Hydro Polymers Fell Walking Club

Hydro Polymers Fell Walking Club

Newsletter December 2007

Well that’s another year over so it’s time to start thinking about next year and the new walking possibilities on the attached list. Put them in your diaries now. The first walk will be on the 19th of January in that ever popular area between Skipton and Grassington. Some of the walks have not got a nominated leader so if there is anyone who would like to arrange one of these walks let me know.

The AGM was well attended and there being a lot of business to cover it was a long session. John Masson has resigned as chairman and Alan Holmes was nominated and elected to take over.

There were some changes to the rules as a result of the AGM. One important one is that “no shows” will be asked to contribute their fare. There are usually 3 to 5 who don’t turn up and although there hasn’t been a waiting list for a long time, on occasions I’ve had to ask for the next size bus when it wasn’t necessary.

Another change to the rules to try to encourage new members is that the membership fee will not be due until the second trip i.e. one “free” trip paying only the fare. Also to try to increase the membership, the walks will be announced in the Northern Echo on the “what’s on” pages before the walk.

The future of the club was discussed and Alan Holmes presented a SWOT analysis (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats) which highlighted the facts that the use of coaches, the freedom of the walks and the general relaxed manner where individuals can do their own thing, were things that should be preserved in the future. The uncertainty over the future of Hydro Polymers means that the club will need to be self sufficient and ways of reducing our expenditures were discussed. Hire of the coach is obviously the biggest expenditure and possible alternatives to Gardners will be looked at. So don’t just look out for the beige coaches next time you turn up for the walk.

The SWOT team will be continuing its work during the year so if you have any opinions on the club’s future, please contact one of the team members.

As for Hydro Polymers, it’s still here. The European Union are investigating whether a take over by Ineos will constitute a breach of competition laws in the UK (and Scandinavia, but since Ineos do not have a presence there anyway, nothing will change.) The decision is expected sometime in February and then we will either be Ineos or Kerling.

Financially the club is doing OK, if that’s not too excessive. We made a very small profit over the year, but two trips, to the Peak District and Coquet Dale, had very poor attendance and so lost money. The numbers normally fall off over the summer but the Peak District was the first trip for a long time in August, possibly a bad month because of holidays. It was decided to run another trip next August, in a more popular area, in this case Blanchland to Allendale when the heather is out. At the AGM the committee was given a mandate to increase the fares if necessary, if we look like losing money during the year.

The prize draw has made a good profit which looks like being a new record. I’d like to thank the members who donated prizes for the draw. This has contributed to the record.

And finally I’ve found that some people actually read my “and finally” jokes. For their benefit and for those who missed any, I’ve attached the definitive list. If I think of any more I’ll continue to put them on the walks descriptions.

A Final Groan

For those of you who have missed some, or are just masochistic, here is the definitive collection of “and finally”

1.  When Father Christmas came down our road this year (in the form of a Rotary Club member collecting for charity), his elves were dressed in high visibility jackets. It’s nice to know that even Father Christmas is interested in elfin safety.

2.  Two Eskimos went out for a canoe trip. One was cold and tried to light a fire, but it burnt a hole in his canoe and it sank. Which shows you can’t have your kayak and heat it!

3.  Two buzzards were watching a farmer shooting rabbits in a field. One buzzard flew down and snatched a rabbit in his talons and flew off. The other buzzard flew down and grabbed a rabbit in each claw but couldn’t take off because of the weight. The farmer saw this and shot the buzzard. The buzzard should have realised that you are only allowed one carrion on flights.

4.  If you think my jokes are bad, then in the words of the German chef, “ze wurst is yet to come”.

5.  Mahatma Ghandi, the Indian mystic, walked many miles in his bare feet, which gave him bad calluses. He also ate very little which made him weak and eating Indian food gave him bad breath. All this made him: - a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. (I did warn you it would get worse.)

6.  In Italy there are numerous ancient buildings from different periods. In particular they are proud of their Baroque architecture, but it is costing so much to maintain these, that there is no money for the other buildings. In fact it’s a case of, if it ‘aint Baroque, they don’t fix it.

7.  A butcher walked into a pet shop and saw this wonderful bird. He told the owner “I must have it but I haven’t any money on me”. “That’s all right”, said the owner, “You can give me some of that lovely German sausage you make, when I next see you”. It was then that the butcher took a tern for the wurst.

8.  Two men were crossing the Sahara, desperately short of water. They see a village and went to the market place. At the first stall they ask for water. “Sorry I only sell fruit” says the stall holder. They go to the second stall and ask but he only sells jelly. The third stall they find only sells custard. As they wander off despondently, one says to the other “That was strange”. “Strange?” says the other “It was a trifle bazaar”.

9.  A wildebeest applied to NASA and was accepted, so around the planet a brave gnu whirled.

10.  In Paris they are planning to demolish an old flooring factory using explosives. It’s your last chance to see Linoleum Blown-apart.

11.  I’ve been putting my amusing little jokes in the notes for ten outings now. I had hoped that they would raise a laugh, but then no pun in ten did.

12.  On the camping meet I was reminded about the importance of having a good tent. History has been changed by buying cheap tents. Richard III was defeated because his army deserted when their tents were blown away, hence the line in Shakespeare: “Now is the wind tear of our discount tents”.