Unit: So why bother to get married?
About this unit: This unit is designed particularly with Church Secondary schools in mind but it is hoped that it will be useful for use in all schools. It would form a suitable unit for year 10 or a year 9 class beginning a GCSE course (Either long or short) with suitable adaptation to the requirements of the exam syllabus. This is designed as a terms unit in schools which may have up to 10% curriculum time, you will inevitably have to be selective!
The approach encouraged is a series of conversations.
- Conversations with Authority: What does God say?
- Conversations with the Church: What does the Catholic Church, Anglican Church say?
- Conversations with others: What does Society say? What do other faith traditions and secular world views say?
- Conversations with self:What do I say/ what are my lifestyle choices?
Prior learning / Technical Vocabulary / Resources
It would be helpful if pupils
- Had looked at some moral issues from a Christian perspective
- Have an understanding of the way the Bible is used by Christians as a source of authority
Marriage
Wedding
Sacrament
Covenant
Assisted Marriage
Arranged marriage / Recent statistics on marriage, divorce and remarriage (A good recent sociological textbook would be a suitable source)
Video clips from Soap opera
Wedding magazines
Beliefs Values and Traditions. Joy White and Ann Lovelace
Bible on CD Rom with modern translation
Catholic Textbook?
‘Voices from within’ approach sources on Christian etc views on marriage
Expectations
At the end of this unit
Most children will:
(level 6) /
- Give an informed account of Christian belief and teaching about the sacrament of marriage and be able to explain reasons for diversity within and between Christian traditions
- Be able to interpret sources and arguments, explaining the reasons that are used in different traditions to provide answers to ethical and moral questions
- Interpret the significance of different forms of religious, spiritual and moral expression.
- Use reasoning and examples to express to expressinsights into therelationship between the churches teachings and beliefs and world issues.
- They consider the challenges of belonging to religion in the contemporary world focusing on values and commitments.
some children will not have made so much progress and will:
(level 4) /
- Describe and show understanding of Christian sources beliefs and practices in connection with marriage
- Describe and make links between the similarities and differences both within and between religions on the issue of marriage.
- Describe the impact of religion on peoples lives
- Suggest meanings to a range of forms of expression
- Raise and suggest answers to questions connected with marriage
- Apply their ideas to their own and others peoples lives.
Some children will have progressed further and will:
(level 7) /
- Show a coherent understanding of a range of religious beliefs connected with marriage
- Analyse the issues and values connected with marriage
- Account for the influence of History and culture on aspects of religious practice
- Explain that the consequence of belonging to a religion are not the same for all people within a religious tradition.
- Articulate personal and critical responses to questions on ethical issues connected with marriage
- Evaluate the significance of religious and other views for understanding questions of human relationships, society, values and commitments using appropriate evidence and examples.
Key questions / Possible Teaching approaches / Learning outcomes / Teaching points
Secular conversation
Is marriage still relevant today?
How does the Media treat marriage?
What’s the difference between a wedding and a marriage? /
- Thought shower around the word marriage? (we will do this again at the end of unit to see how ideas might have changed)
- Analysis of current marriage, divorce and re-marriage statistics
- Look at media representations of marriage, 4 weddings and a funeral wedding magazines, soap operas, newspaper accounts .i.e. Liz Hurley (2007)
- What do you need to get married? Cost on the internet Wedding planners cost of marriage.
- What’s the difference between a Wedding and a marriage?
- So why do people get married today?
- Most churches will have some sort of Marriage preparation course. Why do you think this is?
- Who can get married?
Do you need to get married in church?
What sort of preparation should you do before hand?
Why do people who have lived together get married?
Conversation with the Church
Why does the church say you should get married? /
- Let’s start with Sex. It’s a good thing! Can you have such a thing as casual sex? What rules would you make for sexual activity in society? Give reasons? What is the churches view of sex? Genesis 2 verse 24,and again Mark 10 verse 5-9. Poss use of Song of Songs.
