Car Talk's Recently Hired Staff
Alignment Inspector / Lou SegusiAnger Management Coach / Kirsten Hollered
Collections Specialist / Colin Duboise
Conflict Resolution Specialist / Hugo Origo
Disciplinarian / Don Fuller Round
Exhaust Manifold Specialist / Manny Burns
Head of Front Desk Security / Constance Noring
Nomadic Studies / Roman Hunt
Second Shift Meteorologist / Claudio Vernight
Sexual Harassment Trainer, Frankfurt Office / Hans T. Josef
Termite Inspector / Luke Underwood
Undergarment Inspector / I.C. London
Car Talk's Official Staff Credits
Accounts Payable Administrator / Imelda CzechsAegean Caterer / Sue Flockey
Accounts Payable Clerk, Moscow Office / Dasha Chekhov
Accounts Receivable Supervisor from the Mumbai Office / Vishnu Payup
Adopted Son from Sweden / Bjorn A. Payne Diaz
Airline Seat Tester / Wilma Butfit
Air-Quality Monitor / Carmine Dioxide
Air Traffic Controller / Ulanda U. Lucky
Airline Reservation Manager / Will Price Randomly
Alaskan Prenuptial Advisor / Rush Inuit
Alternative Fuel Consultant / Amanda Livering Cole
Anger Management Consultant / Joanne Slowburner
Appeals Specialist / Bud Uronner
Appointment Secretary / Stu Earley
Appointment Secretary II / Amadeus O. Early
Arbitration Expert / Viola Fuss
Art Critic / Phyllis Steen
Art Critic (2) / Dot Snice
Asphalt Contractor / Luciano Pavearoadi
Assertiveness Training Coach / Lois Steem
Assistant Customer Care Representive / Kurt Reply
Asst. Directors of Computer Services / Sy Burnett and Sy Quest
Assistant Director of Moral Support / Hugo Gurll
Assistant Director of Strategic Planning / Kent C. Detrees
Assistant Disciplinarian / Joaquin D'Planque
Asst. Fleet Manager / Lisa Carr
Asst. Transportation Coordinator / Orson Buggy
Astoturf Installer / Nomar Wheaton
Attorney General / Janet Torino
Attorney General in charge of
Tobacco Settlements / Hubert H. Humvee II
Audience Counter / Hugh Wake
Audience Estimator / Adam Illion
Audience Response Analyst / Luke Warm
Australian Tour Guide / Joaquin Matilda
Auto-Body Expert / James Bondo
Automotive Finishes Consultant / Rusty Steele
Automotive Medical Researcher / Dr. Denton Fender
Automotive Registrar / Megan Model
Auto Seat Tester / Fitz Matush
Back Seat Driver / Veronica Lizzioncourse
Back Seat Driver (2) / Mischa Turnov
Bail Bond Provider / Freida Gogh
Band Leader / Sasha Noyes
Banker, Car Talk Plaza Poker Games / Nikolai Putin
Bathroom Tile Installer / Lotta Bullnose
Bedtime Storyteller / Juan Zapata
Behavior Consultant / Wyatt B. Hoovesia
Biblical Scholar / Vera Lee Isay
Big Band Leader / Juan Anatou
Blues Coordinator / Mahamadan Ptolemy
Bob Dylan Specialist / I. Shelby Released
Bolt Tightener / Tilda Plierslip
Bowling Coach / Menachem Down
Breathalyzer Administrator / Eureka Garlic
British Cutlery Specialist / Sir Irving Spoon
British Doorman / Isaiah Olchap
Boston Funeral Director / Hadley Newham
Brother in the Military / Major Payne-Diaz
Boston Traffic Director / Laura Biden
Budget Director / Sasha Titus
Bunji Jumping Instructor / Hugo First
Butler in Car Talk's Scotland Division / Angus MacCoatup
Broadcast Philosopher / Phillip Airtime
Business Forecaster / Luigi Bord
Cabinet Maker / L. Ron Cupboard
Caffeine Addiction Counselor / Bruno Moore
Car Stereo Installer / Carlos Antenna
Car Talk Bouncer / Euripedes Ibreakayourface
Car Talk Ice Rink Manager / Sam Boney
Car Talk Opera Critic / Barbara Seville
Celebrity Consultants / Richard Gere-Oil, Mick Jaguar
Chairman, Federal Lubrication Board / Alan Greasepan
