Inserting Angled Retelling to Introduce the Story

Introductions…

Inserting angled retelling to introduce the story,

and making forecasting a little bit graceful

Rachel finds it hard to stand up for herself. One reason is because she’s afraid of her teacher. Also, other kids don’t stick up for her. Finally, she can’t find words to express herself.

The story, Eleven, by Sandra Cisneros, tells the story of a girl named Rachel. Rachel finds it hard to stand up for herself. One reason is because she’s afraid of her teacher. Also, other kids don’t stick up for her. Finally, she can’t find words to express herself.

In the story, Eleven, by Sandra Cisneros, a little girl named Rachel desperately tries to convince her teacher that the old, raggedy sweater on her desk does not belong to the her. Mrs. Price, the teacher, doesn’t believe Rachel, and she humiliates her by forcing her to put the sweater on. In the story, Rachel finds it hard to stand up for herself. It seems like she finds it hard because she’s afraid of her teacher, the other kids don’t stick up for her, and mostly, she can’t find the words to express herself.

Elaborating body paragraphs – framing and analyzing evidence,

including angled retelling of the part of the story it comes from…

a progression

One reason Rachel finds it hard to stand up for herself is she’s afraid of her teacher. For example, in the story Rachel wants to tell her teacher the sweater isn’t hers, but it says, “when I open my mouth nothing comes out.” This shows that Rachel can’t stand up for herself.

One reason Rachel finds it hard to stand up for herself is she’s afraid of her teacher. For example, in the beginning of the story Mrs. Price looks around the room, and decides to put the sweater on Rachel’s desk. Rachel wants to tell her teacher the sweater isn’t hers, but instead, it says, “when I open my mouth nothing comes out.” This shows that Rachel can’t stand up for herself because she’s so scared of the teacher she’s almost paralyzed. Mrs. Price is scary. She tells Rachel, “I remember you wearing it once.” But she couldn’t remember that, because it turns out the sweater isn’t Rachel’s. Mrs. Price doesn’t care that she’s humiliating Rachel. It would be hard to stand up to that kind of person.

One reason Rachel finds it hard to stand up for herself is she’s afraid of her teacher. For example, in the beginning of the story Mrs. Price looks around the room, and decides to put the sweater on Rachel’s desk. Rachel wants to tell her teacher the sweater isn’t hers, but instead, it says, “when I open my mouth nothing comes out.” This shows that Rachel can’t stand up for herself because she’s so scared of the teacher she’s almost paralyzed. Mrs. Price is scary. She tells Rachel, “I remember you wearing it once.” Then she turns away before Rachel can talk. The author uses dialogue and small actions to show how awful Mrs. Price is – and to stir up empathy for Rachel. Mrs. Price couldn’t remember that, because it turns out the sweater isn’t Rachel’s. Mrs. Price doesn’t care that she’s humiliating Rachel. It would be hard to stand up to that kind of person.

Bare bones + angled retelling = Simple analysis + elaboration + analysis of author’s craft.

Another reason that Rachel finds it hard to stand up for herself is because other kids don’t stick up for her. In fact, it seems like some of them want to pick on her. For example, when Mrs. Price is searching for someone’s desk to put it on, Sylvia Saldivar says, “I think it belongs to Rachel.” Then Mrs. Price puts the sweater on Rachel’s desk. Then she makes her put it on! That’s when Rachel puts her head down on the desk and starts to cry. None of the other kids comfort Rachel– it’s like she’s all alone. This shows how hard it is for her. She’d have to be pretty tough to stand up for herself in that crowd.

Maybe the most important reason Rachel finds it hard to stand up for herself is that she can’t find words to express herself. When Mrs. Price first puts the sweater on the desk, she’s silent. She can’t tell Mrs. Price it’s not hers, even though she wants to. Then, according to the story, she keeps thinking, “not mine, not mine, not mine,” but she doesn’t say it out loud. Then it happens again. Mrs. Price makes her put the sweater on, and Rachel wants to tell her that it’s a mistake, but she can’t find any words. Her silence shows that one the biggest reasons Rachel can’t stand up for herself is her own lack of words. It must be miserable for her.

It’s so sad that Rachel can’t tell her teacher, or the kids, how she’s feeling. She tells the reader all about her feelings. When she does that, she stirs up empathy. The story shows that you need to speak up to stand up for yourself… and maybe it will stir up empathy.