wouldn't willingly get within half a mile of it if they knew of its presence. But its really pretty interesting stuff, and not so dangerous provided you’re an expert and know what you are doing. Fortunately, I am an expert and know what I'm doing, I've been at this since I was knee high to a crocodile…. And Crikey, we're in luck today…. There just HAPPENS to be a pit of quicksand near by… right over there, in fact…. Come on, let's investigate."
Quicksand Hunter walks across the camera's field of view to the pit, taking a position to one side, very close to the edge.
Quicksand Hunter: "Well, here it is. Actually this isn't true quicksand, but it is sort of the same thing. This is a peat bog…. You remember the Grimpen Mire in The Hound of the Baskervilles? You know, the old Sherlock Holmes story? Well that was a peat bog.
"Peat bogs are really COOL! One of the interesting thing about them is you can actually walk across them if you move quickly. Watch, I'll demonstrate…"
Quicksand Hunter now tries to walk rapidly across the surface, getting a few steps okay but then bogging down.
Quicksand Hunter: "Crikey….. that never happened before…. Ah….. I seem to be in a little deeper than I expected….. Hmmm….. Ah…… I seem to be stuck….
"But, don't worry!….. I can get out of this…..
"Ah….
"Crikey!…."
Quicksand Hunter is now waist deep
Quicksand Hunter "I do seem to be quite stuck….. But remember, I'm an expert…. And I know that it is quite impossible to actually go all the way under in any kind of quicksand…. So I'm not worried…. "
Quicksand Hunter is now chest deep.
Quicksand Hunter: "Crikey!
"Because I'm an expert, I know I will stop sinking as soon as I reach my float point…. That's the point where you float…. That's why its called the float point…. The point where you stop sinking and float….. I should be about there now"
Quicksand Hunter is now neck deep
Quicksand Hunter: "Have you ever noticed in the movies how they always tell a person in quicksand not to panic?…. That's because you do foolish things when you panic…. Like struggling violently.
"Crikey!"
Quicksand Hunter now begins to struggle violently, and is now chin deep.
Quicksand Hunter: "Help!….. This isn't supposed to happen…. I know cause I'm an expert….. Crikey!….. Help!…… Help!"
Quicksand Hunter now goes all the way under, continuing to call for help, and saying "Crikey" several more times.
Fade to black as the arms disappear.