Chairman, Joint Chiefs of Staff / John Shall-I-Pop-a-Wheelie
Chairman, Math Dept. / Horatio Algebra
Chairman of our Southern Literature Department / Amos Reid
Chairman, Oral History Dept. / Ira Caull
Chairman, Staff Physics Dept. / Victor Analysis
Chairman, Underemployment Study Group / Art Majors
Chicken Soup Provisioner / Kent Hoyt
Chief Benefactor / Myra Chunkle
Chief Estimator / Edward James Almost
Chief Information Officer / Otto Delupe
Chief Justice / Harry Mental, aka Judge Mental
Chief Legal Counsel / Hugh Louis Dewey of Dewey, Cheetham & Howe
Chief Negotiator / Bernadette Bridge
Chief of Stadium Seating for the Olympics / Wayne Back
Chief Procrastinator / Juan Menudo
Chief Procrastinator, Paris Office / Jacques Hughes
Chief Procurement Officer / Emma Chizzit
Chief of Tire Technology / Yessir Itsaflat
Child Care Provider / A. Hugh Nokitov
Child Development Expert / Dr. Benjamin Spark
Child Transportation Specialist / Minnie Van Driver
Children's Menu Adviser / Bea Ferrone
Children's Music Programmer / Al Lowetta
Children's Sleepover Coordinator / Amos Muhmahmi
Class Valedictorian / Sidney Furst Rowe
Cleanliness Inspector / Adolph Deflor
Climate Change Monitor / Jillian Here
Clock Watcher / Colette O'Day
Clothing Designer / Hugh Jass
Co-Chairmen of Apathy Study Group / Ben Thayer, Don Thatt
Collision Repair Specialist / Jesse "The Body Shop" Ventura
Commencement Speaker / Gladys Overwith
Communications Director / George Stayontopothis
Communications Director II / Noam Sayin
Compassion Coordinator / Ophelia Paine
Complaint Line Operator / Xavier Breath
Computer Hardware Specialist / C. Colin Backslash
Conductor Emeritus, Tappet Brothers Symphony Orchestra / Sludgy Ozawa
Conductor, Tappet Brothers Symphony Orchestra / Philip Harmonic
Conflict Resolution Specialist / Yvonne Apeesamey
Congressional Lobbyists / Orrin Hatchback, Dan Rustencarski, Paul Simonize, B. F. Gingrich
Conservative Political Commentator / Eileen Tudor-Wright
Conspiracy Theorist / Nadia Belimi
Construction Manager / Dustin Dubree
Coordinator, 12-Step Recovery Program / Cody Pendant
Coordinator of Summer Visits to the Inlaws / Don Juan-Gogh
Copyright Attorney / Pat Pending
Corporate Spokesperson / Hugh Lyon Sack
Crash Tester / Hope Anna Prayer
Credit Counselor / Max Stout
Criminal Justic Expert / Lauren Order
Cruise Activity Planner / Eton Doolittle
Curator of Dionne Warwick Studies / Isiah Lilprair
Curator of our French Armanents Exhibit / Brittany Spears
Curator of Tom's Car Collection / Rex Galore
Customer Car Care Representative / Haywood Jabuzoff
Customer Credit Officer / Noah Wayne Hellman
Customer Greeter / Mel Pugh
Daylight Savings Time Manager / Konrad Adenauer
Customer Service Representative from London Office / Sir Leo Mann
Defense Attorney / Justin Volk V
Defense Attorney II / Heronimus B. Blind
Defense Attorney III / Donnatella Dicoppas
Defense Attorney IV / Gil T. Azell
Defense Dept. Consultant / Major Error
Dental Hygienist / Ginger Vitis
Dermatologist for Teenagers / Don Pickett
Desi Arnaz Biographer / Ike Arumba
Dessert Chef / Tyra Meesu
Dessert Menu Planner / Eaton Flanagan
Director of Accounts Payable / Bill Shredder
Director of Allergy Research / Theresa Pollinating
Director of Alpine Choir / O. Leo Lahey
Director of Automotive Security / Boris Karlarm
Director, Automotive Recycling Center
(aka Junkyard) / Ricardo Dismantleban
Director of Cadillac Steering / Toulouse Toutrack
Director of The Car Talk Psychic Network / La Toyota Jackson
Designer of Casual Clothing Line / Noh Tie, Woo!
