Social and Emotional Goals for Y.O.U. Youth: Social and Emotional Learning Core Competencies

Social and Emotional Goals for Y.O.U. youth

Editor’s Note: The goals described below are an integration of goals generated by the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning and by Y.O.U. staff. What is absolutely remarkable is how closely the goals generated by the Y.O.U. team mirror the best practices outlined by CASEL. It is yet another testament to the incredible knowledge and wisdom that comes from our extraordinary team.

Y.O.U.’s Vision for Our Youth’s Social and Emotional Learning

Y.O.U.’s programs, services, and activities are all centered on building positive relationships that support the emotional well-being of youth. We relate to youth in ways that help them develop self-awareness, cope with stress and feel in control of their emotions. Our respect for them as whole people helps them believe in themselves, and know that others believe in them. And Y.O.U. provides a steadying anchor, especially when life at school or at home feels turbulent.

There is no question that our youth are growing up in a socially complex world. Y.O.U. helps build socially maturity that is age appropriate, from our third graders to our twelfth graders. We help kids build effective communication and healthy, positive relationships with each other, with adults, with their families, and with their communities. We encourage youth to think intentionally about their roles in the community, and to embrace their civic responsibilities as well as to develop their empathy and compassion towards others. Most importantly, we provide consistent care and positive regard for our youth that gives them the courage and insight they need to face and overcome even the toughest social challenges and the support to help them develop the guiding ethical and moral frameworks that they will use to navigate the world.

Social and Emotional Learning Goals for Y.O.U. Youth

Know Yourself and Others

Identify feelings: recognizing and labeling one’s feelings

  • I recognize and accept my emotions as normal, even when difficult
  • I am self-aware
  • I am continually exploring my identity
  • I am willing and able to identify and verbalize my needs

Be responsible: understanding one’s obligation to engage in legal, safe, ethical behaviors

  • I understand the purposes of rules and how to deal with rules I think shouldchange
  • I recognize and respect my own boundaries and the boundaries of others

Recognizing strengths: recognizing and cultivating one’s positive qualities

  • I feel genuine confidence and high self esteem
  • I am internally resilient
  • I am self-aware and self-confident
  • I am continually building my leadership skills

Make Responsible Decisions

  • I exercise age-appropriate life skills

Manage emotions: regulating feelings so that they aid rather than impede the handling of situations

  • I adapt to change and can cope with what can’t be changed
  • I can manage my reactions in the moment and over time
  • I can regulate my own emotions and behaviors
  • I am internally resilient
  • I deal with day-to-day stress
  • I understand and deal with trauma
  • I am able to be humble

Understand situations: accurately understanding the circumstances one is in

  • I understand and evaluate varying values and messages
  • I can recognize and overcome obstacles
  • I understand and meet the challenges of my development
  • I understand sexuality in ways that are appropriate for my age
  • I am able to filter and manage varying messages

Set goals and plans: establishing and working toward achievement of specific short- and long-term outcomes

  • I am motivated
  • I set goals to shape my future

Solve problems creatively: engaging in a creative, disciplined process of exploring alternative possibilities that leads to responsible, goal-directed action, including overcoming obstacles to plans

  • I can resolve problems and recover from them
  • I am able to see range of solutions to problems or conflicts
  • I recognize and manage obstacles

Care for Others

Show empathy: identifying and understanding the thoughts and feelings of others

  • I am able to understand others’ perspectives, even when they are different from
  • I have the capacity for empathy, caring, and kindness

Respect others: believing that others deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion as part of our shared humanity

  • I respect myself and others

Appreciate diversity: understanding that individual and group differences complement one another and add strength and adaptability to the world around us

  • I am interested in building my knowledge and understanding of the world
  • I am respectful and appreciative of cultural and lifestyle differences

Know How to Act: I am socially confident and competent

Communicate effectively: using verbal and nonverbal skills to express oneself and promote effective exchanges with others

