The Perks of Having Detention
By: Aaliyah Thomas
Name: Madeline (Maddie)
Age: 16
Name: Dad
Age: 43
Relationship: Maddie’s father
Name: Oliver
Age: 17
Relationship: Love interest to Maddie
Name: Anna
Age: 17
Relationship: Best friend to Maddie
Name: Mr. James
Age: 45
Relationship: Teacher
[The lights come on to a classroom with three desks next to one another. Oliver is on the left side with his head down. Anna is in the middle desk with her head down. A chalk board is in front of the desk and in a desk sits Mr. James who also has his head down. Maddie is standing in front of the scene with her head down. A light comes on to her and the rest of the stage goes black.]
MADDIE
People say love is infinite and I say they're wrong. Love is a concept we make up as we search for the answers that we’ll never find. Love is described as a bubbly feeling inside of your stomach; I say that's the beans from last night's chili. Love is said to be something no one can forget, but then explain why my father left us.
[Maddie turns away from the audience and sits in the right desk, next to Anna. She lowers her head and there's a pause. Everyone on stage lifts their heads and the scene begins. Mr. James is clicking his pen over and over again. Oliver is writing on his piece of paper. Anna and Maddie are talking lowly.]
ANNA
Maddie, talk to me. I know you must be upset; you've never been the type of person to get detention. This is your third day in a row getting it. What’s wrong?
MADDIE
I really don’t want to talk about it.
Anna
Come on Maddietell me! I really want to know what's going on. I’m your best friend; don't I have a right to know?
Maddie
My dad left. Last Thursday he and my mom got into a big argument. They kept bickering and then my dad dropped a huge secret; He had an affair with a woman at his office. He said it was eating away at him and he wanted to clear his conscious but he said he loved her.
Anna
Maddie, I’m so sorry—
Maddie
Mum was furious with him and made him pack his stuff. He left without saying goodbye and never called my mum or me. My mum hasn't come out of her room in three days. She won’t answer the phone, she won’t eat, and she’s just sitting in there.
Anna
I’m so sorry Maddie. I’m sure he will call you eventually maybe you should call him.
Maddie
I’m not going to call him, that's a dumb idea.
Anna
You dumb? You're the smartest person I’ve ever meant! It wasn't smart of you to get detention but whatever.
Maddie
Oh yeah! How did you get detention?
Anna
Ha-ha, that’s a funny story.
Maddie
Shoot. We got twenty minutes left of detention.
Anna
I was late to class because of Jeremy. We were getting snacks from the vending machine on the second floor…it took us twenty-five minutes to come up with two quarters because Jeremy dropped his under the machine.
Maddie
Sounds like something you would do. Smart but also dumb
Anna
I am not dumb; I just sometimes make incorrect decisions. How did you get detention?
Maddie
I got caught skipping.
Anna
How? It’s not that hard.
Maddie
I was in the bathroom and a teacher came in. She sat there for a few minutes and I guess they realize I hadn't made any noise for a while and asked my name.
[Oliver leans over closer to Anna and smirks at the two. He holds up a sheet of Chemistry homework.]
Oliver
Hello Maddie, you know you're looking mighty fine today. I couldn’thelp but hear Anna gossip about how smart you are, mind helping me?
[Oliver taps the sheet of paper and tries to hand it to Maddie. Maddie looks at him and laughs.]
Maddie
Are you serious? I am not going to do your homework.
Oliver
Please! Smart girls are the prettiest ones.
Anna
Aw Maddie! He called you pretty.
Oliver
Yes I did, she is a beautiful creature given to us by the gods.
Maddie
I didn't know you were religious.
[Pause]
CH4 plus O2 equals CO2 plus 2H2O. What does H stand for? It's so easy!
Oliver
Don’t you remember? I don’t pay attention in class.
Maddie
Come on! Weren’t you paying attention in class?
[There's an awkward pause.]
Maddie
It’s hydrogen.
Oliver
Thank you beautiful! Do you happen to know the next problem as well?
Maddie
Oliver!
[Mr. James stands up from his desk and slaps his pointer against the chalkboard. Maddie, Oliver and Anna all look up at Mr. James.]
MR. JAMES
You girls have been talking this entire time. I could understand if it was in a low voice but you were nearly shouting Madeline.
Oliver
Oh come on Mr. James! She was helping me out with my work.
Mr. James
That's the problem Mr. Snipes. She shouldn't be helping you with an assignment given to you, not her but you.
Oliver
Well I couldn't think of the answer and unless you want me to not do it, I need the help of a beautiful lady.
[Oliver smiles towards Maddie. Maddie scoffs and turns away. Mr. James takes a piece of chalk from the chalkboard and What Is Our Purpose on the chalkboard. He sets the chalk down then moves out of the way so Maddie, Oliver and Anna can see.]
Mr. James
We got about ten more minutes of detention. As you all begin to pack up, I want each and everyone one of you to answer this question in full detail. Oliver, you start.
[Oliver glances at the chalkboard.]
Oliver
Oh come on! Why do I have to go first?
