Problem and Definition
If ever there were a public health issue to be described with the word, 'taboo,' incest must surely be that problem. While the prevalence and severity of child abuse in the United States has been given an increasing amount of attention; the attitudes regarding the abuse, definitions, and statistics continue to vary. Unfortunately, the true statistics regarding this problem are difficult to come by. The examination of incest may incite some of the greatest discrepancies, for it remains one of the most under-reported and least discussed crimes in our nation. An almost international taboo, incest often remains concealed by the victim because of guilt, shame, fear, social, and familial pressure, as well as coercion by the abuser (Matsakis, 1991). Research indicates that 46% of children who are raped are victims of family members, with 11% of rape victims being raped by their fathers or stepfathers; 16% are raped by relatives while the victims were children (wcasa.org). Incest victims were more likely than controls to report feeling damaged, psychologically injured, estranged from one or both parents, and shamed by others when they tried to open up about their experience. They had been eroticized early on by the incest experience, and it interfered with their adult sexuality. Incest victims experienced coitus earlier than controls and after reaching age 18 had more sex partners and were more likely to have casual sex outside their primary relationship and engage in sex for money than controls. They also had worse scores on scales measuring depression, sexual satisfaction, and communication about sex than controls (Stroebel, 2012).
Population that is affected
One out of three girls, and one out of seven boys, is sexually abused by the time they reach the age of eighteen. The traditional definition of incest is sexual intercourse between blood relatives: it is illegal to marry one's close relative because of such a close relationship and the increased incidence of genetic disease among the resulting offspring. There is now an evolving definition of incest that takes into consideration the betrayal of trust and the power imbalance in these one-sided relationships. One such definition is: the imposition of sexually inappropriate acts, or acts with sexual overtones by one or more persons who derive authority through ongoing emotional bonding with that child (Uplink.com). This definition expands the traditional definition of incest to include sexual abuse by anyone who has authority or power over the child. This definition of incest includes as perpetrators: immediate/extended family members, babysitters, school teachers, scout masters, priests/ministers, etc. "Incest between an adult and a related child or adolescent is now recognized as the most prevalent form of child sexual abuse and as one with great potential for damage to the child (uplink.com).
Most research concludes that girls and women are at substantially higher risk of being sexually assaulted than males (Matsakis, 1991). Furthermore, sibling sexual abuse is identified as the most common form of familial sexual abuse. Extant literature is plagued by definitional inconsistencies, data limitations, and inadequate research methodology. Trivialized as "normal" sexual exploration, sibling sexual abuse has been linked to psychosocial/psychosexual dysfunction for all involved (Krienert, 2011). A recent study of all state prisoners serving time for violent crime in 1991 revealed that of all those convicted for rape or sexual assault, two-thirds victimized children and three out of four of their victims were young girls. However, estimates of male incest may be low due to the fact that, while girls are extremely hesitant to disclose incest, boys are probably even less likely to report. Boys may be especially reluctant to admit incest victimization because of the sexual details and their fear it may indicate to others a weakness and even homosexuality, which can result in negative social stigmatization. Common threats may include: that the child would be removed from the family if they do not succumb to the offender’s wishes; that they would be blamed for hurting the family if the offender is arrested; or that a sibling would be sexually abused if the victim does not consent.
Characteristics of the offender
Often the offender will act needy or emotionally distraught as a result of marital problems, thereby needing the attention of the victim. The molestation usually occurs over an extended period of time, occasionally into the victim's adulthood. Through intimidation, the child is made to feel responsible for the molestation and for keeping the acts secret. This secret is normally kept between the offender and the victim, or within the immediate family. There are many situations where a family with children can be vulnerable, such as single parent families where the parent has a full time job and is attempting to fulfill the role of both parents as well as run the household or in situations where family conflicts leave a child feeling alienated or abandoned.
Some male offenders seek out mothers who are single parents for the purpose of victimizing their children. In these cases, the perpetrator may have a genuine attraction to the mother but develop the hidden agenda of pursuit of the children as victims. Children from all types of families may be vulnerable to child molesters. Any youth whose needs for attention or affection are not being met are at particular risk. It is important to remember, however, that because adults have power over children that any child can be at risk.