Director of Catering / Russell Upsumgrub
Director of Clandestine Meetings / Ron DesVue
Director of Cold Weather Starting / Martina Neverturnover
Director of Computer Diagnostics / Gus O'Genn
Director of Computer Services / Dot Matrix
Director of Congressional Funding / Fred Knott
Director of Country Music / Stan Beyerman
Director of Deep Sea Research / Marianna Trench
Director of Delicate Electronics Repair / Anita Hammer
Director of Desert Food Supplies / Sandy Berger
Director of Elder Affairs / Al Takaka
Director of E-mail Responses / Peggy Flaming
Director of Employee Loyalty Program / Upton Leftus
Director of Ethics & Honesty / U. Lyon Sack
Director of Firestone Tire Recalls / Ivana Michelin
Director of Gender Studies / Amanda B. Reckondwyth
Director of Global Warming / Nomar Winter
Director of Grad Student Transportation / Iona Heap
Director of Guaranteed Repeat Business / Lucinda Boltz
Director of High-Speed Impact Studies / Ricardo Montana-Bahn
Director of Italian Traffic Enforcement / Noah U. Turna
Director of Intensive Care Unit
(The Picabo ICU) / Picabo Street
Director of Jamaican Baseball Operations / Reggae Jackson
Director of Japanese Cooling Systems / Emperor Overhito
Director of Latin American Shameless Commerce / Chico Maniorda
Director of Listener Support / Noah Fundrive
Director of Lubrication / Olive Presser
Director of Luxury Car Horns / Toney Blare
Director of Long-Range Strategic Planning / Kay Sera
Director of Monopoly Policy / Juan Moorehouse
Director of New Product Repair / Warren T. Mifutt
Director of Nutritional Supplements / Rose Hips
Director of Pavlovian Research / Isabelle Ringing
Director of Pedestrian Operations / Carless Castenada
Director of Photography / Len Scapon
Director of Positive Reinforcement / A. Kurt Nod
Director of Pollution Control / Maury Missions
Director of Purchasing / Lois Bidder
Director of Puzzler Answer Luxury Gift Reception / Donatella Debois
Directors of Quality Control / Les Thomas and Nomar Raymond
Director of Red Sox Themed Upholstery / Nomar Car-seat-repairer
Director of Roadway Resurfacing / Sylvia Pottholi
Director of Russian Rust Protection / Yevgeny Primercoat
Director of Speed Bumps / Slow-Me-Down Milosevic
Director of Sports Information / Linus Scrimmage
Director of Staff Pay Increases / Xavier Breath (assisted by Tony Von Thinkett!)
Director of Standard Time / Red Auerbach
Director of Sycophantic Activities / Eileen Yorway
Director of Three Stooges Studies / Lee Eyeapoka
Director of Top Secret Strategy / Donatello Nobatti
Director of Unsolicited Advice / H. Ross Peugeot
Director of Upward Mobility
in Eastern Europe / Zbigniew Chrysler
Director of Warm-Weather Programming / Sumner Reruns
Disgruntled Massage Therapist / Ophelia Self
Distant Cousin in Mexico City / Jaime Royal Payne Diaz
Divorce Attorney / Carmine Nottyors
Document Security Expert from Jamaica / Euripedes Upmann
Dog Trainer / Don Chase Katz
Dope Slap Administrator / Thad Hertz
Dougie's Live-in Fashion Improvement Coach / Noah Vale
Downsizing Consultant / Candace Guy
Drug Trials Specialist / Placebo Domingo
Drycleaner / Preston Creases
East Asian Used Car Expert / Alexander Soldyernissan
Ebay Specialist / Selma Junkoff
Electronics Technician / Sammy Conductor
Elocution Coach / Richard Shun (aka Dick)
Elvis Impersonator / Amal Shookup
Emergency Preparedness Director / Ron Lykell
Emergency Room Physician / Henrietta Badclam
Emissions Tester / Justin Hale VII (I, II,III, IV, V, VI may they RIP)
Empathy Coach / Enzo Watt
Employee Morale Boosters / Phil Lacrap and his brother Luke Lacrap
Employee Orientation Specialist / Trudy Gauntlet
Employee Refrigerator Monitor / Carmen Dating
Employee Terminator / Laura Deboom
Engine Cooling Systems Manager / Jean Claude Air Damme
Evasive Driving Instructor / Vera Bruptly
Executive Coach / Russell Papus
Executive Washroom Attendant / Eustace Stahl
Exercise Guru / Liza Round
