DEPARTMENT OF SANITY

We regret to inform you that your mind will be seized and used to torture you for the rest of your life.

There is no choice not to cooperate. Resistance in said eviction will only result in symptoms worsening and your life deteriorating. You are not entitled to legal advice nor are you entitled to a lawyer. You have the right to seek a doctor for advice and/or medical treatment.

EVICTION NOTICE

TO:Stephanie Bowser

202 South Ave.

Minotola, NJ 08341

Pursuant to the provisions of RSA 540:2, you are hereby given an eviction notice and notice of loss of santiy, on or before January 16,2008, the premises and appurtenances owned by George Gilles De La Tourette of the City of Loudun, in the Country of France, which premises are now occupied by you.

The reason for this eviction notice is:

//Your failure to be normal and in arrears when demanded pursuant to RSA 540:2 II (a). A demand to be normal was served upon you on January 16, 2008 and you have refused and neglected to be normal for the period June 25, 1990 to Present.

You are hereby notified of your right to avoid this eviction by medication, prior to the expiration of this noticeof all the arrearages plus fifteen dollars ($15.00) as liquidated damages, in accordance with RSA 540:9, provided however that you may not defeat an eviction for non-normalcy by paying the arrearages plus $15.00 after an Eviction Notice is given more than three (3) times in a twelve-month period.

// Substantial damage done to the premises pursuant to RSA 540:2 II (b) as follows:

+Tourette’s Syndrome

+Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

+Attention Deficit Disorder

+Anxiety

// Behavior by you or members of your family which adversely affects the health or safety of the other tenants or the landlord pursuant to RSA 540:2 II (d), or your failure to accept suitable temporary relief due to loss of sleep, as set forth in RSA 130-A:8-a.

Dated: November 3, 2010George Gilles De La Tourette

1234 Twitch Lane

Loudon, France

(Signature)

I hereby certify that on the third day of November, 2010, at3:00 pm I gave in hand to above named, a true copy of the above original notice.

(Signature)

How would you feel if one day you woke up and had no control? A body that was once yours to call your own is not yours at all. You are forced to get up and move out of your own body for something else to move in. Something that is going to control your every move and possibly even your speech. Something called Tourette’s Syndrome. Sounds like fun doesn’t it? Not quite. You are now evicted. You were served a notice of eviction because you did not comply to the rules set forth. Therefore, this new tenant in YOUR body thinks that it can make you move your arm a certain way, blink your eyes as many times as it would like, or even stomp the ground in a quiet room. The new tenant, Tourette’s, now has made your body its home. Your mind is now homeless and helpless. Your mind doesn’t want you to do these things but the new tenant sure as hell does. So your mind has to sit back and watch the tenant live life in the home. Your mind sits next to you on the bed at night when it takes you two hours to fall asleep because the new tenant wants to stay up and party all hours of the night.

January 16, 2008. There I am. Sitting on a flat, cushioned plank that is halfway between a bench and a lounge chair. All my suspicions are confirmed as the doctor says, “Stephanie, you are a freak.” At least those are the words I heard come out of my neurologist’s mouth. What my parents had heard was, “Stephanie, you have Tourette’s Syndrome.” She said it as if I hadn’t already known. HA! I knew it all along. No one wanted to believe me when I questioned it. At 17 years old, I had the resources to diagnose myself without my parents having to take me to a doctor.

I can remember driving in the car or sitting in church with my mother and grinding my teeth with tons of strength. She would sit there and yell at me as if it were an act of misbehaving. I stopped once she yelled, and then maybe five or ten minutes later something in my body made me continue to grind my teeth. The grinding of my teeth turned into the clicking of my teeth. I would sit there and click my buckteeth to my bottom row over and over. The same pattern followed; I would click my teeth, my mother would yell, I would stop, I would start again. At this age, I didn’t think about the reasons behind my actions; I just did them. And there was no reason for me to get angry with my mother. She was doing her job as a mother. She was as ignorant as I was.

I must also add that my brother was diagnosed with epilepsy in 1996. He had a seizure on the playground at our elementary school when I was in kindergarten. At this point in my life, my parents were focused on his health. The three of them traveled back and forth to the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia to visit my brother’s neurologist. At one point, brain surgery was an option and about two weeks away from reality.

What is the chance that both kids in a household would be diagnosed with a neurological disorder at some point in their life? “Genetic studies indicate that TS is inherited as a dominant gene, with about 50% chance of passing the gene from parent to child. Sons are three to four times more likely than daughters to exhibit TS,” states the Tourette’s Syndrome Association. My uncle, on my mother’s side, has the disorder and his daughter also has it. This is the only trace of the disorder in my family we know of.

One symptom of Tourette’s that I am happy I did not get was Coprolalia, the act of involuntary swearing. When you say that you are diagnosed with Tourette’s people automatically respond, “But I don’t ever hear you curse.” Maybe because that isn’t Tourette’s Syndrome? It is a separate disorder. The main reason people question this is because it is portrayed in the media as being the most humorous symptom, which I can understand. Coprolalia is found in people who have Tourette’s, but it is extremely rare. It is also part of other neurological conditions. I am not a cultural taboo! I am a human being.

I cough.

I clear my throat.

I hum.

I blink.

I snort.

I stomp.

I jerk my limbs.

I crack my knuckles.

I shrug my shoulders.

I scratch.

I pick at things.

I whistle.

I tighten my muscles.

I wiggle my nose.

I punch.

I tap.

I kick.

I cannot stop.

I can’t sit still like most people.

I can’t go to movies or sit in an audience without being paranoid that everyone is watching me and not the show.

I can’t set my alarm clock without resetting it multiple times until I feel it is right.

I can’t crack just one knuckle.

I can’t itch one palm without itching the other.

I can’t win a staring contest because one tic of mine is eye blinking.

I can’t play video games because my thumbs like to press buttons they shouldn’t, or not press a button at all because I’m not ready to.

I can’t fall asleep in under two hours.

I can’t hear weird noises without having the urge to mimic them.

I can’t play hide and seek because the noises I make give up my hiding spot.

I can’t focus in class so I cope by playing with my hair or phone.

I can’t touch my collar bone without punching it.

I can’t have my knees touch together.

I can’t use a mouse on a computer without banging it down on the desk while I use it.

I can’t cuddle with my boyfriend without pissing him off because I move too much from being anxious.

I can’t hear of an action without doing the action myself.

I can’t run or walk without stomping my feet several times.

I can’t drive without tapping the gas multiple times.

I can’t sleep without being fully covered by a blanket.

I can’t openly tell people about my disorder even though I want to.

I can’t think of what life was like without tics.

I can smile.

Works Cited

“District Court Forms.” New Hampshire Judicial Branch. NH.Gov, n.d. Web. 8 Nov 2010. <

“FACTS ABOUT TOURETTE SYNDROME.” Tourette Syndrome Association. Tourette Syndrome Association, n.d. Web. 8 Nov 2010. <