A: the Furniture Will Be Here by Five. They Promised

RASABOXES Text

Monologue

All men and beasts, lions, eagles, and quails, horned stags, geese, spiders, silent fish that inhabit the waves, starfish from the sea, and creatures invisible to the eye—in one word, life—all, all life, completing the dreary round imposed upon it, has died out at last. A thousand years have passed since the earth last bore a living creature on her breast, and the unhappy moon now lights her lamp in vain. No longer are the cries of storks heard in the meadows, or the drone of beetles in the groves of limes. All is cold, cold. All is void, void, void. All is terrible, terrible— [A pause] The bodies of all living creatures have dropped to dust, and eternal matter has transformed them into stones and water and clouds; but their spirits have flowed together into one, and that great world-soul am I! In me is the spirit of the great Alexander, the spirit of Napoleon, of Caesar, of Shakespeare, and of the tiniest leech that swims. In me the consciousness of man has joined hands with the instinct of the animal; I understand all, all, all, and each life lives again in me.

Dialogue

A: The furniture will be here by five. They promised.

B: Five? … It’s five-thirty. What do we do, sleep in Bloomingdale’s tonight?

A: They’ll be here. They’re probably stuck in traffic.

B: And what about tonight? I’ve got a case in court tomorrow. Maybe we should check into a hotel.

A: We just checked out of a hotel. I don’t care if the furniture doesn’t come. I’m sleeping in my apartment tonight.

B: Where? Where? There’s only room for one in the bathtub. Where’s the bathtub?

A: There is no bathtub.

B: No bathtub?

A: There’s a shower …

B: How am I going to take a bath?

A: You won’t take a bath. You’ll take a shower.

B: I don’t like showers. I like baths. How am I going to take a bath?

A: You’ll lie down in the shower and hang your feet over the sink …. I’m sorry there’s no bathtub.

B: Hmmmm … Boy, of all the nights … It’s freezing in here. Isn’t there any heat?

A: Of course there’s heat. We have a radiator.

B: The radiator’s the coldest thing in the room.

A: It’s probably the boiler. It’s probably off in the whole building.

B: No, it was warm coming up the stairs. See … It’s nice and warm out here.

A: Maybe it’s because the apartment is empty.

B: The hall is empty too but it’s warm out here.

A: It’ll be all right once I get a fire going.

B: A fire? You’d have to keep the flame going night and day … I’ll call the landlord.

A: He’s not home.

B: Where is he?

A: In Florida! There’s a handyman that comes Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

B: You mean we freeze on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays?

A: He’ll be here in the morning.

B: And what’ll we do tonight? I’ve got a case in court in the morning.

A: Will you stop saying it like you always have a case in court in the morning. This is your first case.