- How do you show commitment to another person? In the churches view Sex is a sign of exclusive commitment to another person (Life long union). This reflects the love and commitment that God has for us and we should have for him. It’s about giving everything to the other person. Does having sex with someone improve your relationship? (Problem pages analysed a problem page from any magazine, what moral values are underlying the problem page.)
- What’s love got to with it? Passage from Captain Corelli’s mandolin by Louis de Bernieres when the father talks to his daughter before she marries the Italian soldier.
- I Corinthians Chapter 13. How does this sum up the Churches teaching about love marriage and sex. ?
- Using the Biblical passages answer some of the questions from the problem page
Use an increasingly wide vocabulary to explain the impact of beliefs on individuals and communities / The bible is very positive about sex, It is a good thing a gift from God, and it should be treasured as such. With the right group the metaphors in the Song of Songs could be used to make the point that God approves and celebrates erotic sex.
In marriage the love that the couple have for each other reflects Gods love for his creation and reflects the union of Christ with his followers.
What does a Christian marriage involve? How is this reflected in the Wedding service? /
- Marriage as a sacrament
- A look at a marriage service. Watch section of Vicar of Dibley when Hugo and Alice got married. Identify the elements of an Anglican Wedding service include the singing of two become one.
- Consideration of the Vows: What is a vow? Why say vows? A statement of intent about how you are going to live your life Stress said in Church before God and those people that are important to you, Marriage is a public affair for a reason!
- 3 Questions in Catholic service:-
Why does marriage take place within a Mass in a Catholic Church?
Interview couples that are married, ideally a young couple and an elderly couple.
Imagine you are a contestant on the Apprentice. Alan Sugar has asked you to produce a poster campaign to encourage people to marry. You will be judged on your ability to find and explain the Big Idea. Your group will need to do a presentation to sell the idea to Sir Alan’s representative (Your teacher)
- Prayers at end of service. Read Catholic nuptial blessing, stress that this is explaining the purpose of marriage. Devise your own nuptial blessing to reflect your understanding of the purpose of marriage.
- Recently Catholic Churches have begun to use a tripod with three candles that are lit by a member of the bride’s family, a member of the groom’s family and the priest. There is an African proverb ‘That you can’t balance a cooking point on two legs’. Discuss the symbolism of this. What new symbolic action would they like to include in a wedding service?
Understand that similarity and difference illustrate distinctive beliefs within and between the different denominations of Christianity and suggest possible reasons for this.
Use an increasingly wide vocabulary to explain the impact of beliefs on individuals and communities / Citizenship
Opportunity for Moral development
PSHE
What makes a marriage work?
Conversation with other faiths. Assisted and arranged marriage. / Do we have too high expectations of marriage? Look at Wedding magazines, Romantic fiction.
What is it that makes a marriage work? Invite in a couple who have been married for many years.
Or see website
Using this information.
Turn quotes from the above website into a diamond ranking exercise. Use any interview to inform this discussion.
Follow up with a suitable exercise but be careful in choice as many students will be personally involved in these issues and it may not be appropriate to include a formal task
Research how the Parish or the local church supports marriage and family life.
Recap on what’s love got to do with it?
- In western marriages you start hot and grow cold, in eastern marriages you start warm and it grows hot’ discuss
- Do we have too high expectations of marriage? Look at Wedding magazines, Romantic fiction. What message does the medium give about marriage?
- So what makes a marriage work?
- Where the highest divorce rates are Compare Christian and other faith societies. Think of reasons for these trends.
- Match making. How important is it that you marry someone with the same view of life as you? Should you marry someone of the same faith? Same class? Same social interests, financial background?
- Dating agencies/ friends reunited….brides from Philippines?
- Examine the issue of arranged and assisted marriages in Sikhism (make sure they understand the difference) – does this reflect equality? Visit This links to a Sikh Matrimonial website called Shaadi.com This will need using with care but in the ‘ads’ there are useful comments from western Sikhs on why they are seeking a partner through this site. Examine some of these profiles in detail. What surprises them etc
- Possible task: Problem page – give advice to a Sikh girl who has been brought up in the UK but her parents want her to have an arranged/assisted marriage.
