Formal Writing Assignment 3 (WA3)
based on the excerpt fromAlways Running by Luis Rodriguez
In the short excerpt from Always Running, Luis Rodriguez shares his introduction to the public education system. Because he did not speak English, his teachers “didn’t know what to do with him” (para. 4). As a result, he was left to fend for himself, so he hid in the back of the classroom, trying to go unnoticed.
For this assignment, think of a specific time or times when, like Rodriguez, you were faced with a challenge, and youwere notgiven assistance to help you through the situation. This may have been a failing of your parents or other caregivers, the educational system, your friends, or even yourself. In your thesis, state the challenge(s)with which you were faced and who could have helped you but did not. In the body paragraphs, go into more detail about the situation, what you needed from those around you (support, resources, etc.), and the reasons you were not given what you needed. In the conclusion, discuss what you learned from this situation and how this situation has (or has not) had a lasting impact on you.
Your essay should contain multiple parts: an introduction with a thesis statement, multiple body paragraphs (at least three) with topic sentences and supporting evidence, and a conclusion. You will need to include at least properly introduced, integrated, cited, and explained quote from Always Running.
Criteria for Evaluation
Successful Essays will:
1.be in MLA format
2.begin with an introduction that introduces the topic/focus of the essay and provides any background information necessary for the reader to understand the essay.
3.include a thesis statement which is arguable and directly addresses the prompt
4.include at multiple body paragraphs which are controlled by topic sentences and use transitions effectively
5.include specific evidence (examples, quotes, facts, details, etc.) to support your assertions
6.include at least one properly introduced, integrated and cited quote from the excerpt from Always Running
7.explain the evidence included
8.include a conclusion that gives the reader some “closure”, answers the question “so what?”, or discusses the significance of this topic.
- be free of fragments, run-on sentences, comma splices, subject-verb agreement and verb tense errors
- be free of spelling and grammar errors
- correctly use and identify different sentence patterns and connectors: simple, compound (3 different), complex
- correctly use (and highlight) any five vocabulary words from 98R (chapters 8,9,10, 11, 13, 14)
- be based on a rough draft that is turned in on time and evaluated by three different classmates during the designated peer review
In addition, your essay should include and identify five different sentence types: 1) one simple sentence, 2) one compound sentence with a coordinating conjunction, 3) one compound sentence using a semi-colon, 4) one complex sentence with a subordinating conjunction, and 5) one compound sentence with a semi-colon and a conjunctive adverb. These should be underlined in the essay. Then, on a separate sheet, you need to write out those specific sentences, and identify the subjects, the verbs, and the conjunctions in each. Please see the included worksheet.
Identifying Sentences
Instructions:
- Please write the complete sentence in the appropriate space provided below.
- Then, identify EACH subject by writing an “S” above it.
- Identify each entire verb by writing a “V” above it. (Remember the entire verb may be more than one word, so check carefully. If you need help, please ask.).
- Lastly, circle the connector you use in each sentence.
Simple Sentence:
______
Compound Sentence with Coordinating Conjunction: ______
Compound Sentence with a Semi-Colon: ______
Complex Sentence with Subordinating Conjunction: ______
______
Compound Sentence with Semi-Colon and Conjunctive Adverb:
______
NP
/C
/B
/A
MLA format / The paragraph is not presented in MLA format or is not readable. / The paragraph is presented in MLA format but with significant errors in spacing, font, or layout; or it is handwritten but may be hard to read, not written in black ink. It may be lacking a title. / The paragraph is presented in MLA format with a correct header, name block, and title. It is double-spaced, has 1-inch margins, and is presented in a plain, 12-pt. non-decorative font. / The paragraph is presented in MLA format with virtually no errors. The title is appropriate to the essay and interesting.Introduction / The intro attempts may not introduce the topic and/or may not provide sufficient background information on the issue/situation. / The intro attempts to introduce the topic of the essay and the gives a bit of background information on the issue/situation, but one or more of these may be presented incorrectly or unclearly. / The intro introduces the topic gives a bit of background information on the issue/situation. / The intro clearly and thoroughly introducesthe topic of the essay and provides necessary background information on the issue/situation..
