Revision Workshop

In your group of three-ish, pass your essay to the right. Everyone should now have an essay that is not his/her own.

Now, read the introduction of your peer’s first essay.

  1. Is it effective? Why or why not?
  2. Does it include: an attention-grabbing opener, background information, an interesting anecdote, the thesis statement (or implied thesis)?

Next, read the conclusion of your peer’s first essay.

  1. Is it effective? Why or why not?
  2. Do you understand the significance of the information presented? Does your peer sound convicted? Is the conclusion convincing?

Follow these two steps…

  1. Read the topic sentence of the 1st body paragraph. What does it indicate that this paragraph (ONLY) will be about?
  2. Read the topic sentence of the 3rd body paragraph. What does it indicate that this paragraph (ONLY) will be about?

Repeat these steps with your peer’s second essay.

Read the introduction of your peer’s second essay.

  1. Is it effective? Why or why not?
  2. Does it include: an attention-grabbing opener, background information, an interesting anecdote, the thesis statement (or implied thesis)?

Read the conclusion of your peer’s second essay.

  1. Is it effective? Why or why not?
  2. Do you understand the significance of the information presented? Does your peer sound convicted? Is the conclusion convincing?

And, again, follow these two steps…

  1. Read the topic sentence of the 1st body paragraph. What does it indicate that this paragraph (ONLY) will be about?
  2. Read the topic sentence of the 3rd body paragraph. What does it indicate that this paragraph (ONLY) will be about?

READ BOTH ESSAYS (to yourself) IN THEIR ENTIRETY.

Complete these steps with both essays.

  1. Circle the weakest paragraph. Why does it need to be improved? How can it be improved?
  2. Underline the weakest sentence. Why does it need to be improved? How can it be improved?
  3. Put an “X” beside two places in each essay where the author needs another example, more detail, or a better explanation.
  4. Put a star beside the thesis statement.
  5. Define the audience for each essay. Could they work for the same audience?

Give the essay back to the author (with comments on a separate sheet of paper), and discuss your findings.

THEN, pass your essays to the left and REPEAT THE ABOVE STEPS.

FINALLY (in conclusion), show your essay drafts (w/comments) to me, and you are free to go!

(Piece of cake, right?)