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1
- Questionably Legal
Chapter one explains the fact that I’m not a lawyer and that I’m not qualified to offer legal advice. It explains that the contracts and recommendations in this book are offered by a seasoned performer and promoter with 30 years of experience, but that bands might be well advised to consult a registered attorney before actually using them. This protects both you and me from future lawsuits when someone uses one of our contracts and finds out up the road that it didn’t include provisions for who’s responsible in the event of a UFO landing on a crowd during a show. But the good news is, according to the Federal Trade Commission, we’re required to post a notice here that all contracts contained in this book are for entertainment purposes only.
- Getting Your Act Together
This second chapter is about getting ready to rumble. Anybody can promote their way into a major Vegas Casino, regardless of how good, or bad, their act is. Problem is, once you stand in front of a crowd and bomb once, it’ll forever sit in the background and haunt you. A good promoter can get a bad act top billing, but only once. After you’ve tried to perform beyond your ability and talent, you might as well pack it up and go home. Word will be out that you can’t be trusted and that your show made promises it couldn’t keep. We discuss the importance of paying attention to quality, variety and detail. I also break down the 5 major parts involved in doing a show, any show (equipment, talent, venue, promotion and support staff), and how you can make more money by accepting responsibility for more than just your voice and guitar. Finally, chapter two includes a reality check of sorts. Are you serious enough to make the kind of commitment that’ll take you to the top? Are you willing to travel? Are you willing to take the time to promote? Can you stand the typical problems professional performers invariably find themselves dealing with (broken marriages, distanced kids, few “real” friends, etc.).
- Selling the Package
Chapter three offers a general overview of the process of marketing a show. We discuss the importance of offering a solid promo package and how to best use posters, flyers, demo tapes, and show cards to sell and market a show. I also discuss innovative ways to get these various tools at discounts or even for free. This chapter also briefly covers the ins and outs of cold calling, networking and referral business. It’s a chapter aimed at outlining the “big picture” map to success.
- Role Playing
Chapter four is a natural sequel to chapter three. It explains the roles of a talent agent, manager, press agent, PR person, advance man, taxman, lawyer, accountant and ad agency in the career of a successful band. This chapter could be considered an encyclopedic overview of the business. It also offers hints and tips on how to take on some or all of these responsibilities on your own and how to make the overall package a success.
- Club Dates
This chapter discusses all the options available to a band when booking club dates. It covers some of the theory of negotiation, and various industry “tricks” that guarantee you more money and “goodies” in your package. We’ll talk about four walling (renting the hall and doing it all yourself), working for the door, working for a percentage of the drinks, even the implications of working for a percentage of the club ownership. It also discusses copyrights (American and International), trademarks, foreign work permits, contracts (both with clubs and among band members) and how to manage a powerful mailing list.
- Taking It On The Road
Again, this chapter comfortably fits directly following chapter 5. Where local gigs depend on reputation and local following, road gigs are strictly about promotion. Taking It On The Road is a chapter about touring. It discusses the logistics of booking a tour and offers plenty of advice on how to make the most out of the experience. Booking hotels at a discount, “rules” for getting along as you travel, arranging to get your mail, phone calls and messages are all covered in this chapter.
- Working The Media
Getting airplay, arranging for talk show appearances, “sneaky” exposure secrets and what to do once you’re on the air are all covered in this chapter that covers the various aspects of wine and dinning the press. This chapter also introduces you to the concept of press agenting (which was discussed briefly in chapter four) and offers a few examples of successful press agent packages.
- Record Production
Chapter eight covers the gambit of record production. Should you self produce or should you hold out for a larger label? Is it worth it to do it yourself in the garage or should you pay for studio time? How should you market your record? What makes a record sellable? How can tie ins make it easier to promote a record? All the ins and outs of ending up with your own record are covered in this easy to understand, step-by-step guide.
9. Playing For Money
This chapter combines everything explained in the book so far and neatly puts it all into place.
It also outlines;
- How to use various available venues and markets(most that are often overlooked) to make extra income with your music.
And- How to make “supply and demand” work to your advantage.
- Thanks For The Memories
The sad truth of the matter is that only a very select handful of bands actually make it to the proverbial “top”. If your goal is to become filthy rich and a household name, probability says you’re destined to a life of misery and disappointment. In Thanks For The Memories I wrap up this book with a warm, realistic look at the pleasures of being “on your way”. I encourage bands to savor the moments, enjoy the ride. After it’s all said and done, even if they never become one of the “greats” they’ll always be able to say they flew much higher than most and when they came down, they brought with them memories few have shared. Kenny Rogers once said he most enjoyed his life when he was street performing in the streets of San Francisco and wasn’t sure if he’d make enough to pay his hotel bill. I’m suggesting that it’s those “me against the world” experiences that make show business so intoxicating. Anybody who wastes their time looking at pastures on the other side of the river is throwing away the real treasure.