Thesis / The thesis does not seem to address the prompt, is not a complete sentence, or does not clearly state the author’s opinion. / The thesis addresses the prompt, but it may be awkwardly worded or the author’s opinion is unclear. / The thesis is arguable and responds to the prompt. The focus of the essay is clear from reading the thesis. / The thesis is specific, arguable, and clearly responds to the prompt. The direction the discussion will take is clear.
Topic Sentences / There is an attempt to include topic sentences in some (but not all) of the body paragraphs and/or they may be unclear. Transitions are not included or are ineffective. / The body paragraphs contain topic sentences but they may not accurately or clearly state the focus of that paragraph. Transitions are included. / The body paragraphs contain guiding topic sentences and include transitions to link paragraphs and ideas. / The body paragraphs contain topic sentences which clearly and accurately state the focus of that paragraph and support the thesis statement. Transitions are used effectively.
Evidence / The included quote(s) is/are problematic and distracting. It does not advance the argument made in the essay. / An attempt was made include a quote from the text, and other evidence/examples are also included. / The essay includes at least one quote from the text and it is correctly cited. Other examples from the text are also included. / The essay includes at least one quote from the text which is properly introduced, integrated, and cited.
Explanation / The author does not explain the evidence/examples used in this essay and/or the explanations are unclear or ineffective. / Some effort is made to explain how the evidence used supports the topic sentence. / The author explains how the evidence used supports the topic sentence. / The author clearly and effectively explains how the evidence used supports the topic sentence and, thus, the thesis statement.
Conclusion / The conclusion is very weak. / The essay closes with a conclusion, but it is mechanical or repetitive and lacks significance. / The essay closes with a concluding sentence that restates the main idea in other words, or discusses the importance of this topic. / The essay closes with a conclusion that gives closure to the essay and makes it seem complete.
Errors / The essay contains three: of the following: fragments, run-ons, comma splices, subject-verb agreement or verb tense errors. / The essay contains two of the following: fragments, run-ons, comma splices, subject-verb agreement or verb tense errors. / The essay contains only one of the following: fragments, run-ons, comma splices, subject-verb agreement or verb tense errors. / The essay contains no fragments, run-ons, comma splices, subject-verb agreement or verb tense errors.
Sentences / The essay uses a variety of sentence forms connectors, but does not include them all and has more than two usage or punctuation errors. / The essay uses a variety of sentence forms connectors, but does not include them all and has more than one usage or punctuation error. / The essay uses a variety of sentence forms connectors, but may not include them all or may have one usage or punctuation error. / The essay uses a variety of sentence forms (simple, compound, complex) and uses a variety of connectors (coordinating conjunctions, semi-colons, subordinate connectors, and conjunctive adverbs).
Vocab / Fewer than three vocabulary words are correctly used and highlighted. / Three vocabulary words are correctly used and highlighted. / Four vocabulary words are correctly used and highlighted. / At least five vocabulary words (from the specified chapters) are correctly used and highlighted.
Spelling & Grammar / Frequent errors in grammar or spelling that significantly interfere with meaning. / Occasional errors in grammar and spelling, but only a few of which interfere with meaning. / A few errors in grammar or spelling, but none that significantly interfere with meaning. / No errors in spelling or grammar.
Draft & PR / Draft was reviewed by only one classmate. / Draft was partially complete and was reviewed by three different classmates OR a draft was written but read by two or fewer classmates. / Rough draft was mostly complete and was reviewed by three different classmates. / Rough draft was completed on time and reviewed by three different classmates.
Name:______WA3: excerpt from Always Running
Grade: /100%
Essay Review: What is expected in the basic essay
Introductory Paragraph
IntroductionPlan of development: points 1.2.3
Thesis Statement
The introduction must attract the reader.
