AndrewTriganza Scott
MBA(Maast.),M.Ed(Leadership), BPsy(Hons),PGCE
Communication Skills & Empathy
“Don’t criticize a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes,” but what exactly does this mean? How canyou understand someone else’s feelings without experiencing them yourself?
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AndrewTriganza Scott
MBA(Maast.),M.Ed(Leadership), BPsy(Hons),PGCE
Definitions and Origins ofEmpathy
EMPATHY: TheFundamental“People”Skill.
Empatheia(Greek)–“feeling into”.Theability toperceivethesubjective experienceofanotherperson.
An empathic response is an attempt to put ourselves in the other person’s place so that our feelings will suggest to us not only his emotions but also his motives.Empathy is trying to understand the other from the inside - not from the outside as an interested observer. The word "empathy" was first used in the 1920's by British psychologist Edward Bradford Titchner referring to motormimicry observed in one-year-olds who imitated the distress of someone else.
Titchner believed that empathy stemmed from a sort of physician imitation of the distress of another, which then evokes the same feelings in oneself.
As Gallo (1989) stated: ...an empathic response is one which contains both a cognitive and an affective dimension...the term empathy _is_ used in at least two ways; to mean a predominantly cognitive response, understanding how another feels, or to mean an affective communion with the other (p.100).
Carl Rogers (1975) wrote: ...the state of empathy or being empathic is to perceive the internal frame of reference of another with accuracy and with the emotional components and means which pertain as if one were the person, but without ever losing the as if condition (Quoted in Gallo 1989).
Haynes and Avery characterize empathy as: ...the ability to recognize and understand another person’s perceptions and feelings, and to accurately convey that understanding through an accepting response (p. 257).
And, the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language defines empathy as: ...understanding so intimate that the feelings, thoughts and motives of one are readily comprehended by another.”
Empathy is typically defined as including: (1) the affective capacity to share in another’s feelings, and (2) the cognitive ability to understand another’s feelings and perspective.
Definitions sometimes also include the ability to communicate one’s empathic feelings and understanding to another by verbal and/or nonverbal means.
Critical Aspects ofEmpathy
1. Awarenessofthe stateof beingof another.
2. Understandingof thiscondition.
3. A personal identificationwith thesituation.
4. Appropriateaffectiveresponse.
General Research Findingson Empathy
1. Femalesexhibit higherlevelsofempathythanmales;however,thereis someevidencethat empathy trainingreducesthis difference.
2. Empathyandpro-socialbehaviourincreasewith age;however, empathy traininghas been shown toreducethe differential inempathybetweenvery youngchildren andolderones.
3. Alongwith knowledge,self-determination, andstrategyutilization,empathyiscomingtobe regarded by moreand moreeducatorsas akeyattribute ofasuccessful learner.
4. Ingeneral,thehigherpeople scoreonthe measures of empathyandpro-social behaviour, the highertheir scoreson measure ofcritical, higher-order thinking. Role-taking, in particular, enhances openmindednessandreasoningcapabilities.
5. Classroomstrategiesandprogramdesignswhicharepositivelyrelatedto empathyandpro-social interactions are:
- Cooperativelearningstructuresinvolvinglearningteamsmadeupof representativesof differentracial/ethnicgroups, academic abilitylevels,both genders,thedifferentlyabled, socioeconomicgroups.
- Cross-ageandpeertutoring.
6. Emotionallydisturbedchildren exhibit greater empathyandpro-socialbehaviour when taughtin learningenvironmentsfeaturingcomponentsknown topromotethesequalities-focusonone’s behaviouraffectsothers, role-taking, etc.
Learning environments characterized by extrinsic rewards or punishments, and behavioural charting are negatively related to the development of empathy/pro-social behaviour in emotionally disturbed children.
RoadBlocks to Empathy
1. Emotional neglectresults in dullingempathy.
2. Stress acts todampen empathy towardsthe needsofothers.
3. Emotional abuseresultsinhypervigilancetocues thathavesignaledthreat. Such obsessive preoccupationwith feelingsofothersaschildrenoftenresultsinadultswhosufferintense emotional ups anddowns.
