Location: Carver 305 / Attendees: open to all
Supplies that I need
Scratch paper
Pens
- Word association - Write down the first word that comes to your mind when I say – conflict
- Quick Go around for answers
- First thing that we need to do is to clarify what exactly is conflict
Conflict is when two or more values, perspectives and opinions are contradictory in nature and haven't been aligned or agreed about yet, including:
1. Within yourself when you're not living according to your values;
2. When your values and perspectives are threatened
3. Discomfort from fear of the unknown or from lack of fulfillment.
My presupposition is that conflict is inevitable and often good
Q) Who enjoys conflict?
When you have a fight with someone that you are close with, sibling, parent, friend, significant other who enjoys that?
By the end of our session I hope that everyone will enjoy at least some aspect of those types of situations
- Break people up into groups – Today we are going to learn from each other and we’re going to learn to never fear conflict again. I’m going to ask you questions. You’ll talk about them as a group and then you will let me know what you think and I’ll let you know what I think
- When conflict is bad or negative what are some of the things that it causes?
Hampers productivity – instead of being productive you’re fighting
Lowers morale
Causes more and continued conflicts
Causes all types inappropriate behaviors
- When conflict is positive or useful what are some of the things that it creates
Helps to raise and address problems
Energizes work to be on the most appropriate issues
Helps people "be real", for example, it motivates them to participate – think politics
Helps people learn how to recognize and benefit from their differences
Conflict is not the same as discomfort. The conflict isn't the problem - it is when conflict is poorly managed that is the problem
- As a leader what are some of the ways you can cause conflict with your house or people you are working with
Poor communication – people don’t know what you are doing or what they are supposed to be doing
Personal chemistry - Strong personal natures don't match.
Leadership problems - Inconsistent, missing, blow off role, not willing to work / serve
- As a leader how can you minimize conflict and I want things other than the opposites of what we just discussed
Clarify roles within your house
Get house input before making decisions
Build relationships with the house – Go room to room and introduce yourself. Ask what you can do differently or better
When people do well recognize it – track accomplishments
Have a plan and reveal it to the house
Be orderly – Hold regular meetings, solicit feedback regularly, publish accomplishments regularly
Suggestion box
- Let’s say you’re doing everything right but as we said earlier conflict is inevitable so how are you going to deal with conflict
- Within yourself –
- identify the issue
- write your thoughts down
- talk to someone
- With someone else
- Stay calm and manage yourself
- Talk to the other person as if they are not heated
- Avoid you and use I statements
- Go somewhere private
- Give the person time to vent
- Acknowledge where you agree and disagree
- All else fails talk to CA or HD
Conflict is inevitable and often good, for example, good teams always go through a "form, storm, norm and perform" period. Conflict causes growth. You’re forced to confront a situation and either grow or stay in the conflict. To resolve things give and take is necessary