Chapter One
Why You Shouldn’t
Read This Book
Imagine your local janitor deciding he wants to write a book about the intricacies of doing brain surgery. He buys a manual or two and starts organizing his facts. Eventually he ends up with a great looking manual he’s not really qualified to write. But, heck, it has good-looking pictures and the instructions are so simple even a janitor could understand them.
In many ways, that’s exactly what’s happening here. This book is packed full of facts we’re really not qualified to offer you. It makes all kinds of legal suggestions, and we’re not lawyers. In fact, if you decide to take our advice and end up in trouble, we could be liable of some crazy sounding charge that would translate into “trying to act like a lawyer when you’re not”. It also has all kinds of information about how to sell your show to a club owner and a record label, and we’ve never owned a club or record studio.
So why would we decide to write a book on breaking into the music industry? With all the many bands that have tried and failed over the years, what makes us think we’re qualified to offer advice worth paying for?
No, we’re not lawyers, so we can’t officially hand you a contract and tell you it’ll work for you. But we’ve drawn from the experience of plenty of individuals who do know what they’re talking about. We draw heavily on the experiences of a promoter friend of ours who has helped several well know performers make it in the business. We’ve asked several club owners to tell us the secrets to getting booked in quality clubs. We’ve drawn together the advice of agents, entertainers and producers to find out what it takes to make it in the business. One guy that worked closely with us used to do a seminar entitled “This Business Called Show Business” where he carefully researched a lot of the very topics we deal with here.
And this book is written from a press agent’s point of view. A friend of ours has spent 30 years manipulating the media, and creating “events” where there really were non. If you’re old enough to remember the “Hands Across America” event that took place in the mid 80’s, it was based on a concept he created for a similar event in Orange County, California. He’s learned a few sure fire tricks that can work for you, and he’s given us permission to tell you about them. Instead of telling you how to tune a guitar, we’re going to tell you how to talk the local media into giving you free publicity. Instead of trying to explain rate charts to you, we’re going to tell you about George Evans, a Vegas press agent.
A young lounge singer once hired Evans to try and make him a success. Evans went to one of his client’s shows and noticed a girl who had just come out of a wedding chapel quietly walk up and place a rose from her bouquet on the stage at the performer’s feet. It sparked an idea. He hired a group of girls at five dollars each, to attend his next concert and swoon. A couple of them were told to toss roses at the stage. The next day, as the actors got busy, the unpaid mob followed. Women started yelling and kissing the singer’s picture. One of them got so worked up she actually fainted. Suddenly the press couldn’t get enough of this guy who a week earlier wasn’t able to hold 10 people in his crowd. And within a month Frank Sinatra had an easily marked road to stardom laid out before him.
And that’s what this book is about. It’s about making it, as told by those who have. It’s about getting past all the myths and rumors that hold beginning bands down and carefully laying out a roadmap to success. We’re required by law to tell you should probably consult a lawyer before taking any of our legal advice (so consider yourself warned). But what do lawyers know? Do you really want someone who specializes in getting all the child support possible in a divorce decree deciding what’s important to include in your contract? Or would you rather hear it from someone who’s stood on a stage and found the floorboards were loose? Would a lawyer know that Pink Floyd used to include a clause in their agreements that asked for a bowl of red jelly beans to be placed in their hotel room because they knew if the beans were waiting for them, chances are, someone had taken the time to be as meticulous about all the other tiny clauses in their contract? This book could easily be called “A guide to the ‘insiders secrets’ that worked for others”.
And the good news is that, according to the Federal Trade Commission, We’re required to tell you that all advice offered in this book is to be used for entertainment purposes only!
Chapter Two
Getting Your Act Together
Before you’re finished with this book, you’re going to know what it takes to book a show in a major venue. You’ll know all the “insider secrets” that can take you to the top. In fact, I can almost guarantee that if you follow the advice we’ve laid out in this book, you’ll end up with your big break, but it’ll only happen once.
You’ll book that “big time” show at the larger casino, and you’ll bask in the glory of feeling you’ve finally arrived. You’ll go out and buy that smoke machine you’ve always wanted and you’ll mail comped tickets to that High School teacher that told you you’d never make it.
And then you’ll walk out on stage. The lights will go on and the crowd will sit quietly waiting for that first note. Your mother will smile, and your friends will sit up. And you’ll suddenly realize there’s no turning back. It’s too late to perfect that one chord change and you’ll suddenly start wondering if maybe you don’t need some girl in a short skirt up near the front.
And then it’ll all begin. And whatever you do will end up carved in the stone annals of your history. If you make too many mistakes, everybody will know you aren’t casino material. The club manager will probably make a mental note to have his caller ID screen out your calls, as he starts calling his friends to warn them about you. The fans that thought you were great at the corner bar will suddenly be ashamed to admit they ever knew you. And chances are you’ll have to move to another country if you want another “big break”.