4. Someresearch suggestsanabsenceofempathyorcaringcansometimesstemfromaneural deficit.
Absence ofEmpathy
1. Emotional detachment toself, another person,or cause/situation.
2. Blottingoutempathyis part oftheemotional cycleofvictimization.
3. Sexualabuse:I’mnothurtingthechild, justshowinglove.”
4. Rape:"Shewasjustplayinghardtoget."
5. Physical abuse: "This is for yourowngood."
6. Emotional abuse: "ConstructiveCriticism."
7. Spouseabuse: "Keepherin line."
The Empathy Quotient (EQ)
The Empathy Quotient (EQ) is intended to measure how easily you pick up on other people's feelings and how strongly you are affected by other people's feelings. Please read each of the 60 following statements very carefully and rate how strongly you agree or disagree with them by circling your answer. There are no right or wrong answers, or trick questions.
Take the test
Work out your EQ score using the points system explained at the bottom of this page.
Statement / Strongly Agree / Slightly Agree / Slightly Disagree / Strongly Disagree1. I can easily tell if someone else wants to enter a conversation
2. I prefer animals to humans
3. I try to keep up with the current trends andfashions
4. I find it difficult to explain to others thingsthat I understand easily, when they don'tunderstand it first time.
5. I dream most nights.
6. I really enjoy caring for other people.
7. I try to solve my own problems rather than discussing them with others.
8. I find it hard to know what to do in a social situation.
9. I am at my best first thing in the morning.
10. People often tell me that I went too far in driving my point home in a discussion.
11. It doesn't bother me too much if I am late meeting a friend.
12. Friendships and relationships are just too difficult, so I tend not to bother with them.
13. I would never break a law, no matter how minor.
14. I often find it difficult to judge if something is rude or polite.
15. In a conversation, I tend to focus on my own thoughts rather than on what my listener might be thinking.
16. I prefer practical jokes to verbal humour.
17. I live life for today rather than the future.
18. When I was a child, I enjoyed cutting up worms to see what would happen.
19. I can pick up quickly if someone says one thing but means another.
20. I tend to have very strong opinions about morality.
21. It is hard for me to see why some things upset people so much.
22. I find it easy to put myself in somebody else's shoes.
23. I think that good manners are the most important thing a parent can teach their child.
24. I like to do things on the spur of the moment.
25. I am good at predicting how someone will feel.
26. I am quick to spot when someone in a group is feeling awkward or uncomfortable.
27. If I say something that someone else is offended by, I think that that's their problem, not mine.
28. If anyone asked me if I liked their haircut, I would reply truthfully, even if I didn't like it.
29. I can't always see why someone should have felt offended by a remark.
30. People often tell me that I am very unpredictable.
31. I enjoy being the centre of attention at any social gathering.
32. Seeing people cry doesn't really upset me.
33. I enjoy having discussions about politics.
34. I am very blunt, which some people take to be rudeness, even though this is unintentional.
35. I don’t tend to find social situations confusing.
36. Other people tell me I am good at understanding how they are feeling and what
they are thinking.
