A Book Study

Of

Power Struggles

Successful Techniques for Educators

By Allen N. Mendler, Ph.D.

Developed by

Austin Positive Behavior Support

and staff at Martin Middle School

Privately respond to the statements

How do/would you respond to the follow statements?

You can’t make me.
Whatever!
That’s stupid.
Eye rolling.

A three-prong Approach (pg. 4-6)

Comprehensive approach to discipline requires skills:

  • Crisis Management
  • Short-term strategies
  • Long-term strategies

Identifying the problem(pg. 6-8)

Power struggles can begin when a student

  • Refuses to follow rules
  • Will not accept consequences or accepts with an “attitude”
  • Is hostile
  • Is actively or passively defiant
  • Exhibits verbally challenging or nonverbally challenging behavior (habitually late, head down, throwing things, shooting the finger etc)

Complete the table;generate a list of defiance examples you have experienced and your reactions and responses.

What forms of verbal and nonverbal defiant behaviors have you experienced? / How do you feel when you are on the receiving end ofdefiance? / How do you usually react in the situation? / How do you want to react to the situation?

Take a few moments to discuss your experiences, reactions and responses with a partner/group.

Are you content with your responses to defiant students?

Does your responselead to the desired student reactioin?

What does work?(pg. 9-10)

The three most common motivations that drive people to attack others is the needs for

  • Respect
  • Belonging
  • Power

Ensure students feel

  • They are treated with respect and dignity
  • Bonded, connect with your students to build a positive relationship
  • That they have some influence and control

Prevention Strategies(pg. 11-19)

Reviewing/modifying lesson plans that reflect the following types of motivating activities can increase positive behavior.

  1. Convey warmth
  1. Greet students
  2. Call by name
  3. Keep attuned to their needs and interests
  4. 2X10 Method (two minutes of uninterrupted undivided attention to student for 10 consecutive days)
  5. Call students at home

2. Give opportunities for students to be in charge

  1. Let them make some of the rules
  2. Give responsible jobs
  3. Put them in charge of pets, plants or people
  4. One-week positivity campaign (find one attribute you like in your most challenging student focus on that at least once each day for a week)
  5. Defer to their opinion, “Go ask Amy about that. She is good at ______”

3. Be respectful of differences in the ways students learn

  1. Interviewing people, taking field trips, acting things out, building or drawing things, making collections, carrying out independent projects

Practices that negatively influence behavior (pg. 19-21)

  1. Static, not moving around mingling
  2. Monotone or low voice
  3. Teacher is easily sidetracked
  4. Tied solely to text ignoring student interest
  5. Repeating student answers too frequently
  6. Concepts left too soon, independent work before understanding
  7. Poorly worded questions cloud discussion
  8. When only the teacher answers student questions
  9. No connection to prior knowledge
  10. Much focus on lesson over what is being learned

Ten Things to Think Through(pg. 21-22)

  1. When you visit someone in their home, what are some things they do that help you feel welcome? ______

______

  1. What practices from the list in #1 could apply in your classroom? ______

______

  1. What teacher(s) did you have when you were in school that made you feel special or important? What did they do that gave you that feeling? ______

______

  1. Identify at least three practices you can do without changing your basic style of teaching that could promote a sense of connection with your students in the classroom.

1. ______

2.______

3.______

  1. Visit at least three other teachers on campus while they are teaching. Identify practices that you see them using that you consider to be good ways of building warmth.

______

  1. What responsible jobs can you assign to your students to give them a sense of importance within the classroom? ______

______

  1. What values do you believe are necessary for good learning and teaching to occur?

______

  1. After you identify these values (#7), invite your students to develop or modify classroom rules that reflect each of these values. (Or have a rationale for how the rules reflect thevalues – if you don’t have a rationale, consider changing the rule.)
  1. What realistic activities or experiences involving people or pets can you generate for your students who are low in empathy so that they can relearn how to care for others?

______

  1. When teaching each lesson, can you make the goals of the lesson clear to yourself and your students? A common challenge of student is to ask “why” they need to learn what is being taught. Aside from the fact that it might be on the test, work to help them understand how the learningis likely to provide benefits. ______

______

Connecting with Students(From Allen Mendler, Connecting with Students, 2001)

Personal connection means finding ways to create an atmosphere of trust, so that students want to learn what we have to share.

