The Four Conversations: Daily Communication that Gets Results

Successful change is accomplished in our daily interactions and conversations with people and groups. When those conversations work, things move relatively smoothly. When they don’t, we may notice delays, stress, resentments, upsets, and other barriers to success and satisfaction. You can improve the success of your interactions by using four types of conversationsmore effectively: Initiative, Understanding, Performance, and Closure.

Initiative Conversations
Use for proposing new ideas or goals, launching new projects. Example: Propose that your group start using an agenda for its meetings.
What do you want to accomplish? When do you want it? Why does it matter?
/ Understanding Conversations
Use Q&A to collaborate on clarifyingroles, responsibilities, and plans. Example: Create the plan for how meeting agendas will be created, distributed, and used.
Who is involved? Where are resources and customers? How can we do this?

Performance Conversations
Use requests + promises = agreements to take specific actions and produce specific results. Example: Request people prepare and submit agenda items 3 days before meetings.
“I request you do/deliver _X_ by time _Y_ because____”
/ Closure Conversations
Use recognition of the facts and the people to complete, followup on, and close out whatever has happened. Example: At the next meeting, announcethe new agenda and thank people for submitting items.
Acknowledge, Appreciate, Apologize, and Amend.

Initiative Conversations - Tips: Use the Accomplishment Ingredients to frame the goal.

  • What do you want to accomplish? Give specifics about the future you want to achieve.
  • When do you want it to happen? Give specifics: dates, timelines, and milestones.
  • Why does it matter to you? State the value and say why you care about it.

Understanding Conversations: Use the Resource Ingredients to help others contribute.

  • Who needs to participate? Identify the players in every relevant area.
  • Where is everything? Locate the resources, the customers, the interested parties.
  • How might the work get done? Formulate plans, stages, steps, and tasks to be done.

Performance Conversations: Use requests and promises to get people into action and producing results: create agreements for specific performance outcomes.

  • Ask people to commit to specific results by specific times, and say why it matters.
  • Encourage straight talk. Build confidence and trust by honoring your word.

Closure Conversations: Use the “four A’s of closure” to give and get feedback on what happened.

  • Acknowledge the facts: State the status, what worked, and what didn’t work.
  • Appreciate the people: Recognize accomplishment & contribution.
  • Apologize for mistakes & misunderstandings: Even if it’s not “your fault”.
  • Amend Broken Agreements: Recognize an agreement has been broken and update it.

Leading Effective Meetings: Make meetings useful. Successful meetings require managing the Four Conversations as appropriate to the type and intent of your meeting.
  1. Start with Closure – The four A’s: Acknowledge whatever has happened, Appreciate the people, and Apologize for any mistakes or misunderstandings. Amend broken agreements.
  2. Initiative – Remind people of the purpose or intent of the meeting– whatyou are out to accomplish and why it is important. Include an overview of the agenda, and use visual displays wherever they might be helpful.
  3. Understanding – Take time to clarify whatever is needed and expected. Include any ground rules that apply.
  4. Performance – Develop and confirm agreements for all needed actions and results. Support people making necessary requests or promises to take action and/or produce results. Write down agreements so you can track their accomplishment.
  5. End with Closure – Boasts and Leftovers: Acknowledge what did – and didn’t – get accomplished. Appreciate people for their work and the promises they made. Apologize for mistakes (such as running late, not managing the conversations to completely detail every assignment, etc.) and Amend any broken agreements.Commit to putting in corrections for the next meeting.

/ The FOUR CONVERSATIONS –
Daily Communication
that Gets Results
Jeffrey Ford and Laurie Ford / Best Management Book
Award

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