Interestingly, the similar genetic profiles that make incest seemingly taboo among family members may be partly to blame when they are faulty. Foundational principles of evolutionary theory predict that inbreeding avoidance mechanisms should exist in all species--including humans--in which close genetic relatives interact during periods of sexual maturity. Voluminous empirical evidence, derived from diverse taxa, supports this prediction. Despite such results, Fraley and Marks claim to provide evidence that humans are sexually attracted to close genetic relatives and that such attraction is held in check by cultural taboos (Lieberman, 2011). Moreover, some scientists believe there is a genetic base for the desire to mate with one's relatives that essentially breaks down and becomes faulty in certain perpetrators of the abuse (Puritenen, 2011). While there is no medical treatment for this type of illness currently, we may one day see a 'vaccine' against incest that may well protect our children.
Talking to Your Children
Because offenders get their power through secrecy, the single most effective means of protecting your child is open dialogue with your children. Kids have to feel comfortable discussing sensitive matters with you. If they feel they can talk with you about their true feelings and that they will be not 'put down' or punished for it, then they will be more likely to tell you when they are put in an uncomfortable situation by a potential child molester. Also, children need to know that there are many adults who can help if they have a problem.
Legislation and Media attempt to help with the Issue
We scream, we rant, we condemn, and we demand and enact legislation to punish perpetrators (sex offenders) for sexual abuse of children to little avail. The media and magazine articles have joined in the campaign to illuminate the problem after the damage is done. Among the findings of a study titled, 'The Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children in the US, Canada and Mexico', 325,000 children are sexually exploited in the United States annually. Of that figure, 121,911 ran away from home and 51,602 were thrown out of their homes by a parent or guardian.
Something can be done. Prevention strategies teach parents what abuse is, what to do about it, and how children can protect themselves. This practical hands-on approach, based on clinical and parenting experience, provides parents with:
- Five key techniques to abuse-proof your child
- Step-by-step instructions on what to do if you suspect or your child states or alludes to sexual abuse (11 steps)
- Compelling reasons to avoid spanking your child,
- How to choose a child-care worker to come into your home
- How to choose a day-care facility
- How to 'abuse-proof' your child from perpetrators, who are coaches, teachers, clergy, child care workers or anyone who has contact with a child, including a parent or other family members
In fact, the father (or father-figure) is the most frequent abuser, followed by, in descending order, an uncle, grandfather, mother, sibling, cousin, or aunt. The frequency of abuse by coaches and others who have contact with children comprise approximately 19 per cent. Abuse by strangers, while equally reprehensible because it usually involves abduction, is actually the least common of all types. Government studies reveal only four per cent of all abductions are by strangers. Of that four per cent, only one per cent is sexually abused. Sadly, the majority of us want to believe strangers and others who have contact with our children are the problem. A recently published book, Protecting The Gift, by Gavin De Becker, is an excellent work on teaching children to protect themselves from acquaintance and stranger abuse. However, the author falls short of teaching children the critical skills to protect themselves from the most frequent sexual abuse perpetrators - family members. 'If I'd Only Known ... Sexual Abuse In or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention', addresses this critical issue.
Although the Sports Illustrated article, 'Dateline', and the book, 'Protecting The Gift,' are valuable works, they leave the impression that perpetrators outside the family are abusing the majority of children. This is not only incorrect; it is tragic, because while we are all focusing on the dangerous and unknown 'boogeyman' outside the family, the majority of perpetrators who are abusing children are actually within the home, silently continuing to abuse them. We, as individuals and as a society, must deal with the cost of lost or damaged lives.
The seven parent-approved and kid-tested prevention strategies proposed in 'If I'd Only Known' is as timely today as when it was first published in 2000, and has never become outdated in its usage or effectiveness. Sexual abuse and incest of children has been a world crisis since the beginning of time and there are no indications in any society that it will become non-existent (defendthechildren.com).