The plan of development is a list of points that support the thesis. The points are offered in the order they are given. This is optional, and should not be included if it makes the essay redundant.
Thesis: the main idea in two parts: topic and your opinion.
If you are analyzing one specific challenge, it should be stated in the thesis. If you are analyzing multiple challenges, your thesis may be a more general argument, i.e. “In my life, I have faced many challenges, and during those challenges, my support system failed me.” or “The most difficult challenge of my adolescent life was being forced to deal with and understand my brother’s HIV status on my own.”
First Supporting Paragraph
Assertion/Topic sentence (point 1)Specific evidence
Explanation of Evidence
Significance
The topic sentence is the first supporting point for your thesis, and the specific evidence delves into you topic sentence.
Each body paragraph should focus on one point that supports your thesis.
*** Depending on what your argument is, each body paragraph might focus on a different challenge. Alternatively, if your thesis focuses on ONE challenge and your body paragraphs would then analyze the different people (or groups of people) that should have helped you through this situation but did not.
Second Supporting Paragraph
Topic sentence (point 2)Specific evidence
Explanation of Evidence
Significance
The topic sentence advances the second supporting point for your thesis, and the specific evidence develops that point.
Third Supporting Paragraph
Topic sentence (point 3)Specific evidence
Explanation of Evidence
Significance
The topic sentence advances the third supporting point for your thesis, and the specific evidence develops that point.
Concluding Paragraph
Summary, conclusion or bothA summary is a broad restatement of the thesis and its main points. A Conclusion is a final thought or tow stemming from the subject of the paper.
***For this paper, your conclusion should discuss what you learned from this situation and how this situation has (or has not) had a lasting impact on you.
Common Methods of Introduction
1. Broad Statement: Using factory work as an example, you might start out by saying the following: Working in a factory might be one of the worst jobs. And then you go into the specific factory that you’re writing about, for example, an egg factory.
2. Contrast: Start with an idea that is the opposite of the one you will develop: working in an office is a nice, clean job. You have comfortable chairs, a desk, a computer, a cup of coffee nearby, but working in a factory does not have the niceties found in an office.
3. Relevance: What makes your topic special? Convince the reader that the topic applies to them or is important. So many of our ancestors, when they first came to this country, found themselves working in factories.
4. Anecdote: An interesting short story that coaxes the reader into the world of your essay. The story should be related to your thesis. I once met a man named Victor who was missing two of his fingers. Victor told me that he lost his fingers because of an accident at work. He caught his hand in the wheels of a conveyor belt at the egg factory where he worked.
5. Quotation: Quote something from your research, or find a dictionary quote that relates to your topic:
“Perhaps it seemed to me,” Wrote Henry David Thoreau, “that I had several more lives to live, and could not spare any time for that one” (342). This is how I felt after working in an egg factory for two years. I had other lives to live. I had wasted enough of my life here.
Concluding Paragraph
The concluding paragraph should summarize the essay by restating the thesis and even restating the main supporting points. Also, the conclusion brings your paper to a graceful end, leaving the reader with a final thought on the subject. Here is where you get to offer your opinion on the subject.
Three Ways to Conclude You Paper using La Jolla Shores (a local beach) as an example.
1. End with a summary or final thought:
La Jolla Shores, then, is one of the most inviting beaches in San Diego. The beaches there are wider, cleaner, and safer. It is not surprising that a growing number of San Diegans are traveling to La Jolla Shores to experience this great beach.
2. A thought-provoking question:
Appeal to the reader that your subject is bigger than your essay.
Comment on any one of these: 1) The future2) Which choice should be made 3) Why is your subject important
E.g. Wouldn’t La Jolla Shores be the beach of choice for anyone who wants to experience an enjoyable day by the ocean?
3. A prediction or recommendation
Even with its growing popularity, La Jolla Shores will always be the most pleasant beach experiences San Diego has to offer.