It’s Not about Me!

Discussion Questions for Week 4: Moving from Resentment to Forgiveness

  1. What insights did you gain from the message this past Sunday? What was most helpful for you? What was difficult for you?
  1. In the message on Sunday the speaker recapped (from last week) some suggested realities about people:
  2. All people are nuts (and so are we)
  3. Everyone has a story (and we don’t know the half of it)
  4. Everyone is doing their best (at least let’s believe that)

Do you agree with these statements? How might these issues lead to hurt and resentment in relationships? How might they also help lead to forgiveness

  1. Take two minutes of silence to contemplate the following question:
  2. What is your level of contentment and peace with how your life has worked out to this point? (Don’t evaluated whether you should feel better or not; simply be honest with yourself and get a sense of how you genuinely feel about this.)

Now take another two minutes to contemplate the following:

  • In light of your level of contentment about your life, do you feel any negative feelings or blame towards anyone? (Again, don’t evaluate whether your feelings are justified or appropriate; just get in touch with what you actually feel.)
  • Do you blame someone else?
  • Yourself?
  • God?

Take another two minutes to contemplate:

  • Why do you feel this way?
  • How have these feelings helped you or hampered you in life?
  • Do you need to take any action about them?

Now break into pairs and share what you feel you are able about these contemplations.

  1. Read Genesis 45 about Joseph’s reconciliation with his brothers (if you have time, read the whole back story beginning in Genesis 37)
  2. What do you notice about the emotional posture of Joseph towards himself, towards God and towards others?
  3. How might this empower us in dealing with some of the issues that surfaced in the above contemplations?
  1. Read the following scriptures and discuss what they mean and why. Then discuss how each applies to our own lives with respect to giving and receiving forgiveness:
  2. Matthew 18: 21-22
  3. Matthew 6:9-15
  4. Luke 23:33-34
  1. Close by practicing the welcoming prayer (overleaf) together with a particular focus on the issues that surfaced in the contemplations in question 3.

Welcoming Prayer

Start by breathing deeply. Then focus, feel and sink into whatever negative feeling you are experiencing, be it anger, anxiety or fear. Welcome the feeling into your body as an opportunity to learn and heal. Try to sense where you are experiencing the emotion in your body and place your hands on that area. Let go of your emotionally needy programming by repeating this:

I let go of my desire for safety and security, power and control, and esteem and affection. I let go of the desire to change what I am experiencing, and I turn these feelings over to Jesus. Amen.