Things That Annoy Me
Everyone has something that really drives him or her “up the wall.” I usually refer to these as “pet peeves.” Some of my major pet peeves are bad drivers, accusers, and women. I guess I’ll be annoyed with them until the day I die.
My first major pet peeve is bad drivers. Every day I see drivers pull out in front of me going 45 miles per hour in a 55 zone. Then, when they finally get to town, these idiots speed at 45 miles per hour, even though the speed limit is 35. Other bad drivers, such as my friend Joe, can’t talk and drive at the same time. He doesn’t understand that car manufacturers intended for people to keep their hands on the steering wheel when they drive! So, while Joe gestures and waves, telling his stories, his car wanders off the road. But at least he’s not as bad as those aggressive drivers who insist on tailgating with their bright lights on, or those timid drivers who WON’T turn their lights on when they’re needed in rainy or foggy weather. I think some of these drivers need big yellow signs on the front and back that warn, “STUPID DRIVER”; these people need designated drivers even when they are sober!
My next major pet peeve is people who accuse me of doing something I didn’t do, or saying something I didn’t say. Either one of these situations can make me “fighting mad,” even though my own mother is probably the worst accuser I know. She won’t ever admit that she could be wrong, and she has to blame it on someone else (usually me). A similar situation occurred when my girlfriend asked me about something I allegedly said to her ex-boyfriend’s sister. My girlfriend just couldn’t believe that this girl would LIE to her! Perhaps she lied because she was the sister of my girlfriend’s EX-boyfriend? People usually have a reason for their lies and accusations, even though the reasons may not make sense to anyone else except them.
My last major pet peeve is women in general; sometimes I think all the pretty women are either “taken,” or perhaps are gay. I went to a club once and started talking to a nice-looking lady; suddenly, her 6½-foot-tall boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and said, “What’s up dude, why are you talking to my girl?” My response was something like, “Well, EXCUSE me, it takes two, baby!” I started to feel jealous, and I’m not even a jealous guy (usually). Then I saw another really pretty lady and tried to start a conversation, but she was the type of girl who “wouldn’t even give me the time of day.” As I watched her from a distance, she sat down at a table with a tough-looking girl who had short hair and muscles like a football player. I got the distinct impression that these two girls were “players on the OTHER team,” if you know what I mean. So where are all of the girls that I could get serious about, or think about marrying? At this point in time, this is one thing that really annoys me the most about my life.
I’ve given several good examples of the things that annoy me, my pet peeves. Bad drivers can really drive me into an early grave, literally as well as emotionally. Accusers and liars really make me angry; they need to watch out that “the beast is about to turn loose!” As for women, they say “the good die young,” but if they don’t die young, they probably all still have boyfriends (or whatever, as the case may be). My life would be a lot easier if I could just avoid all of the things that annoy me.
Revised 26 August 2003
(635 words, 33 sentences)