Mr. James
Because you were already talking, so why not put that mouth to good use.
Oliver
Uhh. How about…Love? Yeah love! I think maybe to love someone unconditionally. Wait that sounds stupid.
Mr.James
No Oliver, it isn’t! Keep going with that thought, I need more details.
[Maddie looks down at her desk and balls her fist up.]
Oliver
Maybe, loving someone with the indent of never leaving them? I mean does that make sense…that is love isn't it?
Maddie
That isn't what love is. You totally oblivious to it, players can’t love, they just leave.
Anna
Maddie…
Mr. James
That’s enough, Maddie.
[Pause]
Anna, why don't you go?
[Anna smiles and clears her throat.]
Anna
Our purpose as multi cellular behinds on the planet we call earth, is to reproduce offspring to the best of our abilities so our species is able to continue growing just as animals and plants do. Without our off spring our species would cease to exist and therefore, we would not be sitting here before you today.
Oliver
That was the dumbest but smartest response to a question I’ve ever heard! I don’t think he meant recite the entire biology encyclopedia!
Anna
That wasn't even a milia-percent of the biology encyclopedia!
Mr. James
Alright. Last but not least, Maddie! Tell us what you think our purpose is.
[Maddie looks up at Mr.Jamesthen at Anna.]
Maddie
I don’t think we have a purpose.
Mr. James
Come again?
Maddie
I don’t think we have a purpose.
Mr. James
What triggers that thought? There must be something we have to do, it doesn't even have to me metaphorical. It can just be something everyone does.
Maddie
We search!
[Pause]
We search for love…we search for freedom. So many people do. My dad, he searched for something new. He wanted something that made him feel free again and he found it. A single woman at the office, he got his freedom but it won’t last, it never does.
[Maddie wipes a stray tear from her eyes and begins to shove her things into her bag.The classroom goes silent for a few moments before a school bells rings. Anna gets up and hugs Maddie.]
Anna
I really think you should call him, this is taking a toll on you big time.
Maddie
What do you mean?
Anna
We’ve been best friends for ten years and I’ve never once seen you cry in front of me, even when you got hit with the dodge ball in third grade.
Anna
Call him and I’ll buy you a snow cone at the concession stand.
Maddie
You have a game tonight?
Anna
Yes and I need my number one to cheer me on.
Maddie
Alright.
[Maddie pulls her phone out of her pocket and calls her father.]
Maddie
Hi. Uhh this is Maddie.
[Maddie’s Dad comes onto the edge of the stage and stands with a phone held to his ear.]
DAD
I have caller ID you know.
Maddie
I know, I just…
Dad
Where are you?
Maddie
I got detention; I’m at the school.
Dad
Madeline, are you serious? I leave for less than a week and you're already into trouble.
[He chuckles but Maddie just sniffles.]
Dad
Are you crying? Whats wrong?
Maddie
Everything Dad.
Dad
How about I come pick you up? We can talk about it.
Maddie
I don’t know, I have a soccer game to go to.
Anna
No, you go with your dad.
Maddie
Are you sure?
Anna
Yeah, I’m sure.
Dad
I’llcome pick you up in ten minutes ok?
Maddie
Okay.
Dad
I love you.
[Maddie hangs the phone up and puts the phone in her pocket.]
Anna
I have to go Maddie, I wish I could wait but my mum is out front waiting.
Maddie
It’s fine see you later!
[Anna exits the stage.]
Mr. James
I have a meeting to go to, don't worry about the door the janitor will lock it.
[Mr. James waves goodbye then exits the stage.]
Maddie
You aren't going to leave?
Oliver
No. The player wants to make sure you get home safe.
Maddie
I’m sorry about that.
Oliver
I understand Maddie you don’t have to apologize. Just know that all guys aren't like your dad, there's good guys out there.
Maddie
Thank you.
[A ringtone begins to play in the background.]
Maddie
That must be my dad; I’ll see you later.
[Oliver stands up and pulls Maddie into a hug.]
Maddie
Why are you hugging me?
Oliver
Because you need it.
[Maddie’s dad enters the stage. He is a tall man with brown hair matching Maddie’s, he is in a formal dress shirt and casual tan shorts. Oliver and Maddie pull away from the hug and Oliver stands up from his seat. Maddie turns around.]
Dad
Whoa, a lot has changed over the past week. Is this your boyfriend?
Maddie
No Dad! It’s not what it looks like.
Oliver
Yeah, uhh. Sorry sir.
[Oliver runs off of the stage.]
Dad
Why’d he run away?
Maddie
Come on let’s go.
[Maddie and her dad lower their heads while the scene changes. Two chairs are next to each other with a steering wheel in front of the right chair. Maddie sits in the wheel less chair while her dad sits in front of the steering wheel.]
Dad
How is your mother? Still angry?
Maddie
No, not at all. The opposite actually, she’s been locked in her bedroom ever since you left. Hasn't answer any calls from Aunt Carly or Aunt Su. She hasn't gone to work and she won’t eat either. She just sits in her room and sobs.