37. When I talk to people, I tend to talk about their experiences rather than my own.
38. It upsets me to see an animal in pain.
39. I am able to make decisions without being influenced by people's feelings.
40. I can't relax until I have done everything I had planned to do that day.
41. I can easily tell if someone else is interested or bored with what I am saying.
42. I get upset if I see people suffering on news programmes.
43. Friends usually talk to me about their problems as they say that I am very understanding.
44. I can sense if I am intruding, even if the other person doesn't tell me.
45. I often start new hobbies but quickly become bored with them and move on to something else.
46. People sometimes tell me that I have gone too far with teasing.
47. I would be too nervous to go on a big rollercoaster.
48. Other people often say that I am insensitive, though I don’t always see why.
49. If I see a stranger in a group, I think that it is up to them to make an effort to join in.
50. I usually stay emotionally detached when watching a film.
51. I like to be very organized in day to day life and often make lists of the chores I have to do.
52. I can tune into how someone else feels rapidly and intuitively.
53. I don't like to take risks.
54. I can easily work out what another person might want to talk about.
55. I can tell if someone is masking their true emotion.
56. Before making a decision I always weigh up the pros and cons.
57. I don't consciously work out the rules of social situations.
58. I am good at predicting what someone will do.
59. I tend to get emotionally involved with a friend's problems.
60. I can usually appreciate the other person's viewpoint, even if I don't agree with it.
How to work out your EQ score
Score two points for each of the following items if you answered 'definitely agree' or one point if you answered 'slightly agree': 1, 6, 19, 22, 25, 26, 35, 36, 37, 38, 41, 42, 43, 44, 52, 54, 55, 57, 58, 59, 60.
Score two points for each of the following items if you answered 'definitely disagree' or one point if you answered 'slightly disagree': 4, 8, 10, 11, 12, 14, 15,18, 21, 27, 28, 29, 32, 34, 39, 46, 48, 49, 50
All other questions are not scored.
What your score means
On average, most women score about 47 and most men about 42. Most people with AspergerSyndrome or high-functioning autism score about 20.
0-32 = You have a lower than average ability for understanding how other people feel andresponding appropriately.
33-52 = You have an average ability for understanding how other people feel and responding appropriately. You know how to treat people with care and sensitivity.
53-63 = You have an above average ability for understanding how other people feel and responding appropriately. You know how to treat people with care and sensitivity.
64-80 = You have a very high ability for understanding how other people feel and responding appropriately. You know how to treat people with care and sensitivity.
What type of brain do you have?
The Systemizing Quotient (SQ)
The Systemizing Quotient gives a score based on how interested you assess yourself to be in each of the following forms of systemizing. Systemizing is the drive to analyse and explore a system, to extract underlying rules that govern the behaviour of a system; and the drive to construct systems. Please read each of the following 60 statements very carefully and rate how strongly you agree or disagree with them by circling your answer. There are no right or wrong answers, or trick questions.
Take the test
Work out your SQ score using the points system explained at the bottom of this page.
Statement / Strongly Agree / Slightly Agree / Slightly Disagree / Strongly Disagree1. When I listen to a piece of music, I always notice the way it's structured.
2. I adhere to common superstitions.
3. I often make resolutions, but find it hard to stick to them.
4. I prefer to read non-fiction than fiction.
5. If I were buying a car, I would want to obtain specific information about its engine capacity.
6. When I look at a painting, I do not usually think about the technique involved in making it.
7. If there was a problem with the electrical wiring in my home, I'd be able to fix it myself.
8. When I have a dream, I find it difficult to remember precise details about the dream the next day.
9. When I watch a film, I prefer to be with a group of friends, rather than alone.
10. I am interested in learning about different religions.
11. I rarely read articles or WebPages about new technology.
12. I do not enjoy games that involve a high degree of strategy.
13. I am fascinated by how machines work.
14. I make it a point of listening to the news each morning.
15. In Math, I am intrigued by the rules and patterns governing numbers.
16. I am bad about keeping in touch with old friends.
17. When I am relating a story, I often leave out details and just give the gist of what happened.
18. I find it difficult to understand instruction manuals for putting appliances together.
19. When I look at an animal, I like to know the precise species it belongs to.
20. If I were buying a computer, I would want to know exact details about its hard drive capacity and processor speed.
21. I enjoy participating in sport.
22. I try to avoid doing household chores if I can.
23. When I cook, I do not think about exactly how different methods and ingredients contribute to the final product.
24. I find it difficult to read and understand maps.
25. If I had a collection (e.g. CDs, coins, stamps), it would be highly organized.
26. When I look at a piece of furniture, I do not notice the details of how it was constructed.
27. The idea of engaging in "risk-taking" activities appeals to me.
28. When I learn about historical events, I do not focus on exact dates.
29. When I read the newspaper, I am drawn to tables of information, such as football league scores or stock market indices.