  • Smile!
  • Collect personal index cards.
  • Greet every student you see in the hall.
  • Greet students as they arrive at your door.
  • Send home birthday cards.
  • Keep pictures of your family or friends posted in class.
  • Ask an opinion from a student who rarely offers anything.
  • Think aloud.
  • Offer notes of appreciation.
  • Give occasional “positive paradoxical” notes.
  • Allow students to “borrow” personal artifacts.
  • Develop cueing signals with troubled students.
  • Play their music occasionally.
  • Acknowledge a personal imperfection (behavior or personality).
  • Be a chaperone.
  • Notice writings/drawing with unusual or unique themes.
  • Sponsor a personal initiative.
  • Each week, ask students to share one thing that you can do better for them and tell individuals or the class one thing they can do better for you.
  • Call a student at home and share feedback.
  • Call parents (or send home a note) complimenting their child.
  • Visit the cafeteria and eat lunch with a student who appears disconnected.
  • Apologize for mistakes.
  • Notice when someone is acting differently and acknowledge it.
  • Show up at an event that involves a student(s).
  • Notice absence (phone, e-mail, note).
  • Offer personal “best” awards.

Academic connection strategies offer many ways to encourage success in content areas. Students will not connect with school unless they believe that they can succeed.

  • Take photos of students as they are working on projects. (See policy.)
  • Congratulate five students each class on something they achieved.
  • Ask a nonparticipating student an open-ended question.
  • Give humorous “recognitions of achievement” awards.
  • Be characters you’ve studied.
  • Connect the content with current issues of meaning.
  • Differentiate instruction.
  • Limit pop quizzes.
  • Give a rain-check.
  • Have an “on-a-roll” program.
  • Help your students relax.

Social connections among students convert the barriers that often divide us into bridges that link students with each other – and with the adults in their lives.

  • Have a problems-solutions center.
  • Have a thank-you center or bulletin board.
  • Play “Find someone who. . .”
  • Encourage students to help with each other’s problems.
  • Create a “new student buddy” role.
  • Hold occasional class meetings.
  • Have “relevant” issues time.
  • Bury put-downs.
  • Start a suggestion box.
  • Teach the use of “I” messages.

The Hostility Cycle(pg. 28-31)

Notes:______

The Hostility Cycle

  1. What do students do that trigger hostility in you?
  1. Why do you think they do these things?
  1. Using the hostility cycle on this page, think if one student with whom you often have power struggles. Write down what the student says or does that triggers you. Write down how you usually respond. Write down how the student responds to your response. Can you see how the hostility cycleis at the root of power struggles?

Reframing(pg. 31-38)

When students engage in “button pushing,” obnoxious or personally objectionable behaviors

  • Substitute less powerful words and images for those that are disturbing.
  • Learn to see less threatening images generated by the student.
  • It is important to be forgiving of both the student for triggering anger and for myself for losing control.
  • Highlight the person’s benefits rather than the specific outcome.
  • You can and will often choose to implement a consequence – it is the degree of emphasis that is important.

Reframing can be a very powerful way of regaining a sense of personal control so that we can go back to the drawing board and begin to rethink ways of best reaching a challenging student. Some examples are included below.

PersonallyObjectionable Behaviors / Reframing
  1. Cursing/offensive gestures
/
  1. She said “chair” or is waving hello.

  1. Late to class
/
  1. At least the student came to class.

  1. Temper tantrum
/
  1. Showed self control by not ______, it was better than it could have been.

  1. Excessive talking
/
  1. Others learn how to work with distractions present.

Activity for Reframing

The concept: “People accommodate change more readily when they do not feel forced to let go of the familiar.”

  1. Identify a chronically irritating student. ______
  1. Identify the problem behavior. ______
  1. Identify positive aspects and benefits of the student’s behavior. Relatively speaking, what is acceptable about the student’s behavior? How do you, the class or lastly, the student benefit? ______

______

  1. Imagine the student is in front of you and try to express these benefits genuinely. You may also express your displeasure and/or give a consequence, but you must highlight the benefits.
  1. Implement the strategy with a student who shows excessive inappropriate behavior, even after more conventional strategies have been tried.

Defusing Power Struggles

Goals of Defusing(Pg. 38-41)

There are four goals that are very helpful to achieve when defusing a power struggle.

  1. Dignity for the student
  2. Dignity for yourself
  3. Keep the student in class
  4. Teach an alternative to aggression

Basic Defusing Skills(Pg. 41-45)

  1. P.E.P.
  • Privacy, eye contact, and proximity
  1. Nonverbal P.E.P.
  • Index cards or post-it notes that convey either corrective or appreciative statements
  1. L.A.A.D.
  • Listening, Acknowledging, Agreeing, Deferring

Defusing Activity (pg. 45-47)

Write down things that students say or do which trigger anger in you and make you want to fight back. ______

______

Are there any nonverbal behaviors that students do which seem designed to push your buttons?