Dad
I never meant to hurt you guys. I just felt suffocated, with work and everything going on…your mother wasn't much help. Janet made me feel something new…
[Pause.]
How’s school been?
Maddie
Nothing's really changed over the course of three days dad.
Dad
No! You were talking to a boy and you got detention. You've never gotten detention in your life!
Maddie
I guess I have now.
Dad
Maddie, you should never get detention. How did you get it in the first place?
Maddie
I was skipping class.
Dad
For that boy? Why?
Maddie
No it wasn't for him. It’s because I don’t want to sit in that classroom in complete silence.
Dad
You've never had a problem with it before.
Maddie
Well I do now!
[Maddie starts to cry.]
Dad
Maddie, why are you crying?
Maddie
Why’d you have to hurt her dad? Why'd you have to cheat on mom? She did everything for you! Cooked you dinner every night, washed your clothes, she organized your desk everyday while you were at work. She’d always make sure she was awake when you got home, even if it was at two in the morning. She never took showers because she was afraid it'd be cold when you got home. Every single time we went out to the grocery store, the first thing she got was your corn pops cereal.
Dad
I…I…
Maddie
She was always thinking about you! She’d hummed the songs you listen to on you mp3 player. Every breath she took in was for you she lived for you.
Dad
I know but she was suffocating. The problem was she needed me more than I needed her. She shouldn't only have to worry about me. What about you? What about herself? I was drowning in her unconditional love.
Maddie
What do you want from her? What can you possibly want that she hasn't given you already a thousand times?
Dad
You wouldn't understand Madeline. Sometimes the same old things get old.
Maddie
But you didn't tell her that! You never expressed your concerns, you went to work and dilly-dallied with Janet while mom was at home waiting for you. You’d come home and kiss her with your filthy mouth and act like everything was ok. Like you hadn't kissed another woman with that same mouth.
Dad
Maddie this doesn't concern you. You're a child and you meddling with adult affairs, this shouldn't affect you. Just because your mother and me are taking some time apart, doesn't mean you can talk to me like I’m one of your friends.
Maddie
This does affect me! Look at me, I’m crying and I’m getting detention. I can’t sleep at night because mom is sobbing so loud. It's like she's inside my head screaming for you to come back but you won’t! Can’t you see that she's not the only one who is hurt?
Dad
I just…
Maddie
Where are you going to live? What's going to happen to the house? Who’s going to promise to paint the shed? Whats mom going to do after your gone and the divorce is final?
Dad
I haven't thought all that out yet but I’ll be fine Maddie. I’ll talk it out with your mother once things have settled down. I never wanted to hurt you Maddie, I just wanted a new kind of love. The love your mother and me had when we were kids. That bubbly feeling you get, when you look at someone and just know they are the most beautiful things in the world.
Maddie
That doesn't exist! I can’t understand you, you left mom because she loved you. But if she hadn't been so loving to you, you'd still have left. I hate men, I hate how they can drop any feelings they have in seconds.
Dad
Maddie I still love your mother, I love her unconditionally just as she does me. I messed up, I know I did and big time.
Maddie
How are you going to fix this?
Dad
I’m going to start with setting things straight with Janet. But I don't know if your mom will let me come home. She kicked me out after all.
Maddie
Janet’s an ugly name.
[Maddie and her dad laugh.]
You left mom for a girl name Janet.
Dad
Oh but Janet isn't half of the beauty your mother is.
Maddie
I think she’ll forgive you. Not entirely but enough for you two to still live together.
Dad
I’d never do that to your mother. I’d never ask her to take me back in, I’ll only come back if she asks me to.
Maddie
I hope she does, who's going to come to Anna’s game and cheer with me.
Dad
Even if she doesn’t, I’d still do that with you.
Maddie
Promise?
Dad
I promise.
[The stage goes quiet. Maddie stands up from the seat and waves. Maddie lowers her head as Dad exits the stage and the two chairs are removed from the stage. A ringtone goes off and Maddie lifts her head and reads it aloud. From Anna, I just want to say I didn't mean to, I was pressured into it.]
Maddie
What is she talking about?
[Another ringtone goes off.]
Maddie
Who’s number is this?
[Maddie answers the phone.]
Hello?
Oliver
Hi Maddie.
Maddie
Oh so that's what Anna was referring to.
Oliver
I only asked for your number.
Maddie
She gave it willingly?
Oliver
Yeah. I have a question for you…
Maddie
Sure, whats up?
Oliver
Is it okay if the player asks the pretty girl on a date to the movies this Friday? Its an all expenses paid trip to the new movie Beauty and The Beast, I heard it's the girlies movie out.
Maddie
I’ll only go if we watch Logan.
Oliver
Really? You actually want to see that movie?
Maddie
Yeah, it looks cool.
Oliver
That’s awesome because I really don’t want to watch Beauty and The Beast. Anyway, I’ll pick you up at eight?
Maddie
Sounds good.
[Oliver hangs up the phone. Maddie smiles and walks off stage.]
[Blackout]
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