  • I express my emotions in appropriate ways
  • I am continually building my communication skills
  • I am able to be assertive
  • I understand and practice civility
  • I am willing and able to identify and verbalize my needs
  • I am able and willing to accept constructive criticism
  • I can communicate with parents and other adults, even when the topic is difficult
  • I present myself well

Build relationships: establishing and maintaining healthy and rewarding connections with individuals and groups

  • I understand the importance of relationships and relationship building
  • I can forgive myself and others
  • I am engaged in my community/s
  • I seek positive ways to experience a sense of community
  • I recognize and respect my own boundaries and the boundaries of others
  • I am able to trust
  • I can show love and be vulnerable, and still feel safe

Negotiate fairly: achieving mutually satisfactory resolutions to conflict by addressing the needs of all concerned

  • I am willing and able to advocate for myself
  • I am willing and able to advocate for others
  • I can admit fault and take responsibility when I make mistakes
  • I am able to collaborate or compromise to solve conflicts
  • I evaluate what is fair with a balanced perspective

Refuse provocations: conveying and following through effectively with one’s decision not to engage in unwanted, unsafe, unethical behavior

  • I am continually building my judgment and decision-making skills
  • I exercise self-control
  • I am able to interpret and evaluate media and other cultural input
  • I can distinguish between positive and negative influences and outlets

Seek help: identifying the need for and accessing appropriate assistance and support in pursuit of needs and goals

  • I am willing and able to ask for help; and I know when and how to get help

Act ethically: guiding decisions and actions by a set of principles or standards derived from recognized legal and professional codes or moral or faith-based systems of conduct

  • I recognize that I have an impact and that it can be positive or negative
  • I am developing moral reasoning and a moral code that are parts of my belief system

Others believe in me.

  • I feel ‘seen’, listened to, known, and understood
  • I feel a sense of belonging
  • I know I am not alone

I am safe.

  • I am developing my own identity
  • I have the courage to be who I truly am
  • I feel and express joy
  • I can have fun and be child-like
  • I believe that the world can be a good place
  • I feel hopeful

Social and Emotional Goals for Y.O.U. Youth: Youth Developmental Stages (Ages 5 to 19)

From the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning

Y.O.U.’s Vision for Social and Emotional Learning is realized through the development of these five Core Competencies:

Social and Emotional Goals for Y.O.U. Youth: Youth Developmental Stages (Ages 5 to 19)

Youth Developmental Stages (Ages 5 to 19)

The context of the identification of developmental stages

As they grow and develop, young people are influenced by outside factors, such as their environment, culture, religion, school, and the media. A number of different theories or ways of looking at adolescent development have been proposed. There are biological views (G. Stanley Hall), psychological views (Freud), psychosocial views (Erikson), cognitive views (Piaget), ecological views (Bronfenbrenner), social cognitive learning views (Bandura), and cultural views (Mead). Each theory has a unique focus, but there are many similar elements.

Why is knowledge of youth developmental stages important?

At Y.O.U. we strive to support youth and adolescents as they navigate the complex path from childhood to adulthood. In order to successfully fulfill our mission, we must understand the developmental stages through which our youth are progressing. We believe that acquiring greater knowledge about the developmental stages of our youth can help us better recognize their specific needs and help serve them.

5- to 7-Year-Olds[1]

General Characteristics

  1. Eager to learn. easily fatigued. short periods of interest.
  2. Learn best when they are active while learning.
  3. Self-assertive, boastful. less cooperative, more competitive.

Physical Characteristics

  1. Very active. need frequent breaks from tasks to do things that are energetic and fun for them.
  2. Need rest periods—good quiet activities include reading books together or doing simple art projects.
  3. Large muscles are well developed. Activities involving small muscles (for example, building models that have small pieces) are difficult.
  4. May tend to be accident-prone.

Social Characteristics

  1. Enjoy organized games and are very concerned about following rules.
  2. Can be very competitive—this may lead them to cheat at games.
  3. Very imaginative and involved in fantasy-playing.
  4. Self-assertive, aggressive, boastful, want to be first. becoming less cooperative.