Long Term Effects of Incest/Child molestation
Incest can have serious long-term effects on its victims. One study concluded that among the survivors of incest who were victimized by their mothers, 60% of the girls had eating disorders, as did one-25% of the men. Of the 93 women and nine men included in this study, 80% of the women and all of the men reported sexual problems in their adult life. In addition, almost two-thirds of the women stated that they never or rarely went to the doctor for necessary medical care because the examination was too terrifying for them. Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) -- which includes amnesia, nightmares and flashbacks -- also remains prevalent among incest survivors. Additionally, there is research which indicates that children who have been sexually abused by a relative suffers from even more intense guilt and shame, low self-esteem, depression and self-destructive behavior (such as substance abuse, sexual promiscuity and prostitution) than children who have been sexually assaulted by a stranger (Matsakis, 1991). Whether an incest victim endured an isolated incident of abuse or ongoing assaults over an extended period of time, the process of recovery can be exceptionally painful and difficult.
What should be done?
The recovery process begins with admission of abuse and the recognition that help and services are needed. There are services and resources available for incest victims both children and adult survivors of incest. Resources for incest victims include books, self-help groups, workshops, short and long-term therapy programs, and possible legal remedies. Many survivors of incest have formed self-help/support groups where they along with other incest survivors can discuss their victimization and find role models who have survived incest (Beverly, 1987).
In addition to believing, listening to, and helping victims of incest in their process of recovery, we need to simultaneously search for ways to prevent future generations from enduring such abuse and from continuing the cycles of abuse within their own family and relationships.
In conclusion, there is nothing new under the sun, in the Old Testament God forbid incest:
17 “‘if a man marries his sister, the daughter of either his father or his mother, and they have sexual relations, it is a disgrace. They are to be publicly removed from their people. He has dishonored his sister and will be held responsible.
19 “‘Do not have sexual relations with the sister of either your mother or your father, for that would dishonor a close relative; both of you would be held responsible.
20 “‘If a man has sexual relations with his aunt, he has dishonored his uncle. They will be held responsible; they will die childless.
21 “‘If a man marries his brother’s wife, it is an act of impurity; he has dishonored his brother. They will be childless.
22 “‘Keep all my decrees and laws and follow them, so that the land where I am bringing you to live may not vomit you out. 23 You must not live according to the customs of the nations I am going to drive out before you. Because they did all these things, I abhorred them. 24 But I said to you, “You will possess their land; I will give it to you as an inheritance, a land flowing with milk and honey.” I am the Lord your God, who has set you apart from the nations (Leviticus 20:18-22. NIV).
It is our job as parents to arm our children with information to make them feel secure enough to let us know if someone is abusing them, if not we will end up with a society of emotionally broken men and women.
Reference
C. Beverly. (1987). The Impact of Incest. Center City, MN: Hazelden Educational Materials.
D. Finkelhor. (1983). The Dark Side of Families: Current Family Violence Research. Newbury Park, CA: Sage Publications.
D. Lisak. (1994). “The Psychological Impact of Sexual Abuse: Content Analysis of Interviews with male Survivors”. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 7(4):525-548.
A. Matsakis. (1991). When the Bough Breaks. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.
Incest/Sexual Abuse of Children. Retrieved from
Sexual Assault Victims/Survivors: Defining the Problem and the Population
Trends in Childhood Violence and Abuse Exposure: Evidence from 2 National Surveys (2008). Finkelhor, D, Hamby, S., Ormrod, R,.Turner, H.,. Retrieved from
Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault retrieved from
The Holy Bible. Leviticus 20:18-22 NIV.
retrieved 5/22/2012
Krienert, J. (2011) Sibling sexual abuse: an empirical analysis of offender, victim, and event characteristics in National Incident-Based Reporting System (NIBRS) data, 2000-2007. J Child Sex Abus. 2011 Jul-Aug;20(4):353-72. doi: 10.1080/10538712.2011.588190.
Lieberman, D. (2011) The relationship between familial resemblance and sexual attraction: an update on Westermarck, Freud, and the incest taboo. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2011 Sep;37(9):1229-32. Epub 2011 Apr 27.
Puurtinen M. (2011) Mate choice for optimal (k)inbreeding. Evolution. 2011 May;65(5):1501-5. doi: 10.1111/j.1558-5646.2010.01217.x. Epub 2011 Jan 5.
Stroebel, S. (2012) Father-daughter incest: data from an anonymous computerized survey. J Child Sex Abus. 2012;21(2):176-99.