Chapter 10

Feelings and Faith

Brian Borgman

“When we see the majesty and holiness of God, then we see our sins for what they are—unpayable debts against divine holiness.”

Warm up:

  1. Memory Verse: “He will again have compassion on us;He will tread our iniquities under foot. Yes, You will cast all their sins into the depths of the sea” (Micah 7:19, NASB).
  1. Think to the last time you were hurt by someone and you were faced with the biblical requirement to forgive them.
  1. What were some of the emotions you experienced?
  1. What were some of the excuses or hindrances that prevented you from forgiving them from the heart?
  1. What were your values and evaluations that affected or motivated your conduct?
  1. Is there any bitterness in your life toward that person today?

Prepare and Discuss:

  1. Re-read Matthew 18:21-35 and answer the following questions:
  1. The First Act (Mt. 18:23-27)(p. 113-114)

In this parable, we are the forgiven servant, and the Master, God. How does knowing that God extended you grace, mercy, and forgiveness for your unpayable debt of sin motivate you to forgive another?

  1. The Second Act (Mt. 18:28-31) (p. 114-115)

When you choose to withhold grace, mercy, and forgiveness toward another, what does it reveal about your heart (pg. 115)?

  1. The Third Act (Mt. 18:32-35)(p. 115)

When we choose to withhold forgiveness from another, what does it reveal about what we value and do not value?

  1. A person cannot truly forgive from the heart, until they understand the depth of God’s forgiveness for their own sin (that’s the point of the parable above). Lest you have forgotten, spend time listing out the undeserved riches and blessings that you enjoy as a believer. What is it that makes God’s mercy, grace, and forgiveness so remarkable toward you, a sinner?
  1. As you consider what you wrote above, why is it so hard to forgive from the heart? Consider the possibilities from your reading. Do any of them resonate with youtoday (p. 116-117)?
  1. According to Borgman, when we say we “forgive” another, whatdoes forgiveness not mean (p. 118)?
  1. According to God’s Word, when we say we “forgive” another, what does forgiveness mean (p. 118)?

Matthew 18:23-35 -

Micah 7:19 –

Jeremiah 31:34 –

Application:

  1. There are two kinds of forgiveness taught in the Bible, attitudinal and transactional.[1]

Attitudinal:

Read Matthew 6:12-15; Mark 1:25; and Luke 11:4. Before you grant transactional forgiveness to another, you must forgive the offender from the heart. This is done in prayer to God.

a)Have you been withholding forgiveness? Toward whom?

b)Write out a prayer that includes confession of your sin of unforgiveness (and any other behaviors such as bitterness, anger…). Then humble yourself before God in prayer.

Transactional:

The next step is transactional. Read Matthew 18:21-22; Luke 17:3-4. Transactional forgiveness is the “action” of personally granting forgiveness to those who have sinned against you and are repentant.

a)Has a brother or sister in Christ come to you repentant, and you have withheld forgiveness from them? What is hindering your obedience to God?

b)If you have granted forgiveness, have you fulfilled your promise and chosen not to remember their sin? Here’s a quick check list to help you be sure you are keeping your word and promise before God.[2]

  • I will not bring the issue up again to the offender (unless it would be for their good).
  • I will not bring this issue up again to others, (unless it would be for their good).
  • I will not bring this up to myself and become bitter and resentful toward the offender in the future.
  1. An unwillingness to forgive another brings misery, heartache, and bitterness. And those who are “stuck” here are behaving as unbelievers (Rom. 3:14, Eph. 4:31). So as we conclude this lesson, it is important to take into account what you have learned from this lesson today and use as a way to examine your life:

a)Could it be that you are not a true Christian? Is your life more reflective of an unbeliever than a believer (See Ps. 7:12-15; Lk 13:3-5; Rom. 3:14; Heb. 12:17)? If so, do not lose heart…”Today is always the day of salvation….talk with your Leader—don’t delay!!

b)In what ways have you allowed “bitterness” over your hurt to become your sole focus and failed to see that your bitterness is exceedingly sinful in the eyes of God?

  1. What were some foundational perspectives in the reading that you plan to apply so that you can move forward in your spiritual and emotional growth?

[1]John and Janie Street, The Biblical Counseling Guide for Women (Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers, 2016).

[2]Ibid, 80.