Emotional Characteristics

  1. Alert to feelings of others but unaware of how their own actions affect others.
  2. Very sensitive to praise and recognition. feelings are easily hurt.
  3. Inconsistent in level of maturity. regress when tired. often less mature at home than with outsiders.

Mental Characteristics

  1. Very eager to learn.
  2. Like to talk.
  3. Can be inflexible about their idea of fairness.
  4. Difficulty making decisions.

8- to 10-Year-Olds

General Characteristics

  1. Interested in people. aware of differences. willing to give more to others but also expect more.
  2. Busy, active, full of enthusiasm. may try too much. accident prone. interested in money and its value.
  3. Sensitive to criticism. recognize failure. have capacity for self-evaluation.
  4. Capable of prolonged interest. may make plans on their own.
  5. Decisive. dependable. reasonable. strong sense of right and wrong.
  6. Spend a great deal of time in talk and discussion. often outspoken and critical of adults, although still dependent on adult approval.

Physical Characteristics

  1. Very active and need frequent breaks from tasks to do things that are energetic and fun for them.
  2. Early maturers may be upset about their size—as their adult supporter, you can help by listening, explaining, that physical maturity including changes of puberty are a normal part of growing up and happen at different ages for different people.
  3. May tend to be accident-prone.

Social Characteristics

  1. Can be very competitive.
  2. Are choosy about their friends.
  3. Acceptance by friends becomes very important.
  4. Team games become popular.
  5. Often idolize heroes, television stars, and sports figures.

Emotional Characteristics

  1. Very sensitive to praise and recognition. feelings are easily hurt.
  2. Because friends become very important, can be conflicts between adults’ rules and friends’ rules—your honesty and consistency can be helpful.

Mental Characteristics

  1. Can be inflexible about their idea of fairness.
  2. Eager to answer questions.
  3. Very curious. collectors of everything, but may jump to other objects of interest after a short time.
  4. Want more independence while knowing they need guidance and support.
  5. Wide discrepancies in reading ability.

11- to 13-Year-Olds

General Characteristics

  1. Testing limits. a “know-it-all” attitude.
  2. Vulnerable. emotionally insecure. fear of rejection. mood swings.
  3. Identification with admired adults.
  4. Bodies going through physical changes that affect personal appearance.

Physical Characteristics

  1. Good coordination of small muscles. interest in art, crafts, models, and music.
  2. Early maturers may be upset about their size—as their adult supporter, you can help by listening, explaining, that physical maturity including changes of puberty are a normal part of growing up and happen at different ages for different people.
  3. Very concerned with their appearance. very self-conscious about their physical changes.
  4. May have bad diet and sleep habits and, as a result, low energy levels.

Social Characteristics

  1. Acceptance by friends becomes very important.
  2. Cliques start to develop.
  3. Team games become popular.
  4. Often have “crushes” on other people.
  5. Friends set the general rules of behavior.
  6. Feel a strong need to conform. dress and behave like their peers in order to “belong.”
  7. Very concerned with what others say and think about them.
  8. Have a tendency to try to manipulate others to get what they want.
  9. Interested in earning own money.

Emotional Characteristics

  1. Very sensitive to praise and recognition. feelings are easily hurt.
  2. Because friends are very important, can be conflicts between adults’ rules and friends’ rules.
  3. Caught between being a child and being an adult.
  4. Loud behavior may hide their lack of self-confidence.
  5. Look at the world more objectively. look at adults more subjectively, and are critical of them.

Mental Characteristics

  1. Tend to be perfectionists. if they try to attempt too much, may feel frustrated.
  2. Want more independence but know they need guidance and support.
  3. May have lengthy attention span.

Early Adolescence (Approximately 12-14 years of age)[2]

Movement Toward Independence

  • Struggle with sense of identity.
  • Moodiness.
  • Improved abilities to use speech to express oneself.
  • More likely to express feelings by action than by words.
  • Close friendships gain importance.
  • Less attention shown to parents, with occasional rudeness.
  • Realization that parents are not perfect. identification of their faults.
  • Search for new people to love in addition to parents.
  • Tendency to return to childish behavior.
  • Peer group influences interests and clothing styles.

