Skills and Techniques for Counseling Sessions

Part 1 Module 4 Chapters 4-8

Skills and Techniques for Counseling Sessions:

In addition to just hearing the words of a member, we should watch for other communications
Uneasiness – they get shy, over-explain something to you, they keep checking their watch
Sudden change in eye contact – more contact can show they are passionate, upset, or even angry about something. Less eye contact can mean that they are embarrassed about something, or they know they made a bad decision or worry about criticism.
Voice tone – Are they quite, loud, has their tone changed, do they sound frustrated, overwhelmed?
Rate of Speech – Do they speed up their explanation
Practice watching and listening attentively and trying to read the members reaction to your conversation. Practice when interacting with co-workers.
Pacing – match the posture (voice tones) and energy level of the member.
If you are a complete opposite to them, they may not feel like they connect with you. Or they may feel that you are so different than they are as a person that your counseling may not seem as effective to them. It is hard for them to think you understand them.
Blending – match your vocabulary, rate of speech, and tone to mirror those of the client. You don’t have to match them exactly, but adjusting to their style will help the conversation feel more natural.
Make it natural, don’t try too hard. There are some styles/vocabularies that you cannot match, you don’t want your adjustment to be so drastic that the member feels you are mocking them.
Remain professional. Don’t go overboard, remain objective and maintain the counselor member boundaries.
Do you speak differently when with different people?
I do – Brothers, Friends, Co-workers, Clients,…
Sometimes I use a reverse of these Matching principles though.
If a client is upset or frustrated, and their emotions begin to boil in their voice, I will slow down my speech and lower my volume. I often try to have them subconsciously match my voice tones and style. It can provide a calming effect.
Remain interested, and help the member to feel you are interested.
Find ways to leave your other work or clients outside of your current session. When the member enters the room/phone for a counseling session, they should be the only situation you are thinking about.
I want my clients to know that they have my full attention. If they arrive early to an appt, or I need to make some quick notes, I will invite them in. I will then ask their permission to take a moment to notate my last clients file so that I can in turn give them my undivided attention. Tell them that they can expect your all during the session.
Asking proper questions:
Closed ended questions (Yes/No or Multiple Choice) don’t allow you to gather that much information. They can also be leading or make members feel uncomfortable if they feel they will give a wrong answer.
Ask Open ended questions that allow you to understand the client’s perspective.
Tell me about…, help me understand…, what are your thoughts about…, what solutions/options have you been thinking about?
When a member feels uncomfortable…I have two opinions about this…
It is bad to make them feel uncomfortable, because they may react by closing down and not sharing the full situation or their emotions about their finances.
This would stop all progress in assisting them
On the other hand, when the member is uncomfortable, you realize that you have found an area that may be key to discovering how to assist the member.
We may have found an area of their finances that they know needs attention. And by addressing it, we may be empowering them to Take Control of their Finances.
If you sense that a member is too uncomfortable, and it may be causing them to close down, take corrective action.
It takes practice to know how to read their facial expressions/voice-tones/etc
When I feel they are too uncomfortable, I often am very blunt. I just say “I know that many of the money decisions we are discussing are hard to talk about. We are making progress. I feel like we should leave this topic for now, and we may come back to it again in the future. What else should I be aware of before we change direction with our conversation”?
Reframing – help the client to change their perspective. If they tell you that they are worried they are going to lose their home, you can respond by stating that it is good to understand their motivations as it will help you assist them in evaluating their options.
If you are having a difficult time explaining how your advice will help them, tell them a similar story about another client you have worked with. Tell them how making a similar change affected the previous family’s life. Remain Positive. The glass is half full, not half empty.

The Counseling Process:

Dependency – We want to teach the member how to make their own decisions, not always rely on us. This can be done with questions and making notes. Ask them what options they feel they have, which option appears preferable and why, what their overall goal is, what would they need to do each month to accomplish the goal and how long it would take…
If the consumer is constantly asking my opinion, I will give it to them after prefacing my advice with a thought. I tell them that although I have my particular thoughts, I may not fully understand their situation like they do. I then discuss pro’s and con’s of my opinion or recommendation and ask them to help me fill in the blanks. What other pro’s/con’s do they see?
Binary Decision Making – This is like making categories or buckets, and asking the member to order their decisions.
List each of the following expenses as a “Need or Want”, “Absolute Necessity or Nice to have and Convenient”
Let them know that this is their opinion. When a member begins a lengthy explanation about a particular item, they may really be trying to justify something to you/themselves.
Force Field Analysis – I have not used this before, and REALLY liked it. I may use this in some upcoming sessions. *Using cable/Satellite as an example-
If I cut the cable/satellite, what forces will oppose it? – Kids not happy, say their bored. Spouse upset that they no longer have certain channels
If we reduce the channels or package – Will we be cutting anything that the family would be upset by? Are they more willing to do this if they still get to keep some channels?
We can keep the current service if others will help find the savings…motivate the rest of the family to step in. Are there others that are willing to help with the expense, or lower other expenses to keep this particular item?

Offering Referrals to Members:

When making referrals to another agency, I often tell people that I am recommending that they also seek services from other organizations as it will help us to assist them in achieving their financial goals
Develop an internal resource guide to assist the client.
OR have the client call 211 (run by the Utah Foodbank) to find the service they need. Call with the client in the room, show them how easy it is to find assistance agencies.
Meet with local community groups, they may be able to direct you to agencies or programs in your area that you are not familiar with.
Many of the middle income families we are currently serving have a difficult time with any type of social service. They have been self sufficient, and they don’t want to partake of those vital resources. I tell them that by utilizing the resources that are available, they will more easily be able to recover financially and move past this time in their life. I often tell them that the services were designed exactly for the situation in which they find themselves.
They must also feel comfortable and know they have a right to privacy. Before sending someone’s contact info to an agency, I will always ask if they will allow me to pass their contact information along. Even better, I prefer to do a three way call (phone) or call directly to the agency. I introduce the person, briefly describe their needs, and hand the phone over and leave the room. I have them alert our secretary when they are done with the phone.
Let them know what to expect. If they visit another agency, what could the receive assistance with, what questions do they have, does the service sound like something that would realistically assist them?
Recognizing Anxiety/Addiction/Abuse problems:
Use common sense. Just listen to their needs, how closely would you listen to a good friend or family member? Give them the same attention.
Depression, loss of motivation, Secretive behavior, marital stress,
Unexplained loss of money in the budget
Are they fearful of a spouse knowing about the finances, are they hiding?
Do they show signs of physical abuse, do they express feelings or thoughts of suicide, do they seem withdrawn?
This can be a hard transition to refer them. I will often give a generic statement like “we are currently seeing many families who are affected by the stresses of money issues, and we recommend you speak with health professional if your finances are affecting your well being…” and then move on.
If things appear more serious, I will tell the client that I see signs that indicate an extremely high level of stress. Although this can be a great motivator for them to make changes, I want them to consider calling a health professional to set an appointment before they leave our office. I tell them that it is common to feel overwhelmed, and that professional help is highly recommended.

Directing Members to Community Resources:

Refer back to their financial institution for lending/credit needs
Department of Consumer Protection
Credit Bureaus
Department of Workforce Services
Unemployment, Workers Comp, Child Care, Welfare
Medical Assistance (Medicare, Medicaid, WIC, UP
Food assistance – Funds available through agencies, and also food directly from pantries
Community Action – Utility Assistance
VITA-Free tax assistance
Housing Department – Foreclosure Intervention
Mental Health Services (addition and recovery, marital issues)
Utah State Bar, Utah Legal Services