30. When I learn a language, I become intrigued by its grammatical rules.
31. I find it difficult to learn my way around a new city.
32. I do not tend to watch science documentaries on television or read articles about science and nature.
33. If I were buying a stereo, I would want to know about its precise technical features.
34. I find it easy to grasp exactly how odds work in betting.
35. I am not very meticulous when I carry out D.I.Y.
36. I find it easy to carry on a conversation with someone I've just met.
37. When I look at a building, I am curious about the precise way it was constructed.
38. When an election is being held, I am not interested in the results for each constituency.
39. When I lend someone money, I expect them to pay me back exactly what they owe me.
40. I find it difficult to understand information the bank sends me on different investment and saving systems.
41. When travelling by train, I often wonder exactly how the rail networks are coordinated.
42. When I buy a new appliance, I do not read the instruction manual very thoroughly.
43. If I were buying a camera, I would not look carefully into the quality of the lens.
44. When I read something, I always notice whether it is grammatically correct.
45. When I hear the weather forecast, I am not very interested in the meteorological patterns.
46. I often wonder what it would be like to be someone else.
47. I find it difficult to do two things at once.
48. When I look at a mountain, I think about how precisely it was formed.
49. I can easily visualise how the motorways in my region link up.
50. When I'm in a restaurant, I often have a hard time deciding what to order.
51. When I'm in a plane, I do not think about the aerodynamics.
52. I often forget the precise details of conversations I've had.
53. When I am walking in the country, I am curious about how the various kinds of trees differ.
54. After meeting someone just once or twice, I find it difficult to remember precisely what they look like.
55. I am interested in knowing the path a river takes from its source to the sea.
56. I do not read legal documents very carefully.
57. I am not interested in understanding how wireless communication works.
58. I am curious about life on other planets.
59. When I travel, I like to learn specific details about the culture of the place I am visiting.
60. I do not care to know the names of the plants I see.
How to work out your SQ score
Score two points for each of the following items if you answered 'definitely agree' or one point if you answered 'slightly agree': 1, 4, 5, 7, 13, 15, 19, 20, 25, 29, 30, 33, 34, 37, 41, 44, 48, 49, 53, 55.
Score two points for each of the following items if you answered 'definitely disagree' or one point if you answered 'slightly disagree': 6, 11, 12, 18, 23, 24, 26, 28, 31, 32, 35, 38, 40, 42, 43, 45, 51, 56, 57, 60.
All other questions are not scored.
What your score means
On average women score about 24 and men score about 30.
0-19 = You have a lower than average ability for analysing and exploring a system.
20-39 = You have an average ability for analysing and exploring a system.
40-50 = You have an above average ability for analysing and exploring a system.
51-80 = You have a very high ability for analysing and exploring a system. Three times as many people withAsperger Syndrome score in this range, compared to typical men, and almost no women score this high.
What type of brain do you have?
According to Baron-Cohen's theory, a person (whether male or female) has a particular 'brain type'. There are three common brain types: the female brain, the male brain and the balanced brain.
You can see where you fit by plotting your SQ score on the horizontal axis and your EQ score on the vertical axis on the graph below.
For some individuals, empathising is stronger than systemising. This is called the female brain, or a brain of type E.
For other individuals, systemising is stronger than empathising. This is called the male brain, or a brain of type S.
Yet other individuals are equally strong in their systemising and empathising. This is called the 'balanced brain', or a brain of type B.
The balanced brain would fit on the diagonal in the top right of the graph - this is where both EQ and SQ are equally strong.
The extreme female brain (which would be at the top left of the graph) has yet to be discovered according to Baron-Cohen. The extreme male brain (bottom right of the graph) may be a manifestation of autism.
A key feature of the theory is that your sex cannot tell you which type of brain you have. Not all men have the male brain, and not all women have the female brain. The central claim of this new theory is only that on average, more males than females have a brain of type S, and more females than males have a brain of type E.