Title of Unit: Rock the Personal Essay! Course: 11Th Grade Advisory, Quarter 4 Designers

Title of Unit: Rock the Personal Essay!

Course: 11th Grade Advisory, Quarter 4

Designers: Charroppin and Quigley

Starting Date: April 16, 2012

Duration: 8-9 weeks, 23-28 lessons

Enduring Understandings: Students will understand that…

§  The college essay is really your only opportunity in the application process to “control the message” about what you are all about. Unlike grades, test scores, family background, and recommendations--which are all difficult (or even impossible) to change—you can rework the essay easily until it’s exactly what you want it to be.
§  There’s no “right” essay topic. Yes, there are danger topics, but it’s all about finding a topic you can develop really well and one that highlights your individuality. Every human being—even the most boring individual who has the least exciting life history—has the material to write an awesome college essay.
§  Know your audience. The people reading your essay are not gods. They’re real people—some of them just college graduates or even undergrads—who will have read hundreds of essays before getting to yours. They don’t just want to be informed; they want to be engaged and even slightly entertained.
§  The personal statement gives you the opportunity to honor the struggles and hardships you may have faced.

Essential Questions: Students will wonder…

§  EQ: What messages do I need to give the world?
o  Topical: Of those messages, which highlight who I am to a college admissions team?
o  Topical: What lessons and insights have my struggles taught me?
§  EQ: What is my writing voice?
o  Topical: How do I express that writing voice so it enhances my message?

Specific Content Knowledge: By the end of this unit, students will know…

§  Application components and the order they’re read:
1.  “Numbers”: class rank and SATs
2.  Info about family: parents’ employment and education
3.  Transcript
4.  Counselor’s report
5.  Teacher recommendations
6.  Student’s application
7.  Personal Statement
§  How admissions officers weight components:
§  “Danger Topics” for the college essay:
o  The Trip
o  My Favorite Things
o  Miss America
o  Jock
o  My Room
o  Three D’s (discipline, determination, and diversity)
o  Tales of My Success
o  Pet Death
o  Autobiography
§  Qualities of a successful college essay

Specific Skills: By the end of this unit, students will be able to…

§  Identify the key characteristics of sample college essays that make them successful.
§  Use the writing process to write a college essay.
§  CCSS:
RL.11-12.2. Determine two or more themes or central ideas of a text and analyze their development over the course of the text, including how they interact and build on one another to produce complex account; provide an objective summary of the text.
RL.11-12.3. Analyze the impact of the author’s choices regarding how to develop and relate elements of a story or drama (e.g., where a story is set, how the action is ordered, how the characters are introduced and developed).
RL.11-12.5. Analyze how an author’s choices concerning how to structure specific parts of a text (e.g., the choice of where to begin or end a story, the choice to provide a comedic or tragic resolution) contribute to its overall structure and meaning as well as its aesthetic impact.
W.11-12.3. Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective technique, well-chosen details, and well-structured event sequences.
a.  Engage and orient the reader by setting out a problem, situation, or observation and its significance, establishing one or multiple point(s) of view, and introducing a narrator and/or characters; create a smooth progression of experiences or events.
b.  Use narrative techniques, such as dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, and multiple plot lines, to develop experiences, events, and/or characters.
c.  Use a variety of techniques to sequence events so that they build on one another to create a coherent whole and build toward a particular tone and outcome (e.g., a sense of mystery, suspense, growth, or resolution).
d.  Use precise words and phrases, telling details, and sensory language to convey a vivid picture of the experiences, events, setting, and/or characters.
e.  Provide a conclusion that follows from and reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved over the course of the narrative.
f.  Adapt voice, awareness of audience, and use of language to accommodate a variety of cultural contexts.
W.11-12.4. Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development, organization, and style are appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.
W.11-12.5. Develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, editing, rewriting, or trying a new approach, focusing on addressing what is most significant for a specific purpose and audience.

Major Performance Task:

Students will write at least three drafts of a personal essay they intend to submit next year. The final draft they submit will lack only the copy-edits (capitalization, spelling, grammar). Those edits will occur next year.

