Parshas Bamidbar- V'sen chelkenu b'sorasecha
In our davening we say, “V’sen chelkenu b’sorasecha,” we ask Hashem to give us our portion in Torah. Every Jew has to realize that he has his own portion in learning Torah and in Avodas Hashem. Sometimes people compare themselves to others and they say," this one can learn at a much higher level than I," or "this one does all these things so well and I don't." And because of the comparison the person gets a little down or depressed. This is a mistake[i]. So we ask Hashem, “V’sen chelkenub’sorasecha,” we have to work on achieving our portion in Torah.
Rav Nevenzahl shli"ta discusses this at length in his sichot[ii]. Each Jew has to learn and discover his own chelek in Torah. It is not my job to be like my friend, it is my job to do as well as I can to achieve my own chelek. A person has to think that given his background and his strengths, how well he is doing in his learning and Avodas Hashem. That is what “V’sen chelkenu b’sorasecha” means.
As Shavuos, Zman Matan Toraseinu, is approaching, each one of us has to focus on the following question. Given my kochos in life and given my background, how well am I doing in achieving my chelek in Torah[iii]. Rav Nevenzahl (Sichot Vayikra, p.271) offers a beautifulmashal regarding this idea. When the army sends out draft notices, each person receives the same draft notice to come and sign up to register for the army. However, each soldier is given his own particular job in the army. Some soldiers sit behind the desk, some soldiers are foot soldiers, and some soldiers serve in a tank. And even if two soldiers serve in a tank, they are in different tanks playing slightly different roles. The nimshal is, that Hashem gave us the Torah; we all experience the same Matan Torah. Yet, each person learns and uses and applies the Torah to his particular circumstances in life.
In this week'sparsha, we find that Hashem counts Am Yisroel. What exactly was the purpose of this counting? The Ramban (1,45) offers several explanations. One of which is as follows: The reason for the counting is similar to the practice that governments have before fighting a war. Am Yisroel is about to enter into Eretz Yisroel and fight a war and the Torah generally does not rely on miracles. Therefore, Moshe had to know the number of people ready to fight in order to decide what to command each of them when drawing up the battle lines. This is why when Am Yisroel is counted, the posuk emphasizes that Hashem is counting "Kol yotzaitzava," all those who go out to the army, because the census was for the purpose of determining the number of men that would go forth to war. This is one pshat that the Ramban gives.
We always readBamidbar before Shavuos. The meforshim assume that there is a link between Bamidbar and Shavuos[iv]. After hearing Rav Nevenzahl’s mashal about the army, I thought that maybe one could connect this idea of the Ramban and "V’sen chelkenu b’sorasecha" and then develop another aspect of the connection between Bamidbar and Shavuos. Am Yisroel is counted in Bamidbar. As the Ramban explains, Moshe had to know the number of Bnei Yisroel so that he could give each person his own particular job in fighting in the army. So too before Shavuos, as we are coming to reaccept the Torah, each person has to think about his personal Avodas Hashem, and look inward and rededicate way himself to applying the Torah in the best possible way to his particular circumstance in life. We have one perfect Torah with one Matan Torah, which is applied into everyone’s unique life in a particular way.[v]
Each one of us should be zocheh this Shavuos to upgrade our own personal connection to Limud Torah and our own personal level of Avodas Hashem.
Good Shabbos and Chag Sameach,
B. Ginsburg
[i]There is one type of comparison that can have positive results. Chazal use the term Kinas Sofrim. Kinas Sofrim means that you recognize your friend’s strength, and you are jealous, and you say, "If he could do this, so can I!" That inspires you to serve Hashem even better. That is something positive that helps a person grow. But many times the comparing leads to depression and is something that we have to avoid.
[ii]Sichot Vayikra, Sicha 22
[iii] Often, a person needs guidance in this area. Sometimes an older mentor or Rebbe can help someone figure out if they are putting their efforts in the right place and are really trying to achieve their own personal chelek.
[iv]See for example the Dorosh Moshe p. 110
[v]I mentioned this possible connection to Rav Nevenzahl shli”ta and he smiled and said ”yafeh meod”. The truth is, is that he always smiles when he is discussing Torah, so that does not prove much; however, he does not always say yafeh meod.