THE BITS…
President Obama welcomed the 1972 Super Bowl champion Miami Dolphins to the White House yesterday. Not only that, today, Obama welcomes the 1927 World Series champion New York Yankees.
A push is underway to pay White House interns. As it stands now, White House interns are unpaid, housing isn't provided, and they have to work at least Monday-Friday, 9 am-6 pm. Those White House intern jobs really blow.
A push is underway to pay White House interns. The White House interns deserve to be paid considering the services they’ve been known to provide for presidents.
Kanye West will reveal a photo of his and Kim Kardashian’s baby daughter North this Friday. Kanye is a pretty strict father. He’s already ordered the baby not to talk to him.
Kanye West will reveal a photo of his and Kim Kardashian’s baby daughter North this Friday. They say the baby appears to have Kanye’s cheeks, Kanye’s nose and Kanye’s smile. At least they think so. No one has ever actually seen Kanye smile.
Kanye West will reveal a photo of his and Kim Kardashian’s baby daughter North this Friday. The big question is, how did they ever get a Kardashian to pose for a photo?
Dr. Phil sent out a tweet yesterday asking, "If a girl is drunk, is it OK to have sex with her?" Apparently Dr. Phil is dating again.
Dr. Phil sent out a tweet yesterday asking, "If a girl is drunk, is it okay to have sex with her?" I think the more important question is, “If Dr. Phil is drunk, is it okay for him to be tweeting?”
SON OF THE BITS…
Dr. Oz came to the aid of a woman that was hit by a taxi in New York City this week. Dr. Oz didn’t treat her injuries, but he did recommend a sensible diet that would enable her to move faster the next time a taxi careened towards her.
Oprah Winfrey’s big interview withLindsay Lohan only drew 892,000 viewers. Lindsay had more witnesses to her necklace theft.
Boston Red Sox pitcher Ryan Dempster is suspended five games for intentionally hitting Alex Rodriguez. Let this be a lesson: use performance enhancing drugs and you can play; hit a guy using performance enhancing drugs and you’re suspended.
Boston Red Sox pitcher Ryan Dempster is suspended five games for intentionally hitting Alex Rodriguez. They say it was dangerous because a baseball hitting A-Rod at that velocity could’ve caused serious damage to the baseball.
The Triple-A says 34.1 million Americans will travel over this Labor Day weekend. Not only that, they say the NSA already knows where you’re going.
Triple-A says 34 million Americans will travel this Labor Day weekend. They say 25 percent are looking forward to seeing family, 30 percent are looking forward to getting away and 45 percent are looking forward to being frisked at the airport.
New York has been named the rudest, most arrogant state in the country.In fact, New York is now considered the Kanye West of states.
New York has been named the rudest, most arrogant state in the country. They blame it on Donald Trump.
TODAY’S BITMAN AUDIO…
Today on the Bitman audio feed we have reality funwithSo You Think You Can Dance and America's Got Talent, pluslate night fun with Chelsea.
Plus more from Ron Jordan and the Bitman audio archive! It’s all at BitmanComedy.com in the Subscribers area
Not hearing anything? TV Sound bites are available at BitmanComedy.com! If you need access to the site, contact Adrienne Munos at United Stations Radio Network at 561-381-7598 or
TINSELTOWN TATTLER…
The world will get its first look at KIM KARDASHIAN and KANYE WEST’S baby North this Friday on KRIS JENNER’S talk show. Kanye has already taped the interview in which he showed a picture of his daughter. A clearly star-struck audience member named Janiela, tweeted: "Just left the Kris Jenner Show and Kanye West was there today! He was so open and blessed us with baby North's photo!" She also revealed: "She looks like Kanye. She has his cheeks and she is almost as dark as him and she has big eyes like Kim…too cute." No doubt the visit was engineered by the family as Friday is the last day of the trial run for Kris’ talk show and if the ratings are good, Fox will likely pick the show up on a permanent basis, which is something Jenner desperately wants.
There are more details coming out on the suicide of "Bachelor" contestant GIA ALLEMAND. It’s now revealed that shehad a fight with her NBA player boyfriend Ryan Anderson during lunch the day she died and accusedhim of being unfaithful.During the ride back to her house Gia told Ryan she still loved him, but he told her that he didn’t love her anymore. Gia was on the phone with her mom when she hanged herself using a vacuum cleaner cord tied to a spiral staircase. Gia’s mother later told policethat the call went silent and she tried talking to herdaughter for 10 minutes. When Ryan got to Gia’s house he found her on the stairs with the cord wrapped around her neck many times and investigators say she’d been without oxygen for 30-40 minutes. (Hear 911 call here)
It turns out DICK VAN DYKE had a much closer call during his car fire than was previously believed. One caller to 911 saw him sitting in the car that was already engulfed in flames and said they didn’t think he's aware it was on fire. Luckily, that Good Samaritan stopped and pulled Van Dyke out just in time. His sense of humor intact, Van Dyke tweeted a photo of what’s left of his car with the caption: Used Jag for sale real cheap! (See here) (Hear 911 call here)
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 2…
It was DR. OZ to the rescue this week when a taxi driver lost control of his cab and drove onto the sidewalk and into a group of pedestrians. Dr. Oz rushed to the scene where he and a plumber acted quickly by using a belt as a tourniquet to stanch the bleeding from the woman's leg. Unfortunately, the woman, who’s said to be a British tourist, reportedly lost her left foot.