Rubric/List of Key Criteria for the Major Performance:

See Attached Rubric

Other Interim Assessments of Learning:

§  Checking on early drafts and giving “big picture” feedback
§  Peer reviews and checks
§  Conducting one-on-one writing conferences
§  Collecting “best” draft (just before “final” draft) to give substantial feedback

Helpful Organizing Materials:

§  Writing materials: Extra white paper and lined paper, extra pens and pencils.
§  Keeping it all together: Personal statement journal where students can record all pieces and/or folders where students can store all components and/or a section in a binder
§  Revision materials: post-its (small for short comments; large for rewriting sections), scissors and scotch tape for reorganizing the essay, highlighters for identifying the best parts.

List of Lessons/Activities (All are on the Café, unless otherwise noted.)

Lesson Overview

Understanding Purpose & Audience

/ Lesson 1 (L1): Students take on the role of college committees to evaluate sample applications packets.
L2: Recommend another member of the advisory to think about the positive aspects we all bring.
L3: Overview of the Unit and expectations
L4: Dissect sample college essays to figure out the genre
L5: Get into the brains of the audience (admissions officers) (Thomas and Quigley movie) and know the “danger” topics
L6: Stories that have power and heartbeat (Thomas has the hard copy of the lesson)

Gathering Ideas, Freewriting

/ L7: Expectations of independent writing time & jumping into a free-write
L8: Find the “golden nuggets” of a free-write & doing another free-write
L9: Read sample essay and do another free-write (Not on Café)
L10: Look at actual prompt and do another free-write (Not on Cafe)
L11: Review the past four free-writes to identify “golden nuggets”, guiding ideas, strengths they demonstrate.

Drafting & Revising

/ L12—L13: Unpack rubric/expectations of final personal statement. Students choose one free-write to develop and write body of first draft. (Advisor works one-on-one with struggling students to get them on track).
L14: Type 2nd draft, responding to advisor’s big-picture feedback. (Not on Cafe)
L15: Peer review using Highlighting activity
L16--20: Craft lessons on revising the 2nd draft. Use the “Craft Handouts” posted on the Café. These include the following (you can differentiate this so different kids use different handouts):
·  Energizing Our Verbs
·  Playing with Openings (Writing an Introduction)
·  Writing as Seeing
·  Sentence Combining
After each, students revise their pieces based on the area of focus. Meanwhile, meet one-on-one with students needing extra help.
After doing some or all of these craft lessons, you collect drafts and give substantial feedback.
Editing (abbrev.) / L21: Students write “best” draft based on your feedback.
L22: Students use the “Copy Edits” Handout to make final edits.

Publishing

/ L23: “Publish” the writing: gallery walks, create bound books, read pieces outloud, reading salon,etc.

Calendar for “Rock the Personal Statement” Unit Plan

Monday / Tuesday / Wednesday / Thursday / Friday / Saturday / Sunday
April 16
L1: Evaluating sample application packets / 17
L2: Recommending an advisory peer / 18 / 19
L3: Overview of Unit and expectations / 20
23
L4: Dissect sample college essays / 24
L5: Movie on admissions officers & “danger” topics / 25 / 26
L6: Stories that have a “heartbeat” / 27
30
L7: Expectations of indie writing time, 1st free-write / May 1
L8: Find the “golden nuggets”, 2nd free-write / 2 / 3
L9: Read sample essay, 3rd free-write / 4
L10: Look at actual prompt, 4th free-write.
7
L11: find “golden nuggets” in 4 free-writes / 8
L12: unpack rubric. Students choose 1 free-write. Begin hand writing body of 1st draft / 9 / 10
L13: Finish writing body of 1st draft. / 11
14
L14: Respond to advisor feedback and type 2nd draft. / 15
L15: Finish typing. / 16 / 17
L16: Peer Review using one technique, revise / 18
L17: Peer review using another technique, revise
21
L18: Craft lesson on 5 senses, revise / 22
L19: Craft lesson on verbs, revise / 23 / 24
L20: Craft lesson on introduction, revise / 25
L21: Craft lesson on conclusion, revise
28
No School:
Memorial Day / 29
L22: Craft Lesson on organization and transitions, students revise / 30 / 31 / June 1
4
L23: Respond to teacher’s “hardcore” feedback and type “best” draft. / 5
L24: Continue typing “best” draft and address copyedits check-list. / 6 / 7
No Kids:
Chancellor’s Day / 8
11
L25: Go public! Read, share, celebrate / 12 / 13