Future interests and Cognitive Development

  • Increasing career interests.
  • Mostly interested in present and near future.
  • Greater ability to work.

Sexuality

  • Girls ahead of boys.
  • Shyness, blushing, and modesty.
  • More showing off. Greater interest in privacy.
  • Experimentation with body (masturbation).
  • Worries about being normal.

Ethics and Self-Direction

  • Rule and limit testing.
  • Occasional experimentation with cigarettes, marijuana, and alcohol.
  • Capacity for abstract thought.

Physical Changes

  • Changes of puberty continue. Early and late maturers require reassurance that their development is normal and healthy.
  • Gains in height and weight.
  • Growth of pubic and underarm hair.
  • Body sweats more.
  • Hair and skin become more oily.
  • Breast development and menstruation in girls.
  • Growth of testicles and penis.
  • Ejaculation and/or Nocturnal emissions (wet dreams) in boys.
  • Deepening of voice.
  • Growth of hair on face in boys.
  • Increased balance, strength and muscle control.

Middle Adolescence (approximately 15-16 years)

Movement Toward Independence

  • Self-involvement, alternating between unrealistically high expectations and poor self-concept.
  • Complaints that parents interfere with independence.
  • Extremely concerned with appearance and with one's own body.
  • Feelings of strangeness about one's self and body.
  • Lowered opinion of parents, withdrawal from them.
  • Effort to make new friends.
  • Strong emphasis on the new peer group.
  • Periods of sadness as the psychological loss of the parents takes place.
  • Examination of inner experiences, which may include writing a diary

Future Interests and Cognitive Development

  • Intellectual interests gain importance.
  • Some sexual and aggressive energies directed into creative and career interests.

Sexuality

  • Concerns about sexual attractiveness.
  • Frequently changing relationships or romantic interests.
  • Increased awareness and importance of sexual attraction and sexual orientation.
  • New and intense emotions around romantic relationships and romantic interests.
  • Feelings of love and passion.
  • Need for privacy, support, and validation especially for youth who’s sexual feeling, identity, and/or behavior is different from peer or family expectations.

Ethics and Self-Direction

  • Development of ideals and selection of role models.
  • More consistent evidence of conscience.
  • Greater capacity for setting goals.
  • Interest in moral reasoning.

Physical Changes

  • Continued changes of puberty.
  • Continued height and weight gains.
  • Growth of pubic and underarm hair.
  • Body sweats more.
  • Hair and skin become more oily.
  • Breast development and menstruation in girls.
  • Growth of testicles and penis.
  • Ejaculation and/or Nocturnal emissions (wet dreams) in boys.
  • Deepening of voice.
  • Growth of hair on face in boys.

Late Adolescence (approximately 17-19 years)

Movement Toward Independence

  • Firmer identity.
  • Ability to delay gratification.
  • Ability to think ideas through. Ability to express ideas in words.
  • More developed sense of humor.
  • Stable interests.
  • Greater emotional stability.
  • Ability to make independent decisions.
  • Ability to compromise.
  • Pride in one's work.
  • Self-reliance.
  • Greater concern for others.

Future Interests and Cognitive Development

  • More defined work habits.
  • Higher level of concern for the future.
  • Thoughts about one's role in life.

Sexuality

  • Concerned with serious relationships.
  • Clear sexual identity. Youth may need support and validation around sexual identity especially when identity is different from expectations of peers or family.
  • Capacities for tender and sensual love.

Ethics and Self-Direction

  • Capable of useful insight.
  • Stress on personal dignity and self-esteem.
  • Ability to set goals and follow through.
  • Acceptance of social institutions and cultural traditions.
  • Self-regulation of self-esteem.

Physical Changes

  • Most girls fully developed.
  • Boys continue to gain height, weight, muscle mass, body hair.

Teenagers do vary slightly from the above descriptions, but the feelings and behaviors are, in general, considered normal for each stage of adolescence.

[1] For more information on youth development see

[2] For more information on adolescent development see