Drumph Among the Poets: His Inauguration

DRUMPH AMONG THE POETS: HIS INAUGURATION

TheInauguration of Donald Drumph

As told by Robert W. Service

There are strange things done in the DC rain

By the men who moil for fame;

The swamp-like trails have their secret tales

Of the ghosts in the Washington game;

The Liberal Lights have seen queer sights,

But the queerest that ever went thump

Was that day on the steps nearthe Senate and Reps

WhereRoberts promoted Don Drumph.

Our boy, full of beansnot from Brooklyn butQueens, where the airports and truckers all go.

Was dazzled by light from Manhattan at night, left his home for Big Apple we know.

He always was bold, but the land of the gold seemed to chain him just like a spell;

Though he often would say in his homeliest way that "he'd sooner be living in hell."

On January twenty we were mushing our way over the Washington trail.

The press was unleashed and it stabbed like a hard driven nail.

If our eyes we'd close, then the Mall would expose the millions thatI couldn't see;

It wasn't much fun, but the only one to call it unfair was he.

And that very noon, we stood packed in the gloom in our robes beneath the rain,

And the fans were fed, and the bands out ahead were ready to march again

He turned to me, and "Cap," says he, "I won on this trip, I guess;

But just to show who, I am asking that you count the Mall crowds as I’m best."

Well, he seemed so low that I couldn't say no; then the country he addressed

“We’re giving D.C. Back to the people’ and “Make America Great Again.” he fessed

He left and let the podiumbe, while he raved of hispink marble home in NYC;

But by nightfall at the inaugural ball with Melania on show the old Drumph seemed to glow

Now a promise made is a debt unpaid, and the game has its own stern code.

In the days to come, my lips were mum, in my heart how I cursed my load.

In my body count of the Mall that day Obama was two to one. Could the truth be told

By one so bold or could alternative facts be won?

I do not know with the facts in tow howI wrestled with grisly fear;

But the unfacts came out and they danced all about ere again I dared to go near;

I was sick with dread, but I bravely said: "I'll just check in with the leader

As Prexy he’shooked and it’s time I looked to report as a Drumph factoid feeder.

And there sat Drumph, looking cool and calm, in the heart of a Fox News roar;

And he wore a smile you could see a mile, and he said: "Please close that door.

It's fine in here, but I greatly fear you'll let in the political storm—

Since I left Trump Tower in NYC it's the first time I've been warm."

There are strange things done in the Washington sun

By themoilers for power and for gold;

The politicos all have their secret tales

That would make your blood run cold;

The party fights have seen queer sights,

But the queerest one ever related

Was that night through the float of the rustbeltvote

Donald theDrumpf coronated.

Thersites