Personal Statement Rubric

Dimension / Characteristics of a Successful Statement / Some Characteristics of a Weak Statement
Relativity to the Prompt / □  You’ve cleverly followed the directions of the prompt by focusing on one central event, quality, or experience / □  The essay doesn’t follow the prompt closely enough. You’re not giving the colleges what they asked for.
Individuality & Originality / □  This piece distinguishes you from other applicants.
□  You send a unique message about yourself.
□  Out of the stacks of essays, I would remember yours—and for all the right reasons. / □  The reader of this probably won’t remember you because the topic/experience/message you’ve chosen—or your slant on that topic/experience/message--doesn’t set you apart from the other applicants.
Introduction / □  You immediately grab my attention and make me want to keep reading. / □  You’re opening doesn’t make me want to keep reading. It’s a bit boring.
Content Development / □  You deeply develop and reflect on the prompt using specific experiences/examples.
□  You show (instead of telling) to get your message across.
□  You offer insight and give me something to think about long after I’ve finished reading. / □  You’ve used a lot of words to say very little.
□  Your writing skims the surface and doesn’t reflect the deep thinking/insight we know you have on the topic.
Conclusion / □  Your closing is natural, but it doesn’t waste my time by repeating what’s already been said.
□  It “hints” at what you said in the introduction. / □  This ends with a “thud” (Am I missing something here or did you forget to write the rest?)
□  Or the ending just goes on and on, without really saying anything.
□  You use clichés like “in conclusion” or “finally”.
Voice / □  This sounds like you. Your writing captures your personality and I can almost hear you saying this.
□  Your tone is formal, but it also keeps the reader engaged. / □  This sounds like somebody else. Reading this, I wouldn’t think it came from you.
□  You have either an overly-casual or overly-formal tone.
Language use & Style / □  Your language and style greatly enhance your message.
□  Sentences vary in length and type so I can imagine you actually saying them out loud.
□  Language (especially verbs) is vivid and brings your message to life.
□  Word choice is specific, but you didn’t overuse the thesaurus to make yourself sound smart.
□  You avoided slang and clichés
□  You use the active voice. / □  The language and style take away from your message.
□  Sentences all have the same rhythm….which puts me to sleep.
□  Either language is too general and bland (words like “Bad”, “great”, “nice” don’t help me visualize what you’re saying) OR you’ve incorporated too many thesaurus words that make you sound fake.
□  Too much passive voice.
Organization / □  There is a logical flow and structure to the essay.
□  Each paragraph of the essay is also organized on its own.
□  Effective transitions are used to connect parts of the essay. / □  It’s difficult to follow the message of the essay because it’s disorganized.
□  Sections seem like they were just dropped in—they don’t lead out of previous sections.
Conventions / □  There are no errors with grammar, spelling, capitalization, or punctuation. Because of this, I take you seriously. / □  There are errors. These distract me from the writing and I lose confidence in you.
Formatting / □  12-point font
□  Times New Roman or Ariel Font
□  Black
□  Double-spaced
□  One-inch margins / □  Formatting not followed

The Personal Statement Project

Overview

Advisory/English Language Arts 11X

Under Pressure!

All you need to do is write 600 words. Sounds simple, right? Yet those 600 words might be the deciding factor in your acceptance to a college. This is why most high school students find the personal statement to be the toughest essay they’ve ever written. You have to figure out a way to incorporate the best of yourself into one single piece of writing. The topic, the style, the beginning and the ending—all of it needs to align in your favor because it’s the only part of your application that gives the admissions officer a glimpse into your soul. Oh, and it’s the very last thing that officer will look at before deciding whether or not to accept you. In this case, last impressions are more important than first impressions. We’re sweating just thinking about it!

But fear not. Every one of you can and will write an amazing essay. It’s just a matter of following some simple steps, learning the tricks, and trusting the process. The best part is that you’ll be guided by your advisor--someone who knows you well and who has written a few of these essays already.