Talking Points for Clergy on Marriage Equality

July 15, 2005

The key points listed below will help you when meeting with your legislator. Keep in mind your beliefs and stories are the most important part of your message.

  1. Defining marriage as the union of one man and one woman discriminates against faith traditions that define marriage by the love and commitment of two people and the nature of their relationship, not their gender.
  1. Religious and Civil Marriage are separate institutions. All clergy remain free to choose whom they will marry. Civil marriage for gay and lesbian couples does not force any clergy person to perform same-sex marriages against their will. Marriage equality is a matter of civil government and civil rights.
  1. Because faith traditions differ in their definitions of a religious marriage, marriage equality is also an issue of religious liberty.
  1. Many traditions have been performing same-sex religious ceremonies for years, including the Unitarian Universalist Association, Reform Judaism, and Reconstructionist Judaism.
  2. Those traditions that do not bless gay and lesbian couples in religious weddings are not forced to change their beliefs or practices.

No faith tradition has the right to impose their particular religious beliefs on others. The only way to preserve everyone’s religious liberty is to give every citizen the right to choose whom they will marry-regardless of gender.

  1. Civil Unions are not equal to Civil Marriage. Civil Unions are an inherently discriminatory institution, providing only some of the rights that come with full civil marriage.
  1. By excluding same-sex couples from the institution of marriage, which everyone in our society respects and recognizes, gay and lesbian people are relegated to second-class status. Separate is never equal.
  2. Along with the social benefits of civil marriage, an institution that is recognized and honored in our society, come 3 times as many rights, benefits, and responsibilities as come with civil unions.
  1. Imposing one faith tradition’s beliefs on everyone is divisive. It violates the constitutional guarantee of freedom or religion. It undermines our historic respect for religious diversity and our American values of liberty and justice for all.
  1. As clergy, we have seen that gay and lesbian families are the same as any other family. We have the privilege of knowing and counseling families from all walks of life. We have been by the side of gay and lesbian families through births and deaths, medical emergencies, religious holidays, and celebrations – all the ups and downs of life. While their life experiences are no different from those of other families, we have also seen how taking away their marriage rights would harm them and their children.