DR. PHIL posted a bizarre and controversial tweet yesterday that went: "If a girl is drunk, is it OK to have sex with her?" and asked followers to reply yes or no. Dr. Phil quickly took the post down after getting responses such as whether he was asking for himself or for a friend.
SIMON COWELL has made his first official comments on his pending fatherhood. Cowell told the BBC that "things are changing in my life right now, for the better," adding: "I'm proud to be a dad." He also referred to baby mama Lauren Silverman as "a very special girl."
Criminal Minds star THOMAS GIBSON may have fallen for a catfish scam, but he wasn’t cheating. Gibson is still technically married, but he and his wife have been legally separated for years and just live together for the sake of their children.
Daily Show host JON STEWART is the new king of late night, at least when it comes to paychecks. According to TV Guide Magazine's annual survey of star salaries, Stewart earns between $25-30 million a year, topping Jay Leno and David Letterman, who each pull down about $20 million. The top earning sitcom star is Ashton Kutcher with $750,000 an episode for Two and a Half Men, while NCIS star Mark Harmon is the top drama money maker at $525,000 an episode. However, Judge Judy Sheindlin tops them all at $47 million a year.
DATELINE HOLLYWOOD…
WILL.I.AM has reportedly signed on to serve as coach on the British version of THE VOICE. That would officially take him out of the running for the AMERICAN IDOL gig and it’s now reported that KANYE WEST also turned down A.I. because he worried it would make him seem too mainstream.
MARG HELGENBERGER will return to CSI for its 300th episode to help the team solve a cold case that has evaded them for more than a decade.The 300th episode will air Wednesday, October 23rd.
MELANIE GRIFFITH will guest star as Danny Williams’ mother on HAWAII FIVE-0. It was previously announced that CAROL BURNETT would appear as Steve McGarrett's aunt, who comes to Oahu with a secret plan to reunite the entire clan for Thanksgiving.
OPRAH WINFREY’S big interview withLINDSAY LOHAN apparently wasn’t so big after all. Only 892,000 people tuned in to see the chat. In comparison, Oprah’s interview with Lance Armstrong had 3.2 million viewers back in January. Still, the 892,000 was up a tick over Oprah’s average viewership.
Could ‘SQUIRRELS’ be the next Sharknado? The movie is about an army of killer squirrels destroying everyone and everything in their path due to an erosion of their food chain as a result of environmental destruction by a gas company. While the movie hasn’t been made yet, a trailer has, along with the tagline: 'Hold Onto Your Nuts.' (See trailer here)
Legendary Hollywood writer ELMORE LEONARD has died at the age of 87, three weeks after suffering a stroke. Dozens of his novels and short stories have been made into movies or TV shows, such as "Out of Sight," "Be Cool," "Mr. Majestyk" and "3:10 to Yuma."
MUSIC NOTES…
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN has finally joined Twitter. His first tweet was: "Bruce here...looking forward to seeing friends in Chile, Argentina & Brazil on tour next month. Any requests?"
There’s no rest for GROUPLOVE. After a New Year’s Dayperformance in Washington, D.C., they took a whole week off before hitting the studio on January 7th to begin work on their new album, "Spreading Rumours," which is due September 17th. They won’t be slowing down anytime soon as they’ll kick off a tour starting September 9th.
Former SIMPLY RED frontman MICK HUCKNALL will release his debut solo album,called "American Soul," on October 29th. The album will feature covers of classic soul songs by the likes of Otis Redding and Ray Charles, among others.
An Alberta dentist named Michael Zuk purchased a tooth of JOHN LENNON for more than $30,000 at an auction and he now hopes to use DNA from the tooth to clone the former Beatle. Zuk says, “To potentially say I had a small part in bringing back one of rock’s greatest stars would be mind-blowing. I am nervous and excited at the possibility that we will be able to fully sequence John Lennon’s DNA.” The tooth even has its own website at JohnLennonTooth.com.
ARETHA FRANKLIN says she's had a "miraculous" recovery from her latest health issues, although she won’t disclose the exact nature of her illness. Aretha says she’ll return to the stage when she’s 100 percent and she also has a new album in the works.
BRITNEY SPEARS has posted a countdown timer on her official website counting down to September 17th at 9:30 a.m. Eastern. Along with the timer is the text, "All Eyes on Me." It’s speculated that Britney will be releasing new music next month or announcing her Las Vegas residency…or both.
MUSIC NOTES 2…
Rumor has it that JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE will reunite with NSYNC for a one-off performance at the MTV Video Music Awards this Sunday. Timberlake’s NSYNC band mates were reportedly spotted in the VIP section at his concert with Jay Z in Miami on Friday. However, it’s not a done deal yet and they may just appear onstage together when Justin accepts his Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award.