- Referring back to the interviews with the couples who have been married for a long time. What would you want in a marriage? What is a recipe for a good marriage? (See active resources for Christianity!). Write an advert for a bride/ write an advert for a wife. Or via verse.
Assisted marriage is where help is given to find a partner that is a suitable match based on background and character, but both partners have the choice to say no. Arranged marriage is where parents decide and there is some degree of compulsion on the couple.
Can you have a Gay marriage? Civil Partnerships /
- Compare and contrast a gay civil partnership ceremony with a Church wedding. Public commitment, legal status. etc
- Would various denominations approve of active Homosexual partnership? The position of the Catholic Church is that you shouldn’t discriminate against anyone; however, as one of the purposes of marriage is to be open to the possibility of children then homosexual partnership cannot be a full married relationship.
Irretrievable breakdown of marriage? Then what? / Be aware of pastoral issues!
Examine some statistics for marriage breakdown in UK.
The church recognises this is a problem, How do the different denominations deal with this issue.
What do they teach about divorce?
How do they handle it when it happens to members of their congregations?
What is their attitude to remarriage?
In groups research what each denomination says about Divorce and how they support members of their churches in that situation.
‘What the Churches say on social and moral issues’ published by RE Today is the best source. Be ware ill informed text books and website. is unfortunately right up the creek on this one so don’t use.
A Quaker view
‘No one would want to give up on marriage without a struggle, but where there are difficulties that are driving the couple into bitterness of mind and heart then there is little reason for staying together because for those couples no spiritual marriage exists.’
A Catholic View
- Annulment refers back to three questions. If answers were coerced then Annulment can take place?
- Divorce is a civil ceremony Catholics are not against Divorce its remarriage that is opposed unless marriage is annulled.
An Anglican priest says ‘In the Anglican church it is left to the priests conscience as to whether remarriage can take place in church
The Orthodox Church would say ‘If they divorce you are excluded from sacraments for 12 months then you are readmitted after a period of mourning and healing for the marriage’
Do you need to get married to show you commitment to another person? / Living together what are its advantages?
- You don’t have to make a definitive commitment; you can try it out first.
- A private arrangement you don’t have to involve others (and God!)
- It shows a greater degree of trust because you are not bound to another person. You can’t take each other for granted because you can easily walk away.
- It avoids the pain of divorce for those who have suffered, its less risky.
Literacy
Citizenship
How can the church support family life? /
Research how the local parish supports family life. If the father is no longer the provider in a family What is the role of the father in a family?
How important is a male role model? What is the role of a man in today’s society?
Return to the very first task. Thought shower the word marriage. Compare with original responses. Have their ideas changed? / Cultural development
Literacy
Suggested Assessment Task:
If your wedding day is the happiest day of your life are you likely to get divorced? Explain and discuss.
If following a GCSE course assessment should link to assessment approach of exam board i.e. passed questions.
For a more creative approach
Agony aunt. Problem page
Respond to a series of letters posing moral dilemmas in the form of letters from people in faith communities covered and some from no religious backgrounds.
Source
How have you successfully completed 25 years or more of marriage?"Keep Living!
John and Lucile Phelan (62 years)
Choosing the right Mate -- one that you Love and Respect, who is truthful, kind and understanding. You should communicate daily and you will be the best of friends.
Mildred and Herschel Weaver (53 years)
1. Be sure you trust each other.
2. Be a good listener.
3. Be compassionate when necessary.
4. Give in on "equal measure" to one another
5. Above all - love each other.
6. Pray together and God will be there for you.
7. Having a sense of humor in life helps enormously.
Richard and Joanne Munly (50 years)
By having the same as well as different interests, an absolute trust in each other, and by always keeping busy.
Gene and Hilde Newberry (50 years)
Pray together and play together; don’t forget to cultivate your sense of humor!
John and Sylvia Teem (45 years)
Make good friends with each other! Constantly remind this friend how much he/she means to you. Use good humor, and a friendly tone of voice. Love each other!
Val and Donna Zadnik (40 years)