Express Oil Change Provider / Joaquin Joaquout
Fact Checker / Ella Fynoe
Fact Checker, Mexico City Office / C.S. Verdad
Fashion Consultant / Natalie Attired
Fashion Improvement Coach / Noah Vale
Father-in-Law Liason / Royal Payne Diaz
Feng Shui Consultant in Mumbai / Rhea Rangit
Financial Forecaster / Lou Gubrious
Fleet Maintenance Manager / Renata Oil
Fleet Manager / Oscar de la Rental
Footwear Consultant / Susan Shocks
401 K Advisor / Hugh Don Wannano
French Automotive Liaison / Maurice Chevrolet
French Child Care Coordinator / Gerard Diaperdoo
French Dogwalker / Poupon Degrasse
French Ford Expedition Driver / Henri Rependent
French Vacation Specialist / April Lynn Parris
Gambling Addiction Counselor / Althea Andrasia
Gastroenterologist / Cameron Diaz
Genetic Counselor in Rome / Donna Maria Eucuzzin
German Interpreter / Axel Hausen
Golf and Wine Correspondent / Litre Vino
Golf Pro / Putnam Daily
Gospel Choir Director / Colin Response
Graduation Coordinators / Val and Dick Torian
Grammar Consultant / I.M. Shirley Wright
Greek Driving Instructor / Adjustes Miros
Greek Insurance Estimator / Costa Grand
Guest Accommodations / The Horseshoe Road Inn
Guide to Rapid Sun Tanning / Les Block
Gum Surgeon / Perry O'Dontal
Hair / I.M. Mr. Gigi
Hair Color Consultant / Dewey R. Donti
Head of Alterations / Toulouse Toulong
Head of Covert Operations / Dinah Tell
Head of Division of Threat Assessment / Ewen Whadarmy
Head of Bldgs. & Grounds / Moe D'Lawn
Head of Personal Security / C. Howie Run
Head of Security / Barb Dwyer
Head of our Organ Donation Program / Olivia McColon
Heads of Parts Dept. / Al Lloyd Wheel, Constance Velocity
Head of Used Car Purchasing / Ewell B. Hoffinett
Head of Working Mother Support Group / Erasmus B. Dragon
Help Desk Coordinator / Dan Difino
Help Line Coordinators / Kara Lott-Knott, Don Bothermy
Holiday Decoration Specialist / Aretha Holley
Holiday Wardrobe Consultant / Don Weenau
Horsepower Consultant / Mr. Ed
Hospitality Director / Doris Shutt
In-house Literary Critic / Al Ligori
In-law Hospitality Provideræ / Emile Endicott
Insurance Agent / Heidi Ductible
Interior Decorator / Perry Winkle
Interpretive Dance Instructor / Tristan Schaut
Inventory Manager / Mandalit Del Bar-Code
Iraqi Sales Director / Aziz Nowarranty
Italian Conflict Resolution Specialists / Hugh and Mia Donnagria
Italian Governess / Donna Day Evvalurn
International Lubrication Experts / C.V. Boutros Boutros Gali and Fidel Castrol
Japanese Chef / Benny Honda
Jazz Music Coordinator / Bertha Deblues
Jeep Driver / Jocelyn De Contents
Jump Starting Expert / Stan Wellback
Keeper of Bell Tower / (Hatchback of Notre Dame) Quasi Automotive
Latin American Bullfighting Specialist / Gordon Diaz
Latin American Trade Representative / Noah Comprenday
Layoff Counselor / Harry Verderchi
Lay Off Counselor II / Oscar Lavista
Leader of The Former Peugeot Dealers of America Support Group / Eustace L. Emmons
Leo Tolstoy biographer: Warren Peace / Author of Leo Tolstoy by Warren Peace
Liaison to the British Isles / Isaiah Oldchap
Liaison to the Space Program / Roger Houston
Liaison Officer to Volvo & Renault / Bjorne Toulouse
Libel Defense Director in Tokyo / Sosumi Areti
Lighting Expert / Shanda Lear
Literary Critics / Ernest & Julio Hemingway
Loan Officer / I.O. Silver
Local News Reporter / Phil Mataleven
Locksmith / Ernest & Eustace Nailfile
Long-Distance Truck Driver / Etienne Wheeler
Loss Prevention Associate / Natasha D'Merchandise
Lost Luggage Tracker / Lester Carey
Lottery Ticket Coordinator / Jason Rainbows
Lug Nut Specialist / Tad Tolouse
Luxury Accomodations Provider / Tony Diggs
Manager of Automotive Accessories / Francis Ford Cupholda
Manager of Car Talk
Capital Depreciation Fund / Les Ismore
Manager of Cartalk.Com / Cy Burnett
Manager, Car Talk Listeners Rebate Program / Wendy Pigsfly
Manager, Donkey Based Video Equipment / Cameron Diaz