The ONE DIRECTION 3-D documentary "One Direction: This Is Us" had its London premiere last night. Director Morgan Spurlock said, "These boys are so charming and so fantastic. I challenge you to go to the movie and not like them after the film is done." The movie hits theaters on August 30th.
If you’re hoping to get a bottle of ONE DIRECTION'S first perfume, Our Moment, you may have to wait awhile. The scent is a mix of grapefruit, berries and red currants, not to mention money, and sold out before it even hit stores and a waiting list has formed!
BEYONCE apparently works up an appetite on stage. After performing at the V Festival in England over the weekend, she ordered $2,264 worth of chicken from Nando's. Actually, she shared the 58 wing platters, 48 whole chickens, 12 veggie burgers and 24 coleslaw orders with her entourage.
M.I.A. has leaked a new track called "Unbreak My Mixtape" on Sound Cloud. This comes just days after she beefed about her label delaying the release of her upcoming album Matangi. (Hear here)
You can be in the Gangster’s Kitchen…COOLIO is auctioning off the royalty rights to his entire back catalog to fund his cooking career. Bidding for the 123 songs is expected to begin at $140,000.
MUSIC NOTES 3…
Tour mates TAYLOR SWIFT and ED SHEERAN are both nominated for MTV Video Music Awards and she borrowed a famous quote from Kanye West to congratulate him. Swift presented Ed with some homemade jam and a handwritten label reading: "Yo Ed—I'm really happy 4 you and I'm gonna let u finish but this is the best JAM OF ALL TIME. —T"
JAKE OWEN performed a free show in Nashville the other night, just hours after doctors amputated part of his finger! Jake injured the finger in a go-kart accident about a month ago and it seemed to be healing. However, the finger started bleeding on Sunday and doctors had to amputate the last half of it. Jake’s next album, Days of Gold, is due out December 3rd.
FLORIDA GEORGIA LINE and SHERYL CROW will announce the nominees for The 47th Annual CMA Awards live on Good Morning America on Tuesday, September 10th.
TUBULAR…
Daytime:
GMA: Talk, News
CBS This Morning: The latest news
Today:The professionals; medical questions; Labor Day deals
Kelly & Michael: Repeat segments: singer Steven Tyler
The View: Guest co-host Robin Thicke performs; actor Ed Helms
The Talk: Actor Joe Manganiello; chef Tim Love
Ellen: Tim Allen; actor Kunal Nayyar; Maroon 5 performs
Primetime:
ABC: The Middle, Last Man Standing, Modern Familyand Neighbors reruns, plus The Lookout
CBS: A newBig Brother and Criminal Minds and CSI reruns
Fox: Repeat and new Master Chefs
NBC: America’s Got Talent(Cassadee Pope performs) and Camp are new
CW: Arrow and Supernatural reruns
ESPN2: Baseball with the Rays at Orioles
Late Night:
Jay Leno: Kristen Bell; actor Jake Johnson; Phillip Phillips performs
David Letterman:Tina Fey; humanitarian Hugh Evans; Valerie June performs
Jimmy Kimmel: Harrison Ford; actress Keri Russell; Joan Jett performs
Conan: Ken Jeong; Mary Lynn Rajskub; The Black Angels
Jimmy Fallon: Bruce Willis; reality-TV personality June Shannon; Mayer Hawthorne performs
Craig Ferguson: Jonah Hill; racecar driver Tony Kanaan
Carson Daly: Musician Michael Fitzpatrick; actress Sarah Polley; A Silent Film
THE WATERCOOLER…
More information is coming out about the surviving Boston Marathon bombing suspect. They now say he suffered multiple gunshot woundsin a shootout with police the day before his capture. The most serious wound came from a bullet that entered through the left inside of his mouth and exited the left side of his face and resulted in a skull-base fracture and injuries to the middle ear, the pharynx, the mouth, and a small vascular injury. He managed to escape duringthat shootout, but was captured the next day.
A20-year-old gunman carrying an assault rifle was arrested after he fired shots into the air outside an Atlanta-area elementary school yesterday. Police say the suspect was dressed in all black and there were no injuries. A school clerk says she convinced the man to put down his weapons and surrender.
A girl has been hospitalized after photos of her giving BJ’s to at least two men at an Eminem concert in Ireland over the weekend went viral. In one photo, she’s on her knees, while the man raises his arms in a sign of victory. In another, she’s kissing the same man while he reaches under her skirt and in yet another she repeats the performance with a second unidentified man. The girl is reported to be 17 and, if that’s true, sending out the photos could be a crime. The girl was so distraught she had to be sedated in the hospital and police say once she’s well enough to make a formal statement, it could turn into a sexual assault investigation.
Some people are more excited about going back to school than others. Georgia Tech sophomore Nicholas Selby gave the freshman welcome speech at the Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta in which he shared his crazy excitement for mechanical engineering. (See here)
THE WATERCOOLER 2…