______

Imagine a student us now doing one of the above behaviors. Using the L.A.A.D. paradigm, practice writing and then saying a statement or statements in each category.

A. Problem behavior that pushes my button ______

B. Strategies

  1. Listening ______
  2. Acknowledging ______
  3. Agreeing ______
  4. Deferring ______

Defusing Statements(pg. 47-49)

  • Can you explain how that makes you feel?
  • We’ll discuss it after class.
  • We’ll talk after class.
  • Does anyone else have that concern?
  • I’m sure that was very hard . . .
  • What do you think happened?
  • Are you having a bad day?
  • I can tell you’re having a really bad day. Can I do something for you?
  • What had happened?
  • Please write down everything that happened – how you see the situation.
  • Did I do something to make you mad?
  • You seem upset today . . .
  • I don’t treat you the way you’re treating me right now.
  • I can tell you’re frustrated.
  • I hear what you are saying.
  • Let’s step back and take a breath.
  • How can I help you get started with your work?
  • Explain what happened to make you so upset.
  • I like your energy/enthusiasm, but . . .
  • I’ll be happy to listen to what you have to say.
  • I did not show you disrespect, so please do not disrespect me.
  • Hold on, I’ll be right with you.
  • Let’s count to 15 and think about what we can do.
  • Please tell me about the issue.
  • Give me more information. I want to understand what you’re talking about.

List compiled by teachers at Austin High School, 2009-2010

Practice defusing statements(pg. 49-50)

  1. Write down a button-pushing behavior that you experience from a student.
  2. Picture the student being right in front of you.
  3. Pick one of the defusing statements and say it while trying to use a tone of voice that conveys firmness and respect.
  4. Practice that statement at least five times.
  5. Pick another if that one doesn’t seem to fit and repeat.
  6. Continue as needed.

Additional steps that may be necessary(pg. 50-54)

  1. State the rule and consequence using P.E.P.
  2. Ignore the last hook.
  3. Use listening and acknowledging.
  4. Use agreeing and defer.
  5. Tell there is a power struggle happening.
  6. Offer the door, but invite to stay.
  7. Give temporary control.
  8. Decide if a consequence is necessary.

Private Three-step Technique (pg. 54-55)

  1. Use an “I-message.”
  2. Use the “what have I done.”
  3. Use the “problem solving.”

Private three-step activity (pg. 55-57)

  1. Think of a student who regularly does something that bothers you.
  2. Identify a time that you can be alone with the student.
  3. Use the three-step
  4. I-message – “When you do ______, I feel ______.”
  5. “We have a problem. What have I done to you to deserve the way you’ve been treating me in class?” Or, “I must have done something to make you feel so upset. Please tell me what it is.”
  6. “If we have a problem, then we need to work it out.”

It is important that these words are spoken slowly, with good (not forced) eye contact, and in a firm yet respectful manner.

Dealing with the rest of the class(pg. 57-61)

  1. Defuse the power struggle be using one of the techniques suggested earlier.
  2. Acknowledge that a challenge occurred.
  3. Safeguard your and the challenging student’s dignity.
  4. Use humor, when possible (not sarcasm).
  5. Redirect class attention to the lesson.
  6. Remind yourself to include practices of prevention.

Follow-up with the student(pg. 61-62)

  • Refuse to give up on difficult students.
  • A bad day needs to be followed by a welcoming attitude on the part of the teacher.
  • If you explode at the student in front of the class and probably contributed to embarrassment, this is perfect time to offer an apology.

Power Struggle Scenarios(pg. 62-63)

  1. Nancy is working and her teacher begins to pass out papers to other students. She gets agitated for no apparent reason and exclaims, “This class is stupid!”
  2. A teacher asks a child to stop running in the hall. The student responds, “You can’t make me, fatso!”
  3. Bill raises his hand to answer a question in class. His teacher calls on another student. Bill slams his hand down on his desk and yells, “I’m done raising my hand, you never call on me.”
  4. Ann continually blurts out answers without raising her hand.
  5. George regularly leaves his seat to visit others during work time.
  6. Lafonso refuses to work in cooperative group.
  7. Horace makes faces at other students to annoy them during class discussion.