Manager of Employee Refrigerator / Carmen Dating
Manager of the Weekly Shrimp Buffet / Sheldon Deveigned
Marine Biologist / Frieda Wales
Marriage Counselor / Marion Haste
Mechanic's Assistant / Hannah Twomey
Mohammed Ahamana Hamana / Ralph Kramden Impersonator
Montana Traffic Law Director / Hugh Jim Bissell
Mortgage Loan Consultant / Nora Lenderbee
Mother-in-Law Liason / Stella Payne Diaz
Moving Van Driver / Carrie Desofa
Museum Guide / Desdamona Lisa
Music Director / Mel F. Lewis
Musical Director / Donna E. Mobile
Musical Theater Critic from the Bombay Office / Jaswant Singh
Natural History Curator / Willie Mammoth
New-Employee Training Program / Ewell Flounder
New York-based Dispute Settlement Coordinator / Hugh Talkinamee
Nutrition Consultants / Eaton Wright and Liven Good
New Truck Reviewer / Zbigniew Rigg
Night Club Manager / Don Kashane
Official Football Widow / Eliza Decouch
Office Ice Cream Taster / Nora Morse
Official Spokesperson / Howie Vasive
Official Spokesperson / Lou Scannon
Ornithologist in Training / Luke A. Boyd
Our Chief Negotiator / Nicole Anne Dime
Our DNA Researcher / Gene Hackman
Overnight Bus Driver / Borden Drousy
Overseer of Florida Voting Practices / Emmanuel Recount
Parking Attendant / Rick O'Shea
Parking Garage Attendant / Ray Zador
Parole Officer / Willy Bolt
Parts Inventory Manager / Wayne Debach
Pastry Chef / Edith Tu
Paternity Suit Researcher / Oren Jewison
Pedestrian Advocate / Jay Walker
Pension Fund Manager / Dot Comstock
Periodontist / Winston Paine
Personal Hygiene Advisor from the Tokyo Office / Oh Takashawa
Personal Makeup Artist / Bud Tuggli
Personal Trainer / Jim Shortz
Philosopher / Wanda Y. Datso
Photographer / F. Stop Fitzgerald
Physical Therapist / Eustace Kane
Physics Graduate Student / Laura Vernersha
Plastic Surgeon / Fay Swift
Poet Laureate / Robert Defrost
Political Consultant / Mark Iavelli
PowerPoint Producer / Boris Tadeff
PR Director / Bea Esser
Practical Joke Evaluator / Odessa Goodwyn
Practical Joke Specialist / Dietrich Iznotulaff
Prayer Coach / Denise Hurt
Pre-show Caterers / Giardia Brothers
President, Car Talk Hair Club for Men / Emerson Fittibaldie (he's also a client)
President, Disgruntled Hatchback Owners Club / Ivana Trunk
Press Secretary / Don B. Zonozi
Producer's Office, Furnished by / Rick Kleiner
Proof Reader / Erin Spelling
Proprietor of Car Talk's men clothing store / Euripedes Eumenedes
Pseudonym Consultant / Norm De Plume
Public Opinion Pollster / Paul Murky of Murky Research
Puerto Vallarta Transmission Specialist / Synchro de Mayo
Public Appearances Coordinator / Ida Klein
Puzzler Tester / Otis S. Hard
Race Team Driver / Andy Zoff
Rafting Guide / Euphrates Rapids
Ranch Foreman / Hyman Oldcowhand
Ratings Analysis Specialist / Rita Menweip
Recently Discovered Uncle from Warsaw / Zbigniew Payne Diaz
Receptionist / Sedona Tush
Regional Director, Atlanta / Frank Lee Scarlett
Reincarnation Expert / Diana Comeback
Reluctant Film Editor / Francis Ford Cupholda
Rental Property Manager / Ulysses Up
Rental Property Manager / Condoleeza B. Broken
Repair Cost Consultant / Bill M. Moore
Repo Agent / Carmine Now
Retractable Antenna Tester / Benton Broke
Rock and Roll Historian / Bruce Wade Hughes
Rocket Scientist / Chet Propeld
Rumanian Emissions Tester / Vlad the Inhaler
Russian Chauffeur / Picov Andropov
Russian Gas Station Attendant / Phillip Antopitov
Russian Intern / Igor Beaver
Russian Vacation Specialist / Ivana Veekoff
Safari Planner / Sarah Anne Getty
Safety Officers / Mort & Fay Tality
Sales Director / Aziz Nowarranty
Sales Motivation Coach / Norman Vincent Pealeout
Satellite Radio Critic / Candace B. Sirius
Scout Leader / Lawson D. Woods
Seafood Provisioner / Howard E. Oysters
Seat Cushion Tester / Mike Easter
Seating Consultant / Rush Lumbar
Secretary of Pain Relief / Les Aspirin
Secretary of Halogen Headlamps / Made-A-Lane Allbright
Secretary of Photographic Reproduction / Fresh Prince